“Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”—I Corinthians 7:2(NKJV)

“Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well.”—Proverbs 5:15(NKJV)



I don’t know *what* was up with last week and it’s bevy of information re: all of the *wrong ways* to engage in sex, but it did remind me of a quote that I read in the book that paved the way towards me actually taking abstinence seriously (and literally) almost five years ago: “Sacred Sex: A Spiritual Celebration of Oneness in Marriage” (Tim Alan Gardner):

It’s time for Christians to bring the idea of sex and holiness together. M. Scott Peck, in his book Further Along the Road Less Traveled, writes that ‘sex is the closest that many people ever come to a spiritual experience. Indeed, it is because it is a spiritual experience of sorts that so many chase after it with a repetitive, desperate kind of abandon. Often, whether they know it or not, they are searching for God.’ In other words, the world’s quest for meaningful sex is also a quest for meaning in life—for God.”—“Holy Sex”, “Sacred Sex”, Pg.23

Yeah. Some of the more traditionally-minded folks may find that to be a stretch, but, um…well:

“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’ There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for ‘becoming one’ with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”—I Corinthians 6:16-20(Message)


It’s that simple. Oh, but how humans have made it so…complicated.

I thought about that as I checked out an article on how even in this tanking economy, where we’re paying as much as (and I *still* can’t believe it!) $4 for ONE GALLON OF GAS (sigh), the sales for sex toys are going through the roof. Matter of fact, it’s reported to be a $15 billion dollar industry.

I thought about it again as I read another article about how many women are preferring the Internet over sex. As a matter of fact, the exact phrase that the author of the piece used was that women are becoming (wow) “increasingly more passionate about the Internet.”

I thought about it some more as I read yet another piece that reminded me of why the Word, which is God (John 1:1), says that the wisdom of the world is *foolishness* with God; that he catches the wise in their craftiness…that he knows the thoughts of the wise and they are futile (I Corinthians 3:18-20). A crafty person is someone who is deceitful, underhanded and sly, by the way. Oh, and something that is futile? It’s something that proves to be ineffective and useless. Kinda like an article that I glanced over entitled (geeze), “The Sunny Side of Smut” that actually set out to scientifically prove that porn can be kinda good (is that like being “kinda pregnant”?) for a person:

“Contrary to what many people believe, recent research shows that moderate pornography consumption does not make users more aggressive, promote sexism or harm relationships. If anything, some researchers suggest, exposure to pornography might make some people less likely to commit sexual crimes.”

Yeah. OK. I was sexually assaulted in high school by two guys who watched porn and date raped as a young adult by another who engaged. I also went to school with a girl whose sister was murdered on our birthday by a 15-year-old who “graduated” to snuff films. Gimme a break. Oh, and this paragraph right here was a real doozy:

“Regular pornography use does not seem to encourage sexism, either. In 2007 Alan McKee, a cultural studies expert at the Queensland University of Technology in Australia, designed a questionnaire to assess sexist tendencies. He enclosed his survey in shipments of pornographic material distributed by a mail-order company and also posted it online. Responses from 1,023 pornography users indicated that the amount of pornography the subjects consumed did not predict whether they would hold negative attitudes toward women. The survey respondents who were most sexist were generally older men who voted for a right-wing political party, lived in a rural area and had a lower level of formal education.”

So, men who look at naked women that don’t belong to them for the purpose of sexual release? That’s because they *respect us*? Because they honor us as a gift from God? *Really now*.

And yet, I think it was a Newsweek feature that caught my attention the most. The feature is entitled, “The John Next Door” and it goes on to extensively share the growing demand for prostitutes. Melissa Farley, the director of Prostitute Research and Information, and the individual who provided a lot of data for this article provided this insight:

“Farley found that sex buyers were more likely to view sex as divorced from personal relationships than nonbuyers, and they enjoyed the absence of emotional involvement with prostitutes, whom they saw as commodities. “Prostitution treats women as objects and not … humans,” said one john interviewed for the study.

In their interviews, the sex buyers often voiced aggression toward women, and were nearly eight times as likely as nonbuyers to say they would rape a woman if they could get away with it. Asked why he bought sex, one man said he liked ‘to beat women up.’ Sex buyers in the study committed more crimes of every kind than nonbuyers, and all the crimes associated with violence against women were committed by the johns.”

Ah, a *blatant contrast” from that “sunny side of smut” piece, isn’t it? However, what stayed with me more than anything was that these men (in Newsweek) said that they wanted to have sex *sans* the emotional involvement. Hmph. Reminds me of what an ex once told me: “Men don’t pay prostitutes for sex. They pay them to leave.” And yet, that is not what sex was created, BY GOD, NOT MAN, for. It’s to be a mind, body and spirit-ual experience. *For a man and a woman*. More accurately, a man and *a wife*. Most accurately, a man…*and his own wife* (Hebrews 13:4). Yet ironically, while the demand for and expectations of prostitutes are soaring…look at where the Word says it’s leading men to:

“For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell. Lest you ponder her path of life— her ways are unstable; you do not know them.”—Proverbs 5:3-6(NKJV)

An immoral woman is bitter. Her unrepentant path leads towards death and hell. And don’t forget the fact that she’s unstable. A gift from God who uses herself for lust’s purposes would have to be. I’ve never been a prostitute in the classic sense, but I’ve slept with enough men who weren’t my husband to know that queens don’t balance crowns on their backs…once they know that they are indeed a queen.

And to a man, a bitter, unstable chick…that’s an idea of *good sex*? That’s worth *paying for*? Wow.

Especially being that a wife, a helper (Genesis 2:18), is what God created 1) for you to actually be having sex with and 2) to bring FAVOR into your life (Proverbs 18:22). It’s A WIFE who brings goodwill, support and a certain level of approval from God. 

The devil is such a liar (John 8:44). *And a hater*. As a fallen angel, he can’t even have a wife and so look at how he’s hoodwinked guys into wasting valuable time and resources to *buy* what God desires to so freely *give*. A matter of fact, God will do you one better than sex (Ephesians 3:20, James 1:17). He’s out to provide men with real and lasting *intimacy*. 

Which basically brings that M. Scott Peck quote full circle, doesn’t it? Have you ever had a diet something? Soda or perhaps ice cream? If you’ve had the real thing, it just doesn’t really compare. You can have 15 Diet Dr. Pepper’s but if you’re really honest with yourself, it doesn’t hold a light (pun intended-Matthew 5:14) to one original.

Hmph. Amazing how many men *claim* that porn and prostitution satisfies and yet…would it be a billion-dollar-plus industry if men weren’t going back? Over…and over…and *over* again?

The devil is like a bad used car salesman. And what he offers *never* gets us very far.

It’s time that we get back to the Manufacturer of sex.

To the place that has holiness and fun all in the covenience of a marital covenant.

Fellas, stop renting a counterfeit.

Ask God to *give* you the real thing.

When it comes to a woman, a wife…stop deceiving yourselves.