Valentine’s Day just passed and “spring fever” is just around the corner. This time of year tends to bring up feelings of depression, regret, and loneliness. You see commercials advertising that “Every kiss begins with Kay” and all the great gifts men should shower on women during that “holiday” and some even the other way around. And, personally, my iPod is constantly trying to romance me with its “Genius” mixes. How are the single ladies (and gents) to deal?
I have been a teacher of various capacities for the last 10+ years. This, joined with my avid love of books, have afforded me the opportunity to read many of them. One of my favorite children’s authors is Patricia Polacco. I am reminded that God has someone special planned just for us, a perfect fit, in her book, Someone for Mr. Sussman. The lead character, Jerome’s grandmother, is a matchmaker. She has a saying she shares with Jerome – “No pot is so crooked that there isn’t a lid to fit it.” With that said, I just want to remind and encourage you – your time is coming. But how does one deal in the meantime?
There are several ways. First, I recommend getting comfortable and learning to enjoy being single. There are so many blessings that are associated with being single that you are no longer afforded when you are married. This is the time you can romance yourself – send yourself flowers, take yourself to dinner or the movies, buy yourself a gift. The best part is you will never have to worry if you’ll like it – you know yourself better than anyone. If you don’t, then now is the time to learn yourself.
Next, be happy for your friends and family who are in relationships. Bitterness and bad attitudes ruin good friendships and relationships. You’ll want and need the support of your loved ones when your time comes.
Then, create a fun and inspiring possibility. Anyone who knows me knows I am big on creating possibilities – for everything! One of the possibilities I have recently created is the possibility of being 30, flirty, fabulous and worth every moment. (Yep…I’m embracing the Big 3-0 later in June and I am having a blast with this new possibility so far!) What new possibility can you create to deal with your feelings of loneliness?
Finally, don’t be alone when you are feeling lonely or depressed. Spend time “dating” God and your friends. Seek out professional help if your feelings are overwhelming or you have thoughts of harming yourself or someone else. Pray. Find a friend to call or text or email. Pray some more – by yourself or with a friend or group of friends. Read the Word of God. Join a group – Bible study, dance class, cooking club, etc. Get out in the community – you won’t meet anyone sitting at home. What some of my friends and I do are create game nights, cocktail parties (they are great excuses for the LBD), slumber parties, movie nights, or even outings around our community (ceramic cafes, Legoland, museums, concerts, etc). For this season of loneliness, my friends and I are having a get together with the theme “Love Is in the Air” where we will just celebrate the love we have for one another and spend time enjoying each other’s company and acknowledge one another for the contributions we all are.
Remember – “No pot is so crooked that there isn’t a lid to fit”. Spend your time dating yourself, dating God, and dating your friends. You’ll be having such a good time you won’t have time to feel lonely or depressed. While you’re out having fun, others will be noticing – perhaps even your “lid”.