It’s been interesting. The two *extremely different* things that have been sent to be over the course of just a few days.
First up: OK, I honestly don’t know where I’ve been that I wasn’t aware of the whole “Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby” website, but when someone sent me the Huffington Post article/update on it last month (re: the colleges with the largest amount of “sugar babies” on campus), I must admit that the first thing that came to my mind was, “Boy, I bet a lot of people’s mamas were calling them after reading *that*!” and two, “OK, that’s just another way of saying ‘pimp’ and ‘prostitute’, right?”
And then I went to the site and saw that the (eh hem) Sugar Daddy was explained this way: “You are always respectful and generous.” A man who buys women’s time is always *respectful*? Of what? And to whom? Not the woman. Not himself. Because if he really esteemed both, he wouldn’t be purchasing time or attention or affection. His wallet wouldn’t be on the table. His heart would be on his sleeve (relatively-speaking).
And then I went to the Sugar Baby side.
Um…did anyone read about that due who adopted his girlfriend to protect his assets? Hmph. Don’t get me started. Can’t put forth the effort to propose, but can find the ingenuity to make her his “daughter”. A grown woman cool with being “adopted”. Hundreds of others cool with being someone’s “baby”…with having a sponsor…benefactor…did they really use the word “mentor”?!? I think that’s why it seemed so ridiculous when I read how the Sugar Baby’s purpose was (ill) defined: “You know you deserve to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially.” I deserve someone who sees my value as a child of God and a grown woman with dreams and values but no…I’m not looking for a dude to *empower me* and *help me out mentally and emotionally*. And if we’re going to *help each other out* financially, why not just get married?
Then there was the other heads up I got. Actually on my “On Fire” blog:
I am the producer of the TV show Virgin Diaries and we’re looking for couples who are getting married in the next few months, all over the US, to be featured on a possible upcoming episodes. I am currently trying to reach out to couples who are saving their very first kiss for their wedding day. There is compensation and we’re looking for couples ASAP.
Have you vowed to save your first kiss for the moment you are pronounced husband and wife? Are you engaged to the love of your life and have been saving yourself for your wedding night? If you and/or your fiancé(e) have been waiting to be intimate, and/or share your first kiss and are now counting down the days to your wedding day – we want to hear your extraordinary story!
To be part of “Virgin Diaries” please contact: [email protected] OR
You know, when I was in college, almost 20 years ago, there were certain football players who would be on the outskirts of campus at random hours of the day and night and you would see them get into luxury cars and limos. And sidebar: women weren’t at the steering wheel. Older men were. “Sugar daddies” have been around since the beginning of time. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 tells us, there is *nothing* new under the sun. Yet what really and truly (and truly and really) disturbs me is that if this is how more and more young women (and men) are processing relationships, sex and men (and women), how do they see things like marriage, *intimacy* and their *true* worth and value? A quick buck? There’s no such thing and once they graduate, how will they feel when they sit down and watch an episode of the “Virgin Diaries”? When they realize that old adage of why pimps, er Sugar Daddies, *really* come their way: “Prostitutes aren’t paid for sex, they are paid to leave.” What happens when they see that they are not being *empowered*; they are being *used*. UP. I work with teenage girls; some who have never even been on a formal date and are on their first (if not second or third) child. Indeed, if they’re not being *courted*, why would they see the point in going to the *courthouse* for a *marriage license*? MOST. OF. THEM. DON’T.
More and more, I’m seeing how *relentless* the Liar (John 8:44) is and how covenant marriage is becoming an *endangered species*. Personally, I don’t believe “sugar” would go down so smoothly if these girls really understood the *extreme pricelessness* of what they had to offer. Something that is so invaluable that only a wedding band and a promise of forever could afford it.
Yet, I don’t know if we’re getting that message effectively across: both in the Church and out (cause you know some of those girls go to church). Honestly, I don’t know if we *ever* were, really. And it breaks my heart. Just as I’m sure, whether now or later, it will break many of their spirits.
A bitter pill to swallow. Knowing that you weren’t being rented. I guess there would need to be some “sugar” to make that easier to take.
We’ve got to do better. Any suggestions?