I’m actually not going to be with you my (usual) long today. I get teased a lot about the length of the messages I write, but you know what? 35 is an age that I wish someone had told me about at 20 because I would’ve done it then (LOL). I’ve learned more and more to spend my time being myself than trying to appease other people by trying to be someone else. I write a lot, indeed. It’s my fingerprint on the blogging world. It is what it is. No apologies. (LOL)
But today, at 2:46am in the morning, I am sending this lil’ shout out, prayerfully, as a confirmation to some and an answer to others. This is specifically for women who may be undecided about a relational fork in their “heart road” to take.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a trillion timeS: when it comes to the courtship movement surrounding Proverbs 18:22 (“He who findeth a wife finds a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord”), I really wish people would research the word “find” more often. But more importantly, I wish more people would spend time in Genesis 2:18 where the Lord BROUGHT the Woman to Adam. Finding is cool and yes, if a man finds a wife, OF COURSE, because we are helpmates, he finds a good thing. Oh, but if we are BROUGHT, because that is how it was done in the “perfect world”, that is far better.
Now if you read the Marriage Preparation series, then you are more than familiar with all that by now. This blog entry is actually about one particular angle of “brought”. This is for the women who feel like the Lord is actually leading them to be, on some level, the initiators of the process and are wondering if it’s right…since so many of us have been told that it’s wrong.
Just for clarity’s sake, I’m not talking about the desperate stalker chicks or seductresses. That’s another blog entirely. I’m referring to the young women who are prayerful, who strive to live a life of holiness, who are single and there’s something nagging at them to do something that just doesn’t seem…traditional. To give a man a call. To invite him over for dinner. To make some kind of first move. I’M TALKING TO YOU.
Now this ain’t no Cosmopolitan article. I don’t feel led to give an “5 Steps to Get a Man” insights. You have your journey and I have mine. Each recipe is individualized. But if you are seeking clarity, I am going to make three brief recommendations:
1) Spend some time prayer journaling about the following passages for personal revelation: “Lord, you have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know everything I do. Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it. You are all around me—in front and in back— and have put your hand on me. Your knowledge is amazing to me…” (Ps. 139:1-6-NCV) One of my absolute favorite scriptures is the Message Version of Proverbs 28:9, “God has no use for the prayers of the people who won’t listen to him.” Everything about you and your personality plays a part in your purpose. Even if you are driven, ambitious, tenacious…and what the “world” may call a bit “aggressive”. And here’s the thing: NO ONE KNOWS YOU OR YOUR FUTURE LIKE YOUR CREATOR DOES. Some of us in this life are “Rachel” (and had a man work for years to get us) and some of us are “Ruth” who…well…was seen by Boaz because she made herself known. They were both godly women. The formula was not the same but the results were somewhat similar…and actually when you think about it, Ruth probably got the better end of the deal (LOL). If you are in the beginnings stages of a relationship and you don’t know what to do, wise counsel is cool, recommended even, but go to the Lord, the one who knows you and the person you are inquiring about FIRST. There’s not nearly enough people providing prayer before counsel; who seek foresight before offering insight. Which leads me to #2.
2) Cop the book, “The Gospel of Ruth: Loving God Enough to Break the Rules” by Carolyn Custis James. One day, as I was in prayerful contemplation (borderline mild irritation) about what to do in my own journey as one of those driven, ambitious, tenacious, aggressive women, I was in a discount Christian bookstore and “came up on” this book for $6. IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE IN THE SENSE OF PROVIDING ME WITH PEACE. One day I just might write an entire book about it all, but let’s just say that one day, a couple of years ago, the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) visited me and said, “I want you to write so-and-so a letter.” That directive has rerouted me and my way of viewing relationships on so many levels. Ruth made bold moves, but the Lord was in on the plan. He knew her. He knew Boaz. He knew what it would take for them to come together. Tradition never trumps obedience. Get the book. Clarity is in it. Guaranteed.
3) Listen to the following podcast by Pastor David Hughes (http://www.cbglades.com/podcast/greater-things-bicycles-and-blue-chairs/). And you see, here’s the thing: the main part that I want you to focus on, while it’s all pretty good, is the very beginning and very end. A little girl’s, A LITTLE GIRL’S bold move changed the course of her life and led her somewhere very special…to her destiny. She was the heroine in this story.
Is that it? Yep. Quite honestly, that’s all I really feel led to say. When it comes to matters of the heart, I’ve learned to be “slow to speak” because there is death and life in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). I’m not trying to start something that shouldn’t be started or abort something that shouldn’t be aborted. All I know is, it’s now 3:22am, I have a class in the morning, and I was awakened with the urge to pen this out…to let some woman, somewhere, know that no, you are not crazy for thinking that the Lord may be telling you to do something in a way that defies what/how MAN (who is flawed, by the way) taught you things should go. I believe the Lord honors chivalry but I know that he appreciates total surrender to his will even more. Women aren’t supposed to pursue? Well, I know one place where that is totally not true and that is when it comes to the pursuit of our Father. Go to him and follow just as he leads.
…and keep me posted. I too would love to know who I got up this early for. (LOL)
Send me a wedding picture when it all pans out.
EVERYTHING has at time…and a purpose.
For someone, this would be it.
A sign…a step…to lead you…somewhere. 😉
(Oh, and if you’re someone who wants to write me to criticize this, it wasn’t for you. The person it’s meant for will understand. That’s also a guarantee!)
©Shellie R. Warren/2010