I’ve never been as open as I am now. I’m not sure if you can attribute it to age, season or experience. Well now that I think about it, experience may get this Academy award.
I have experienced more within these past three years than my whole life. The past three of my thirty-three years have been tumultuous to say the least. I’ve been in love and had my heart broken. Confused about my spiritually. Questioned my sexuality. More mommy and daddy issues than one can handle. Found out I held grudges. Realized I’m bitter and seemingly mad at the world. And angry about things I have no control over. Whew!!! Talk about being open right?!?
The crazy part about all this is I never would’ve imagined I had all this going on. You couldn’t have paid me to believe that I held grudges or was bitter. It actually took me a long time to admit I was bitter. I’ve always felt like it was wrong to be bitter. But wrong in whose eyes? In the past, I’ve battled with tending to everyone’s perception or view of what I did and how I did it. My initial thought was that it was a sin to be bitter and that I should try to get over it. But how can you get over something you don’t address or acknowledge. I have a right to feel the way I feel about whatever I feel, it’s all in how I respond to that feeling.
I find it interesting that in this transitional season of my life this is the topic chosen for me to write about. I’ve always considered myself an “open book”, however, you have to know the right questions to ask because I don’t always volunteer information. Being open displays boldness and exemplifies growth. You’re able to openly express yourself in a way that could potentially help yourself and someone else. In my experience, people tend to flock to people that are open, honest and candid about their dealings with life. It gives them the courage to know they’re not alone in they’re struggling with the same issue and hope that they can overcome it.
Being in this head space I’ve found it very beneficial to open up. Although at times I feel lost and like an onion constantly being peeled, I’m learning a lot along the way. I read in a book recently that the one thing I need to do with self is ”be true to self.” In being true to self, you open up and allow things in or things to happen that you normally wouldn’t. You admit things that you normally wouldn’t say and just take a chance in doing things you normally wouldn’t do. You operate with facts because facts tend not to cloud your judgment. Well, at least I do.
Keeping the facts about a thing or situation in the forefront allows emotions no room to dwell and no breathing room to makes for or about anything. Sometimes it’s a fight to stay in that frame of mind but it’s a healthy place for me to remain during my healing process.
In being open, you let go of all previous thoughts, concepts, precepts and notions of things you once held onto. You kind of develop an “I don’t care” attitude towards them. You’ve done things your way or held things in for so long that you’re now desperate for advice or simply to just release what’s all been bouncing around in your head, heart or within your emotions. It always new to experience a breath of fresh air in which for most is greatly needed. It also, allows you the opportunity to relax, be free and get back to you or introduce you to “new you.”
I really appreciate those around me that have allowed me to open up and express myself to them without placing judgment. I’m thankful for those that have been a listening ear, provided their opinions but still allowed me to make my own decisions. It in return has made me comfortable with opening up and sharing about things that I would have kept to myself. It really feels good to allow someone else to analyze a situation, event or occurrence and show me something about self that I never saw, ask a question I never thought about or bring clarity about or bring clarity to something that I’ve been puzzled out. I appreciate it more than most will ever know.
Ironically, Craig has a new book coming out entitled Open. If you would like to purchase the book click here. If you’d like to read more about the book click here and if you’d like to check out a trailer for the book click here. Yes, lots of ways to get in on being more “open”. Here’s hoping that you’ll take advantage of at least one or two!