I found it to be far more interesting that a 10-year-old (10-year-old?!?) in Spain recently gave birth to a child and they are having a hard time knowing what to do about the father because he’s under age as well. How about what to do about her parents…and his?!? Where was a child of that age to be able to engage in pornea (Greek for “fornication”) in the first place?!?
Anyway, I thought that I would blog about the other point just because I actually appreciated that the CNN article did something that very few people seem to want to address/admit these days: ORAL SEX IS SEX (hence the word “sex” in it). And although the article is focusing on the sexual activities of teenagers, I wish they would’ve just said that oral sex, period, leads to other forms of sex. Lord knows that a few grown folk need that cold shower—er, wake up call—as well.
Earlier this year, I wrote a devotional about how purity is the new virginity. I did it because you’d be amazed (or perhaps you wouldn’t) at the amount of virgins I know who are either on the giving or receiving (if not both) end of oral sex…and they believe it’s OK…because it’s not intercourse. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. You know how you guys like to Twitter “#FAIL” at something that gets the “thumbs down”? That’s how I feel when it comes to what a lot of churches have done when it comes to sexual education/preparation, or rather, lack thereof.
Amazing how much the Word speaks of us being made of flesh and spirit (John 6:63, Romans 8:1-9 & 12-13, Galatians 3:3 & 5:16-17 & 6:8, Ephesians 6:12) and yet still, even now, for many, the focus seems to *only* be on what the flesh-filled ramifications are when it comes to choosing to engage in sexual activity outside of marriage: “Don’t do it because you could get pregnant…or an STD…or (for the more radical saints) burn in hell.” What about if, by God’s mercy, you avoid all of that? As I often tell the girls that I mentor, is there a condom for your heart? Shoot, if there was, I certainly didn’t know anything about it (which explains the Spiritually Transmitted Diseases that I got in my kickin’ it days). Oh, how I wish we spent more time not focusing on “what we can get away with”, but what we stand to gain if we would not settle. And sex, outside of covenant, is settling.
Now don’t get it twisted. When I embarked on this abstinence journey of mine for the umpteeth time on January 9, 2007, I ain’t got no lies for you (James 5:16). Initially, I was one of those, “So long as I’m not penetrated, I’m cool” slicksters too. Satan is such a Liar. John 8:44 tells us so. He knows what happens when you are around “the tree” long enough. Of the forbidden fruit, you will partake. When will we realize that when the Word spoke of married people being “naked and not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24-25), being that it’s really hard to have oral sex with (all of) your clothes on, that also is reserved for a husband and wife? With sin comes shame. Sex outside of marriage, even when there’s the “o” word in front of it, is sinful.
Just last night, I was talking to a friend of mine about this very subject. “I don’t see how you can go without doing…something” was what they said. Bottomline, I look at my current sexual status as a really long fast (speaking of fasting, if you’re a single woman, stop by here and see if you want to join in). Have you ever fasted from food? Cheating with a cracker just makes you mad-der. I’d rather wait until I can have the whole meal. A tease doesn’t please. Especially when that tease is you.
Anyway, if you get a second, check the article out. The study says that within six months of oral, vaginal is soon to follow.
And how did the kiddie rhyme go? First comes love, then comes marriage…then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Hmph. Swap out “love” for “oral” and “marriage” for “intercourse” and voila!
If not a baby, heartbreak. If not heartbreak, embarrassment. If not embarrassment, spiritual brokenness.
Oral sex leads to sex. And then some.
Did I say a mouthful? Did the pun offend you? (LOL)
Let the action(s) bother you more.