So here’s the deal: When it comes to major breakthrougs in my life, it seems that they come in “3s’, “7s” and “10s”. Now, I know that some of you all may be “icky” about the word “magical”, and so I will go with “blessed”. These numbers are BLESSED to me.  Well, a little over three years ago, exactly one day after I ended a “four year break-up and two year breaking up” relationship with the last boyfriend I ever plan to have (I’m 35, which is too old for a “boy” anything), God planted a seed into me. It grew into about a 30-part series entitled, “Make Him Weak in the Knees (in Prayer)”.

While in prayer time last week, I began to revisit them. They are truly a Godsend. They are pretty atypical—uh, like the author—and they are lenghty (they are a study, not so much a blog), but if you are searching for answers re: sexual wholeness, courtship and God’s purpose for your life as it relates to both, it is my prayer, for both men and women, that this is spark a fire within as it relates to your own journey. You may not agree with all that is said, but is that ever the case? That’s fine. I just hope it will cause you to think, rethink, unthink and think again.  The intro is enclosed below and while this is geared towards the ladies (cause after all, I am one), fellas, don’t be shy. It gets good…even for you, if you stick with it.  Look for these every Monday and Thursday until I run out, OK? OK.
Here’s to a divine connection,

“Make Him Weak in the Knees (in Prayer)” Series: INTRO


“A foolish woman is clamorous; she is simple, and knows nothing.”—Proverbs 9:13

“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”—-Proverbs 11:22

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”—Proverbs 14:1

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.”—Proverbs 18:22

“Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”—Proverbs 19:13

“Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.”—Proverbs 21:19

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”—Proverbs 30:31

“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.”—Proverbs 31:10

“And I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and
nets, whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from
her, but the sinner shall be trapped by her.”—Ecclesiastes 7:26

“Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights
in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were
good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care
of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true
daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated. The
same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them,
delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the
new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as
equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be
sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all
of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm.
Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also
get a blessing.”—I Peter 3:4-12

Two days ago, I got an epiphany. I was talking to a female friend of
mine about men and relationships and just how far off base so many
women are when it comes to God’s intention and purpose for us when it
comes to dealing with men and relationships. I told her, “Shoot, we are
so focused on making them weak in the knees….we need to be making them
weak in the knees, in prayer, about how to get us!”

Have you ever said something that gave your own self chills? That’s
what this experience was like. After hanging up the phone, I thought to
myself, “Yeah, we should be making them weak in the knees in prayer”,
but how many of us know, and I mean really know that? If the way women
act on television, look in magazines, talk on their My Space profile
page, and consume themselves with getting a man in church are any
indication, I would say that the majority of us don’t. Not by a long

So (spiritually) full with awe and wonder about where God wanted to
take me with this new concept, immediately, I went to the Bible and
looked up scriptures supporting God’s wisdom and insight on the purpose
of a woman. Now, here’s the deal: While I think married women and
single (and married) men can definitely gain something from
this—especially since so many married women and single (and married)
men don’t seem to know much about a female’s relational purpose
either—-this is definitely for single women, first; mostly because I
am one.

One of my main motivators was a conversation that I had with a male
friend of mine a few days ago. I was speaking with him about his
evolving feelings for a “good girl” in his life. After listening to him
internally deliberate about what to do with his attraction to her vs.
his carnal desires I said, “You know what I think? I think that I feel
bad for you that your self-esteem is so low that you don’t see that you
deserve a good girl…that you would rather involve yourself with girls
who have reduced themselves to no more than glorified sluts.”

Now, I’m going to tell you right now that if the use of the word “slut”
has already gotten you into a tizzy, then you really need to keep
reading because the definition of the word is exactly what a lot of
women have reduced themselves to: “a woman considered sexually
promiscuous”; “a dirty untidy woman”; “a loose woman”, “an adulterer,
fornicatress, hussy, strumpet, strallop”. Sadly, we are so concerned
with not “hurting their feelings” or “coming across as judging” women
with this lifestyle that we are sugar-coating nastiness and filth and
it’s only making us all sick.

I will be the first to raise my hand in class if you asked, “How many
of you have acted like a slut at some point in your life?” because that
was a part of my past, no doubt. But it is time out for trying to
defend such a destructive epidemic. We are so worried about offending
this mentality that we have forgotten to be offended when it
infiltrates our minds, bodies and spirits. The truth is, a lifestyle of
sexual compromise is not only dangerous, it’s demonic. We were never
designed with the intentions of becoming desperate, scantily-clad,
sexually-immoral, mentally-unstable females who seem to be almost
obsessed with how to attract, get and keep a man in our lives. Since
the beginning of creation, we were created to be a support and a
blessing to men, yes, but with conditions for men in place and with a
certain order granted by our Creator and Heavenly Father, first.

So ladies, here we go. Over the course of, shoot, I don’t know—maybe
ten weeks or so, I will be addressing our purpose based on examples of
relationships in the Word. We are so concerned with what Beyonce and
Jay-Z, Janet and JD, Britney and Kevin, Angelina and Brad, Tom and
Katie, Mariah and…whomever are doing that we have lost sight of the
examples of women who have set a solidified standard of what a woman
should be and how she should carry herself in a relationship.

This series will give a shout out to the real in-style couples: Adam
and Eve, Sarah and Abraham, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Ruth
and Boaz, Elkanah and Hannah, Esther and King Xerses, Elizabeth and
Zacharias, Mary and Joseph and a few others along the way. They didn’t
always get it right (shout out to Sarah), but they did provide us with
lessons that can protect us and spare us from future unnecessary

It may feel a little rough from time to time but do know this: I know
that I know that God led me to do this series and that every set of
beautiful (and we are all beautiful) eyes that reads this deserves to
be reminded of her full and total value. In this same manner, every
man—especially single man—- who chooses to tough it out, I believe
will also be transformed on some levels as well. A part of the reason
why many of you are in so much disarray is because you are falling
under the same weakness as your “father”, Adam. The fact is that many
of us women are out of position and you are still, to this day, letting
us tempt you with our forbidden fruit and missing out on God’s perfect
will for your life.

I was just telling someone last night that I’m so sick of the Church
addressing men as if they are pathetic victims: “Ladies, put on some
clothes because you know men are weak in the flesh and we don’t want to
tempt them.” OK, are these the same men who were are supposed to be
submitting ourselves to? If they can’t control their hormones, how am I
supposed to entrust them with my life? No, I need to keep my clothes on
because my body should be no one’s business but mine and the man who
earns me; not because men don’t have the wisdom of understanding that
they were never called to be the weaker vessel; not because they are so
handicapped by society that they have lost their backbone to stand up
and wait for what God wants them to have—including their lifetime

It’s time for them to “man up” and take their rightful places back.
It’s time for them to stop being so hypocritical: expecting their
mothers, sisters and daughters to be treated with respect as they are
desecrating the temples of other men’s mothers, sisters and daughters.
It’s time for them to get into the physical, emotional, spiritual and
yes, even financial training that’s required to earn (obtained through
difficulty) one of God’s most precious creations— a woman. It’s time
for them to do what they were created to do: pursue. It’s time for them
to care enough about their own anatomy to refuse rolling up in some
chick simply because she offered up her goodies. It’s time for them to
have compassion rather than carnal compulsion for those females who
don’t yet understand that chasing a man gets you no where but farther
away from your purpose and God’s design. It’s time for them to stop
using MTV and BET to define their manhood. I’m gonna tell you
something, fellas: Just as most of you don’t want to marry a woman
who’s in a BET: Uncut video, evolved women don’t want to marry a man
who needs 20 chicks in thongs around him for him to feel validated.
Shoot, these days, if you can hold the attention of one woman—one
real woman—-for more than a month, I personally am impressed because
those kinds of women are looking for more than a cute face, nice
clothes and a clean car. If you can’t cover her, she doesn’t want you
uncovering her, either.

OK, I’m getting ahead of myself. I am just so thankful that God has
been merciful and gracious enough to get me to this place. A place of

….that Eve didn’t come onto the scene for Adam until provision was made and Adam prayed for her (Genesis 2:22)

…that when God gave Abraham a promise, it wasn’t Sarah’s job to jump in
to bring it to pass but to simply love and support him along the way
(Genesis 16:1-2)

…that if a man can’t pray and intercede on your behalf and if
protecting you is not his top priority like it was for Isaac when it
came to his wife, Rebekah, he’s not worth your time (Genesis 25:21,

…that when a man wants you like Jacob did Rachel, he will close to kill himself to have you (Genesis 29:20)

…that when you are a woman of loyalty and integrity like Ruth, it will
cause him to do the research necessary to approach you (Ruth 2:11-12)

…that when a man loves you like Elkanah loved Hannah, he will go out of his way to treat you in a special manner (I Samuel 1:4)

…that when a man likes you like King Xerses liked Esther, he will celebrate you (Esther 2:17-18)

….that when you are united to a man who serves and loves the Lord as Zacharias did, miracles take place (Luke 1:6, 13-16)

…that a real man like Joseph isn’t concerned with what people think but with what God wants (Matthew 1:19-24)

It has been a light bulb moment for me, but I’m finally getting it.
When my Father told me that I am above a ruby’s worth (Proverbs
31:10)—after doing some online research, let me break down for you
what that really means.

A ruby is:

The most valued gemstone—more valuable and rare than the highest quality of colorless diamond

One of the most durable minerals that exists, extremely tough (wow, right?)

Intense and attractive

Has an influence of value based on its clarity, cut and size and the
more transparent it is, the more value it has; a well-cut stone should
reflect light back evenly

Considered to decrease in value based on its amount of flaws and
imperfections; an intense heating up processfollowed bya time of
cooling off removes many of these flaws to restore its value

A gem that has lore and romance surrounding it; some even believe that it protects from misfortune

And here we are stressing over why guys won’t call or return our calls,
take us on dates that should be planned ahead of time, or treat us with
the respect that we deserve. The truth is, when we stop treating
ourselves like junk jewelry, so will they. One of the main differences
between a costume jewelry store and a fine jewelry store is placement.
When you carry yourself like an imitation, you will be treated like
one. Why spend a fortune of time, resources and effort on a counterfeit
ruby that you can get at Claire’s for five bucks? But when you act like
you are the most precious of all, men can’t help but step up to the
plate—save their money, invest their time, and focus their efforts on
earning you.

So ladies, do you know what your value is? If you don’t, the first
lesson in this series is to get to know who God says you are based on
the enclosed scriptures and the “ruby research” that I provided.

Your homework: Print the enclosed scriptures out and place them on your
bedroom or bathroom mirror. Every time you look at yourself, you should
be reminded that you are not simple, angry, contentious and lacking in
discretion, but instead you are a wise gift from God who fears the
Lord, has inner beauty and is loving, compassionate and gentle. You are
a woman whose worth more than the rarest of diamonds. You are a ruby
and obtaining a ruby takes great effort.

Effort that a real man is willing to put forth, so don’t stress it.
Just sit back and be the brilliant gem that you are. Gems don’t seek,
they are sought, remember? Right!

©Shellie R. Warren/2006