So…
I’ve been holding a particular article in my browser for several days now and I wasn’t quite sure why. Until today.
Last week, the Today Show did a featured entitled, “What Do You Want More: Sex or New Sandals?” According to a fairly recent (British) study, it’s the sandals (among women) that win out citing that, “women think about fashion 91 times a day, but only think about sex 20 times. ” Honestly, I would’ve liked the study to go a step further by asking the women, “So when you think about sex during those 20 times, what actually are you thinking about?” Especially since I have counseled a lot of wives who have had thoughts like: “I wish he’d stop touching me”, “If I never had to have sex again, I’b be fine” and “I’m so sick of having ‘porn sex’ with my husband.” Another newsflash fellas: MOST WOMEN DON’T ENJOY ACTUALLY ENGAGING IN THE KIND OF PORN THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WATCH. “Bang, bang, bang!” should be reserved for country westerns and *not* the marriage bed. Intimacy is the kind of sex that is appealing and “undefiled” means “pure”, remember? (Hebrews 13:4)
However, the reason why this all ties in so well today is because I just read another piece: “Braingasm: How Porn ‘Shuts Down’ Women’s Brains“. This little gem provided these insights:
“The researchers found that viewing pornography lead to a decrease in the amount of blood sent to the visual cortex, the part of the brain that processes visual stimuli. This is, of course, the exact opposite of what happens when we watch television or read a blog. Unlike with the blog or the TV show, the brain doesn’t take in all of the visual details of a sex scene, and the more explicit the video, the less blood is sent to the visual cortex. (Looks like there’s something to the “you’ll go blind” threat, afterall.)
The researchers surmised that the blood was diverted to regions of the brain involved in sexual arousal. “You have to realize that the brain wants to spare as much energy as possible, so if some part of the brain is not necessary at a high level of functioning, it immediately goes down,” uroneurologist Gert Holstege told LiveScience.
The conclusions of the study deepen Holstege’s claim that humans can either be turned on or afraid, but not both. “If you want to have sex, as a man, you need to produce a safe situation for the woman,” he says. If anxiety kills your sex drive, does it follow that orgasms can relieve anxiety? A few studies have hinted that they do, though again, primarily in women.”
It really does amaze me how much we, as humans, will esteem what another person says more than what the Most High (Genesis 14:19) instructs. Doesn’t Philippians 4:8 tell us to think of pure, virtuous and noble things? I guess we never thought that God, the Creator of sex, may have had copulation in mind when he said it. Hmph. He came up with the concept of *marital covenant* too, so I don’t see why not.
Personally, I can’t help but to wonder what a lot of marital sex situations would look like if women said, “Why don’t we read a book before trying to have sex? It’ll be a lot more *stimulating*.” (LOL) And as a single woman who used to watch quite a bit of porn back in the day, while personally, I think about sex more than shoes, I *totally* get the “brain shut down” thing. I continue to be amazed by how much porn can arouse you and then once “it’s” over, disgust, exhaustion and irritatation is what usually immediately follows. Kinda like sin, right?
Anyway, I just thought the studies were interesting. I do especially dig in the second article how Gert said that people cannot be turned or and afraid simultaneously. Husbands, you might want to go home and ask your wife, if the thought of having sex with you turns her on or freaks her out. Singles, if you’re hiding your porn/masturbation activities, that already implies a bit of fear, don’t you think? Some reprogramming (so that you don’t have to do a lot of detoxing when you *do* get married) may need to take place. After all, according to the Word, *fear involves torment* (I John 4:18). Sex nor sexual activity should torment anyone.
Hmph. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why so many people claim to feel so alone even in the midst of engaging porn. God wanted sex to be a mind/body/spirit kind of experience. According to this study, porn robs people of that. Steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). There are so many ways to do it.
OK, I’m out. As always, share your thoughts. I look forward to it.