“I’ve been there. I understand.“
Hearing these two phrases always encourages me. They don’t necessarily help or encourage everyone, and some people actually cannot even stand to hear that, but me? Hearing that brightens my mood and lifts my spirits.
I’ve had days turn into weeks–which turned into months–of depressing “blues” days where I just feel stuck. I was in a rut, but it took me so long to see it because I felt surrounded by darkness.
If you’re there, then I understand.
I have been that stir-crazy housewife, I have nannied and cared for busy little ones, and I have had my share of family drama or workplace fires to put out. I have overeaten myself into comfort-food binge days and gained weight. I have had my feelings so hurt and spirit so wounded, that I wanted to die. I have suffered from migraines and severe PMS.
I enjoy seeing women strong and successful, at home, in school, or at a career they love, but dislike the mistreatment we have been the victims of. We are not objects or toys. We are equal and complement our companions, and we all just want to be loved.
The baby is screaming, dinner is burning on the stove, the doorbell and phone are ringing, and you feel trapped. Your home is messy or cluttered and looks nothing like the Pinterest dream board you created, so you tune out and ignore. You run screaming for help or hide in a prayer closet and never are able to share. If you have time to blog or journal, it’s a sob story or it’s a quote because you can’t express how crazy you feel. If only you had energy to wake at 5:00 A.M. and run, or you could afford a treadmill at your desk. If only he would come and help get the kids to church on time, life would be better. But you don’t want to scold or nag, so you stay quiet.
I’ve been there. I understand.
Your mother calls. Check the oven. There’s the neighbor kids again, they want to play with your preschooler who’s glued to Dora the Explorer. And your mind runs a mile a minute…
*What if I buy this, will he notice? Maybe if I try new makeup he will kiss me on date night.
*Check online for hair tutorials. Mine never seems to stay as pretty as hers.
*I wonder if that therapist Karen was talking about would help us.
*Oh my brain is mush; gotta run and check the oven.
*Why doesn’t he see the dirt?! I wish his mom had taught him to do his own laundry so that I’m not always picking up immediately after.
*I wish pornography hadn’t twisted our marriage into something ugly. Can we ever be whole again?
*Oh wow, gotta do my nails later. Wish I had time and money for a mani-pedi.
I’ve been there. I understand.
And so does Jesus.