DIRK’S STATEMENT:Is porn grounded in lust? yeah. News Flash! Men like sex. Women like attention. O.k. So maybe we should try giving to each other instead of just demanding what we want. Men, give some gentle attention to your wives. Women, give some hot, steamy sex to your men. The one thing that the women of porn provide is that they ALWAYS look like they WANT to have sex. Men like that. Nothing sexier than a woman that comes on to you. Before you go get your divorce, why not try giving your man some h**# every night for a week and see what happens.

SHELLIE’S RESPONSE: Oh, where do I begin? Now, I’m sure a few of you are wondering why I would repost something that some of you may view as “crass”, but to be honest , if you battle with porn and are on this site, and especially if you are male, I’m sure this is something you have thought, even if it’s not something you’ve actually said (and if you’re married, with good cause).

Remember, something that I mentioned in my last blog was that I am open ALL comments, questions and concerns. I don’t have to agree, but I do think everyone deserves to have their perspective heard and respected. Although, I’m not sure I can co-sign on the delivery of these “pearls of wisdom”, there are a couple of points that I agree with.

1) Men do like sex.

2) Women do like attention.

3) And yes, maybe we should try giving to each other instead of demanding what we want.

However, for me, the buck stops there. For one, as a woman who prays daily to abstain, I can speak for at least me—one woman, when I say that “I like sex.” Two, I have many male friends who have proven over time that they need just as much attention as any gal I know does. I think that men may just ask for it in different ways.

But yes, I do think that we should get to a point where we stop trying to make people be something they’re not—both in and out of the bedroom. If we are in a consensual sex relationship, and because this is a ministry site, for X3 this means if we are married, we should be just as concerned about what our partner needs as what we want.

But with that said, I have a hard time believing that men are addicted to porn because they are not getting enough sex. People are more complex than that. Sex is more complex than that.

Just ask the wives, like Kirk Franklin’s for instance, who, on Oprah said that it got to the point that what her husband wanted from her based on the porn flicks that he saw soon became physically impossible. Just ask the countless porn stars whose boyfriends will tell you that the “hot, steamy sex” that you see on screen is nothing like the REALITY sex they get at home. But more and perhaps most importantly, ask God what he thinks about substituting lust for love; desire for addiction. When it gets to the point of you trying to make your wife a porn character, there’s not enough “anything” that she can do to satisify your wants because at that point, it’s not about lovemaking. It’s about topping the last high. Just like a junkie.

What I am curious about, DIRK, is while you are providing this advice, are you married? And if so, are you happily married? Do you have a porn addiction on the side? How does that make your wife feel…if indeed she knows about it? It’s easy to make blanket statements so long as we are not expected to expose ourselves.

One thing that I hope this new year will bring is healthy insights on sexuality. Yes, the fantasy of porn is that the women are always “hot and ready”, but the fantasy of soaps is that the men are never broke and can wisk women away to tropical islands at a commercial’s notice. Should every husband be expected to be the next Victor Newman for his wife to consider him a good husband? Ridiculous, right?

My point exactly.