OK, let’s be real about masturbation for just a moment. It’s an act in which you think about sex (sometimes sex that involves you and another person and sometimes other people with other people) and based on those mental images, you sexually stimulate yourself to the point of release.

In most cases, it’s quick, it’s lonely and it’s addictive.

As someone who used to have sex with other people, watch porn and yes, masturbate (usually not all at the same time-LOL), I must admit that one of the reasons why I don’t masturbate now is that it was always such a pacifier and as I oftentimes tell people “pacifiers are for babies” (and believers are to get to a point in their lives where they put away childish things, right?-I Corinthians 13:11).

When you think about God’s design for sex (Genesis 2:24-25), when you read books like Sacred Sex (Tim Alan Gardner), when I think about the fact that sex affords us all with the opportunity to join our minds, bodies and spirits with another individual who has committed to loving us for the rest of our lives…OK, so what is supposedly so great about masturbation again? I mean, how does it (or can it) even compare?

That’s a part of the reason why it disturbs me that masturbation has become so prevalent that even believers are finding ways to justify the act. And I’m not even speaking from the position that it is rooted in lust (I John 2:16, James 1:14-15). I’m speaking of the fact that since God tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from him (James 1:17) and he can do exceedingly above all that we can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20-21), how does masturbation manifest itself as being God’s best for us? Why would we settle for such a poor imitation of the real thing?

I believe that a big part of it is because we don’t want to face the fact that in some way, it indulges our addictions. It might be our addiction to porn. It might be our addiction to sex (well, actually to orgasms because masturbation is not a true substitute for sex). It might be our addiction to thinking that we will never get more in life, by way of relationships, than a physical release.

And take it from me, when you’re spending so much of your time trying to feed your addictions, it prevents you from truly putting that same energy into receiving real love, healthy intimacy and pleasure that truly satisfies (because yes, contrary to popular assumption, the Lord does root for us to experience pleasure-Psalm 16:11). Masturbation does not give us those things. Masturbation simply indulges our addictions—the things that are stumbling blocks to having God’s best. It’s “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10) at it’s finest.

Don’t believe me?

OK think about it: If you had to choose between an awesome person who has committed their entire life to loving you to have sex with in a big plush bed with God’s blessing vs. masturbating alone while conjuring up some trumped up fantasy on some couch in a dark room, which would you pick? Yeah, if you said masturbation, we have a bigger problem on our hands than I thought (no pun intended).

You deserve to experience real intimacy not to settle for simply indulging your addictions.
Please. Choose wisely.