Let me preface this by saying…
I’m going to post this article just as it was written minus the cuss/offensive words. It’s pretty impactful. It’s a letter that I read on a website that was discussing the issue of virginity and porn watching; two things that I read about as it relates to this website on a fairly regular basis. Yes, there are *a lot* of virgins who engage pornography. Here’s the letter:
I’ve been watching porn longer than I’ve been having sex. Since I’ve been navigating my way around the internet since I was about 10, I’ve learned a great deal about everything, even things I shouldn’t have been learning about. At a very young age I found internet porn and became fascinated with it, how could I not?
I must admit, seeing porn at such an early age gave me a twisted perception of what sex is and what sex should be like.
From the get go I always thought sex had to be some rough and wild event, with hair pulling and a– slapping. I lost my virginity around the age of 15 and it wasn’t the loving, emotional experience it SHOULD have been, rather it was more like something out of internet porn, because at this point this was all I’ve ever known.
To be completely honest, pornography had a great impact on my sex life up until just about recently when I realized it isn’t about ‘putting on a show’ but rather making a connection with someone. Pornography rarely shows the ’emotional human connection’ that many of us desire while in bed with someone. Sadly, the upcoming generation of youths will be learning about sex the same way I did, through internet pornography, and although at times porn can be educational (for positions and whatnot) its pretty much useless as far as having deep, meaningful sex.
Don’t get me wrong, I love porn. I could watch porn until I’m blue in the face, but do I believe pornography is good in the hands of virgins? No, I do not. I believe it is more detrimental than it is good and that it will negatively affect the first time the ‘virgin’ has sex.
How could it not? If all you’ve ever known is some bleach blonde s— jumping on some over-sized c— and faking an orgasm I’m pretty sure the first time you attempt sex the event will somehow mirror what you’ve watched on the porn site. You feel me?
I mean, there is no way around it, youths are able to get their hands on pornography very easily these days, easier than I was ever able to obtain it and they’re learning what ‘their first time’ will be like by porn stars. Although I credit pornography with my ride range of positions and a good portion of my ‘kinky’ nature, I do believe for the first so many years of me being sexually active, pornography had a major impact on how I conducted myself in the bedroom.
These days I’m a better f— than any porn star I’ve ever watched, so maybe those s—- did teach me something good. However, I’d much rather think I learned what I learned from them and improved on it.—Mynameisblueskye
What is your relationship with porn? How do you think porn affects people who haven’t had sex?
Back to Shellie: You know, my brother used to have as his bio on his Facebook profile these two words only: conflicted resolve. That is what I thought about as I read this. So, she started watching porn at 10. She knows it has warped her perception of sex. She says that it robbed her of a truly intimate experience. She’s concerned about the fact that there are now a generation of people who are learning about how to have sex from internet porn (a place where people are paid, people fake, people are oftentimes not sober, people are *not in love with the people they are having sex with*). She says that sex has made her kinky and better at sex than the porn stars she watches yet at the same time, it kept/keeps her from having “deep, meaningful sex”. And in spite of all of this, she says that she loves porn.
Interesting isn’t it? Something that has done all of that damage, has robbed her of so much, is something that she claims to love.
The first thing that came to my mind is, “Can you actually *love porn*?” I mean, God is love and love is patient and kind and a whole lot of other things that *porn is not*.
Then my second thought was this: “I hope people realize that porn doesn’t ‘love’ them back. Porn uses people for money. Porn jacks up marriages. Porn provides people with a false/limited understanding of *true sexuality*. Porn messes with people’s body image issues. Shoot, porn will jack up your computer by leaving all kinds of viruses on it.”
And finally I thought about how this ministry wouldn’t even exist if people weren’t engaging in porn and, dare I say it, secretly sharing some of the same sentiments as this young lady has. And so, with that said, because I’m curious, I’m going to throw it out there.
Do you think it is possible to actually *love* porn? If so, why. If not, why not?
And just as the article asked, “How do you think porn affects people who haven’t had sex?” Because the author of the article is right. There are many studies to support that how people are introduced to sex is how they will find themselves preferring to have it, whether it’s healthy or not. So if a virgin is “learning” about “sex” from porn…well…
Anyway, I’ll reserve my comments for later. You know the drill. Sound off…