What do you think of when you think of Mother’s Day? Be honest with yourself. Today I want to encourage you by saying that there’s no right way to feel about Mother’s Day. 

Society sends us all kinds of messages about both Mother’s and Father’s Day. I realize this month we’re focused on moms, however this same goes for Father’s day. I think there’s a lot of danger in trying to pressure ourselves to feel a certain way about this holiday, or force ourselves to celebrate on a day that we may actually be feeling immense pain.

Consider reasons why we turn to porn and other addictive behaviors.

Is it not in order to feel okay?
To feel comforted?
To relieve stress?
To avoid pain? (To name a few.)

I use the phrase “give yourself permission” often in therapy. I think it’s so important to do away with the “should’s and shouldn’t’s” of life that bring not much more than shame. 

Maybe your mom was/is great. That’s truly a thing to celebrate. By no means am I trying to take away from those family dynamics where Mother’s Day is truly a sentimental celebration. However I’m talking to those whose relationship to Mother’s Day might be a little messy to say the least. 

What would it look like to let yourself feel what you needed to feel about Mother’s Day? Maybe you’re experiencing it without your mom for various reasons. Maybe the last person you’d like to see is your mom, or maybe she’s the first person you’d like to see and it’s not going to happen. 

I don’t pretend to know your situation, or your relationship with your mother. Here’s what I do know. Forcing ourselves to feel something we don’t or celebrate something we don’t want to is like a boiling pot of water. We will explode, and likely our vice (porn and other things) will be involved in the clean-up. 

So this Mother’s day- give yourself permission to feel. Give yourself permission to grieve. Give yourself permission to remember or honor her. Talk to God about it. I’ve gotten angry and sad and everything in between with God. I promise you He can handle it. Don’t allow this holiday to be what keeps you in the chains of pornography or any other vice.