No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man;
but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what
you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”—I Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV)


Please believe that I thought long and hard before penning this one.  If you have followed me on this site, even for a little while, then I’m sure you can tell that I don’t hold back much.  A wise man once said, “Tell your business before someone else exaggerates it” and I fully agree with him.

But this one? THIS ONE is intimate on an entirely different level, but I’m going to go ahead and put it out there, anyway. To be honest with you, my only real reservation is that I am fully aware that just as many men, if not more than women, read my blog and you have to be responsible with what/how you say things…yes, even on a porn (ministry) website. But, as I prayed about it this morning, the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) brought to my remembrance one of my favorite scriptures: I Timothy 4:14-16(AMP). I will include the 16th verse here:

“Look well to yourself [to your own personality] and to [your] teaching;
persevere in these things [hold to them], for by so doing you will save
both yourself and those who hear you.”

My other motivation is that I know there are many people who come on here for the first time and they see those of us with some time under our belts (no pun intended) when it comes to our “deliverance” from sexual immorality. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING: If any freed person is going to be real and honest (John 8:32), they will tell you that each day, we have to make a choice just like (right now) each hour, you may have to when it comes to “staying clean”.  I’m not sure if now, with 2 1/2 years of abstinence behind me, things are *easier* so much as the process has helped me to value myself more. Plus, I remember far too well what it was like going through the “six-week mark”, the “three-month” mark…the (whew!) six-month mark (that one is a beast!), the “one year anniversary”.  I just don’t want to go through those seasons of “detox” anymore…if I can avoid it. AND WE ALL CAN by putting our trust in our Creator; the one who made us and sex. (Oh, how so many of us tend to forget that!) I just don’t want you to feel like you’re out here alone; that we’re preaching AT you rather than walking this road WITH you.

OK, let me get into this so that I don’t punk out. 🙂

A couple of weeks ago, one night, I had a HUGE desire to masturbate. That was “my thing” at one point…until God revealed to me that while single, my body belongs to the Holy Spirit (I Corinthians 6:19) and when I’m married it will belong to him and my husband (I Corinthians 7:4).  This particular night, I didn’t care, though. I AM 35-YEARS-OLD and I have over 30 months of no nookie behind me and I’m WORN OUT.

Stop…look…LISTEN: When God says he doesn’t lie (Titus 1:2) and that he’s true to his Word, he ain’t playin’.  He will provide a way of escape…even when you are alone and ready to masturbate. Right when I was about to, I got a Charlie Horse…an excrutiating one.  Now, this is where I will tread softly, but let’s just say that I didn’t know that those were possible…where it was. I’ve only had one previously in my leg.  IT TOOK A WHOPPING 45 MINUTES for it to go away and because of it’s “placement” there was nothing I could do but wait it out and pray for it to leave.  I know God was like, “What did I tell you? That is not for you.”  Crazy, ain’t it? A part of my body that I live with…not being for me. Unreal.  But when I think about the purpose of sex (pick up “Sex.God” by Rob Bell if you haven’t already) and the purpose of my body as it relates to sex, God, as always, is exactly right.

And you know the funny thing (although it soooooo wasn’t funny at the time)?  That pain was SO RIDICULOUS that I’m too scared to even attempt “it” again.  Sometimes you go through something and the pain was so fleeting that you forget. SOMETIMES you go through something and the pain is so…well…PAINFUL that you will never forget it.  That night was one of those times.

So, being weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9)? Oh honey, I’m right there with you.  I am walking this out in faith just as much as anyone else, but I do want to encourage you to stand strong and to really (and I mean REALLY) trust God.  He really does know how much we can bear, he really will deliver us…

Just be prepared (as best you can) for the methods he may use.

Some ain’t so pretty. Oh, but they are SUPER-DUPER EFFECTIVE.

Thanks, God. Yep. I’ll remember that lesson for the rest of my days.

Mission accomplished. Purity in tact.