I don’t know what it was like for you but I grew up in a house where it wasn’t ‘You made a mistake’, it was ‘You are a mistake’ if you messed up.
There was and still is a stigma surrounding self-improvement and accountability. Falling short of perfection was a sign that you were a screw up and self-improvement/accountability was just a confirmation of that. So, I tried to hide my mistakes and shortcomings (and also hide any improvements I was trying to make).
I felt a lot of shame about my human qualities. It was an awful time for me, to hate and deny parts of myself, always hiding something and being afraid that someone would discover that I was not perfect. As a result of all of that, any time I was complimented, praised, or recognized for something positive, I would dismiss that because if they only knew the truth, the failures I was hiding, they wouldn’t be so kind. Or so I thought.
Little did I consider the fact that people who are unsupportive of self-improvement and accountability are just people who don’t want to see you change or improve for whatever reason. Most likely, they need you to be ‘less than’ so they can feel ‘greater than’. These people are more commonly known as haters. I cannot think of a single hater that I respect or admire. I cannot think of a time I was relieved to meet or interact with a hater.
To contrast all the hiding and the haters, there are those who are open with their struggles and their journeys toward betterment. Now these people are the ones who don’t look at you as ‘less than’ nor do they have a desire to come across as ‘greater than’. They are at peace with their humanness….and with yours! With them there is no shame in a helpful tool like accountability. They’ll share their success (and failure) stories with you and they’ll support and cheer you along with your journey. It’s all open and light and loving with them. Now these are the people I admire, respect, and feel blessed to know.
I know all too well how challenging it can be to be open with myself and others, let alone to achieve “flaunt it” status! But by steering clear of the haters in our lives and sticking close to the other, more open, people around us, no matter how different and uncomfortable it may be, maybe we can all get a little closer to rockin’ out with our….accountability out….together!
Ironically, Craig has a new book coming out entitled Open. If you would like to purchase the book click here. If you’d like to read more about the book click here and if you’d like to check out a trailer for the book click here. Yes, lots of ways to get in on being more “open”. Here’s hoping that you’ll take advantage of at least one or two!