My life had come to a complete halt. I had lived over 12 years in secret, and I no longer wanted to. I was done! I had attended my fair share of church services, prayer meetings, and often responded to altar calls to be prayed for. However, I felt like nothing changed after any of that.
I continued to feel empty and ashamed at how I allowed something to take control of my life with no power to stop it. The thing that had overtaken me was my addiction to pornography. I needed to figure out how to stop, and after searching for so long, God finally showed me how. I needed to open up about it.
For a great part of my life, I tried overcoming the addiction in my own strength while concealing it. But God couldn’t do anything with my silence. He needed me to be transparent so that He could begin His work in me.
Opening up about my addiction was the beginning of my healing process, but prayer was the key that guided me through it. My testimony became living proof of what James 5:16 says: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”.
Praying to God and going to friends in moments of weakness, when wanting to watch porn, helped me obtain the strength that I needed. Even though I didn’t feel it at the time, prayer was at work. It laid down groundwork in my heart which paved a way for change. Sometimes we don’t see anything happening at the forefront of our lives, but God is working in the background.
Growing up in church, I learned how to pray “good Christian prayers,” but God didn’t want to hear those. He wanted my real and raw emotions. He wasn’t and isn’t afraid of my feelings. The more authentic I became with Him, the easier it was to be real with myself and the community God had given me.
The power of prayer has continuously changed my perspective, and it has served as a reminder that It is His strength alone that carries me. Prayer changes the state of one’s heart from “I can’t overcome this addiction” to “I can overcome, and I have overcome.”
When you find yourself at, what seems like the end of your rope; pray. If you think nothing has changed, pray. When tempted, pray. When you finally do see change, keep praying. When you’re set free pray & praise to be reminded that it will be one of the most powerful tools that God has given you.
Prayer in itself is powerful and has been life-changing for me. However, while I was still battling in secret with a porn addiction, I stumbled upon XXXchurch.com and found many resources here that encouraged me and gave me strength. I read blogs and I downloaded X3watch. The blogs helped me to understand that I wasn’t alone and X3watch gave me internet accountability. I’d encourage you to do the same. There are great resources available to help you stop watching porn once and for all; including X3pure and My Pilgrimage. Take a look around the site and find out which program would be best for you. I am praying for you and believe you will get through this and will become stronger than ever.