Please forgive me for not posting the blog on how to date from one of our contributors today (I will in a couple of days…*promise*!). After reading an article on People’s magazine’s website just now, I *just had* to post something else first. The title of this piece was “Olympian Lolo Jones: Being a Virgin Hinders Finding a Boyfriend“. It was this part in particular that caught my attention:
“This journey has been hard,” she continues. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics. Harder than studying for college has been staying a virgin before marriage.”
At 29, *I bet it IS hard* (kudos to you, girl!). I have some other virgins in my life (well, more like women who have not been penetrated…I can’t believe how many “virgin variations” that there are these days!). They range from 32-42 (no joke) and they share the difficulty that comes with holding out. Only, they speak more about the pressure that comes with wanting to do what everyone else is doing or the *curiosity* that comes in wanting to know what the big deal is all about.
But as someone who had *plenty of sex* a little over five years ago, I thought I would pose this question: “What’s harder? Being a virgin or being someone who’s had sex and is now abstinent?” After all, the latter category is not *supposing* that sex *might* be good/fun/entertaining. *We know about it first hand*. And honestly, my point is not to knock either side. My point in asking the question is to propose that if we heard from both sides, maybe we as Christians, a ministry leaders, as supporters of sex until marriage (and yes, this website *supports sex until marriage*-Hebrews 13:14), can actually *meet people where they are* rather than providing blanket resolves. After all, a virgin and an abstinent person may have “no sex right now” in common, but on many levels and for many reasons, the buck kinda stops there.
Besides, for some reason, it seems like “virgin” is the Word of the Week in the media because I also read an interview that Miley Cyrus did in which she stated, “I think [sex] does change you as a person a little bit because you start thinking maybe that’s what guys want from you,” she told The Sun. “It’s a big part of growing up, because it opens a whole new connection — and heartbreak.”
Somehow, I just refuse to believe that in God’s *perfect plan*, heartbreak and sex were to go hand-in-hand.
And the “changes you *a little bit*” part? It changes you in every way you can imagine. That’s just a heads up to the virgins from an abstinent chick.
Anyway, I’m curious to know you all’s thoughts on the matter.
Do you think virginity is more challenging or abstinence? And either way, why or why not?