Y’all know I like to do my research and actually, this week, I won’t be before you (super) long. I just wanted to share a term that, personally, I was not familiar with…although some of you may be: POSTCOITAL DYSPHORIA. A free hotel night to the first single person *once they get married* if they can tell me what *that* is without looking it up first (LOL). According to LiveScience, it’s an immediate sadness that comes over women (just women?!?) after engaging in sexual intercourse. And, according to a study, 1 in 3 women experience this.
Here’s an excerpt from the article:
“Under normal circumstances, the resolution phase of sexual activity, or period just after sex, elicits sensations of well-being, along with psychological and physical relaxation,” study author Robert Schweitzer of the Queensland Institute of Technology said in a statement. “However, individuals who experience postcoital dysphoria [sadness] may express their immediate feelings after sexual intercourse in terms of melancholy, tearfulness, anxiety, irritability or feeling of restlessness.”
Hmph. I was just telling a girlfriend of mine over the weekend that I have a new motto: “If we don’t share the bills, we don’t share a bed.” Cause here’s the thing. *Another thing* that I was telling her was that I wonder why so many people say that they *slept with* a guy (or girl) when more times than not, it’s more like they *cat napped* with him/her (LOL). Single sex doesn’t have the same kind of commitment that covenant sex does (Hebrews 13:4). How could it? *Why should it?*And *that* can be long-term distressing enough.
That’s one of the reasons why I’m pretty adamant about not entertaining when people say, “My boyfriend (or girlfriend) cheated on me.” Give me a break. If *anyone* cheated on someone, we cheat on God when we *fornicate*. Can someone *lie* to you? Yes. But cheating implys adultery…the breaking of covenant vows. That doesn’t just involve someone and the person they are *dating*. Adonai is in on covenants too (Matthew 19:6). Take it from me, it’s a *big deceit set-up* (Matthew 24:4) to take on the mentality of “I’m not ready for marriage so let’s play house. I won’t be faithful to God and his Word, but I want you to be faithful to me” and then be shocked when the Barbie dollhouse crumbles. Unless the Lord builds the house, we really do labor in vain (Psalm 127:1).
As I read the study in its entirety, I thought about my own sexual past and couldn’t help but wonder why the author of the study didn’t ask some of the “duh” questions. Maybe those women are melancholy because they have to drive back to their house at 4 in the morning. Maybe they’re anxious because they know they didn’t use protection and they didn’t request an STD test result on the front end. Maybe they’re restless because they’re the Sabbath or Sunday school youth leader and they’re telling the kids that they mentor that they are still abstinent. Or virgins.
Or maybe…just maybe, the Bible has proven itself to be victorious…*once again*:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”—I Corinthians 6:16-20 (Message)
Either way, I’m sure when the Lord was handing out the yahasey min (Hebrew for “sexual relations”) instructions (Genesis 2:24-25), the side-effects were to be satisfaction and joy NOT…um, Postcoital Dysphoria. And, 1 outta 3 ain’t the best betting odds, anyway (I’m willing to bet another 1 of those 3 is crazy stalker chick…or dude-LOL). Stick to whatcha know.
Wait for PostCoital Bliss. Rather than what this is really boiling down to: REGRET.
Which is what the Word already told you would be the case. Way before some scientific study.