OK,
Did anybody catch that news story about the chick who left her two kids to fly out of state to have sex with some 13-year-old *child* that she met while playing , Xbox?!? It’s just getting stranger and stranger out here, ain’t it?
What is it that Grandmama used to say? “As in the days of Noah”? Indeed.
I tried to put *that story* out of my mind until I came across another article on Gawker.com that said that according to a new study in Men’s Health Magazine, “Women in their 40s are much more likely to go all the way on a first date than women in their 20s” citing that “17 percent of women in their 20s will make love with someone they only just started dating — while 29 percent of females in their 40s are down for doing the deed right off the bat.” (You can “thank” the NY Post for that turn of a phrase!)
OK. Off top, y’all know the term “make love” irks me, right? Sex doesn’t “make love”. Even in the right context (um, *marriage*-Genesis 2:24-25, Hebrews 13:4), sex is still to *celebrate love*. Yet and still, even if you don’t believe that, how do you “make love” on a *first date*? How do you “love” someone you don’t even know?
That’s what trips me out about a lot of the corny romantic chick flicks that seem to capture a lot of women’s attention…and hearts…and imaginations. Now, don’t get me wrong. *I am a girl* and so I can enjoy a good fantasy from time-to-time with the best of ’em. BUT I could never understand how anyone could be moved by two people, *two actors*, that are cuddled up in bed, naked, asking, “So, what do you do for a living?”; “What’s your last name?”; “Are you in a relationship with someone?”
Making love? Making drama is what (most) folks are doing. Drama is never a good thing. Drama should be left *on screen* (check out the Message Version of Ecclesiates 7:18 sometime!).
And yet, I can somewhat get it when someone is in *their 20s.* It’s no justification but I remember those years *very well*. They were almost more taxing than my teens because you’re legally an adult and so more times than not, you’re too prideful to admit that you don’t have all of the answers and so you do things that cause you to question yourself and those around you more…and more…and more. And then, in your 30s, by Adonai’s grace, you spend time playing “clean up and catch up”. NEWSFLASH: If you’re 20, it doesn’t have to be that way. My mom used to often say that, “Discernment prevents experience from being your teacher.” Paul said the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). King Solomon said that pride comes before the fall (Proverbs 16:18). My “love brother”, Joey says, when someone is doing something that they know at best is “counterproductively risky” and at worse, *dead wrong*, “Oh, it’s gonna end. It’s just not gonna end…*well*.” Basically, we’re all saying the same thing: You don’t have to go through *everything*. This site is chocked full of people who can show you what “thinking you know it all”, at least when it comes to the misuse of sex, will get you. NOT. FAR. Especially when it comes to getting to where I’m sure you want to go. Forward. Securely and safely.
But 40?!?
OK, the hormonal thing I get. I’ll leave that for you all to Google more information on that (LOL). But what is it about a woman IN HER FORTIES that would settle for stooping so low as a one-night stand (cause if you’re getting down on a first date, 8.5 times outta 10, that’s *exactly* what’s transpiring)?
I thought about Titus 2. How the Word (John 1:1) tells us that older women are supposed to mentor younger women to “be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” (verses 3-5) And yet, how, at least out there in the world (although, I know some Cougars that go to church every weekend, *believe it*!), somehow the younger women value themselves more. Wow. Just wow.
What’s *really going on* with those older women? What about them is preventing them from “putting away childish things” (I Corinthians 13:11)? And yes, purposeless sex is not only sinful, but *childish* because it’s foolish…and silly…and impractical…and pointless. All of which are synonyms of the word. All of which sex was never supposed to be defined by or described as.
Yesterday, I celebrated four years of abstinence. If you want to check out some of the conclusions that I’ve come to, you can check out the blog here. Abstinence is not easy, most days not by a long shot, but as I said in my blog, I heard someone say, “You either date to break up or you date to marry.” When you engage in sex outside of God’s will *and purpose*, it’s also a *really big gamble*. Most people, whether they realize it at first or not, engage…to be devastated…or confused…or broken…or bitter…or obsessed…or addicted.
Or all of the above. Cyclically.
And yet, for every “attack survey” there’s a counterattack. I recently also read a study that stated, “Delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on…Couples who had sex the earliest — such as after the first date or within the first month of dating — had the worst relationship outcomes.” Yeah. I wonder how many hits that piece of insight got. It seems like less and less people want to wait for the real thing. They’d rather settle for the counterfeit.
Well. Not me. Being that I’m closer to 40 now more than ever, I guess the news article I read today will serve as my continual motivation to remain in a state of “dormat-but-not-dead” when it comes to my sex life (LOL).
Titus 2 is still alive and well. Someone out here’s gotta show the “young folks” how it’s done. That being worth the wait…that delayed gratification…that doing it God’s way is not only the obedient thing to do.
But it’s what every 20 and 40-year-old woman is deserving of.
A man who will use sex to celebrate love with them.
Rather attempt to make it.