I know what you guys (and gals) must be thinking. Am I actually endorsing a reality show and worse yet, one that’s on VH-1? (Because I must be honest with you, most of their programs are a sad, sad reflection of pop culture, today.)
Yep, I am.
Maybe it’s the entertainment journalism-nosey side of me that lured me in. Maybe it’s the fact that I shamelessly and unapologetically have had a crush on Dr. Drew since his MTV days. I don’t know. Don’t really care. I’m just glad that I gave it a chance because although it’s definitely got it’s slightly-sensationalism side (just like our Presidential campaign appears to be having these days), it’s also teaching me some things.
I know. You didn’t come on here to listen to me plug television programs, but just stick with me for a moment. First of all, if you haven’t seen the show, it’s starring (what???) a porn star. Mary Carey, to be exact. It’s actually her participation in the show that was another reason why I took a peek before getting sucked in. I wanted to know what got her into the porn game to begin with.
But as it relates to you all and the lives that you live in the “real world”, if you haven’t seen the first (three, I think) episodes, here are some points to consider:
1) You can’t have porn in rehab. Hmm. How interesting that even in the “secular” world, porn is not seen as “harmless” when you are battling an addiction.
2) Porn affects more than you. One of the things that motivated Mary to get into rehab was the fact that her mother attempted suicide and Mary told herself that if she didn’t die, she would “get clean.”
3) Porn takes you away from your authentic self. According to Mary Carey, that is not the “real her”; it’s a character. The sweet, sensitive, giving side is “Mary Ellen”, her real name. Ironically enough, Dr. Drew said two things that I think we all should take into consideration: “Porn creates pour body boundaries” and “It’s hard to do porn sober.”
Are you starting to see why I love the show? One thing that I have learned in my own life is that when I am tempted to do something that betrays any part of my human trinity (mind, body, spirit), the Enemy never shows that consequences of my choices. Have sex. Don’t worry about it. Bounce a check. Don’t worry about it. Gossip about your girlfriend. Don’t worry about it. Oh, but there are always consequences, many that our limited minds cannot even begin to fathom.
When it comes to pornography, I know for many of us it seems like a “quick fix”, but nothing that causes you to compromise yourself ever is. Another addict on the show is Daniel Baldwin. I remember him asking one of the other young ladies on the show how she felt after binging? “The problems were there before you did it and they’re there after, so really, what good did the drugs (or was it alcohol for her?) do?”
Think about why you do porn. I know at the pique of my addiction it was because either I wanted to have sex and (for whatever reason) couldn’t or, more times than not, it was to distract me from something else. And you know what? Daniel Baldwin is brilliant because he’s exactly right. Whatever ten minute high I got from those tapes or that erotica story, it didn’t change anything. All it did was add guilt to the equation.
Hmph. We’re always talking about what porn can take from you, but maybe we should start focusing on what it adds, huh? Guilt, stress, confusion, disillusionment…should I go on?
I know I said I would spend more time answering questions this year. I try my best to be a woman of my word. We’ll get into that before the week is out, but in the meantime, consider carving out Sunday nights to check out an episode or two. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded of the (potential) consequences before you make (another) choice.
Love ya’ll. We’ll talk soon.