Here we are with an excerpt from Chapter 2: “Sex: In and Out of Purpose”. Each chapter opens up with a poem, or a prose, or a comment from someone I know…or letter from a xxxchurch.com reader. To be honest, when you get the book (and you are going to get the book, right?!?), you’ll see that I really could’ve just enclosed the “praise report of waiting until marriage” vs. the “what did I do to myself?!?” letter from a reader for this blog. Truly, God is not the author of confusion…and sin causes A LOT of it. But, I decided to use this part instead. Something tells me it just might intercept some plans this weekend (wink). Here’s to hopin’…and prayin’:
Sex: In and Out of Purpose…Pg. 38
Not too long ago I watched a movie on Lifetime about women and sexual addiction. (I don’t know why Lifetime is called “Television for Women” when most of the characters in their films appear to be, uh, psycho.) Surprisingly, this movie
was actually pretty good. When the main character finally went in for treatment after sleeping with hundreds of men, her counselor told her that sexual addiction was a form of self-loathing. According to the therapist, sex addicts hate doing
it—the kind of sex that includes random partners for random reasons, not the sex act itself. And because of how doing it makes them feel, even if it is just a temporary fix, it helps them escape the guilt and selfcondemnation. And the cycle continues.
You’re not an addict, right? You can count the number of partners you’ve had on less than two hands. All of the guys you’ve been with had the title of boyfriend. Shoot, you may even be a virgin who doesn’t do that . . . just the other
stuff. Yeah, I hear you, and all I have to say to that is, if you are engaging in sex, any kind of sex, outside of God’s will for your life, I wouldn’t be so sure about labeling yourself a virgin.
I recall a famous television therapist saying that an “addiction” is anything that takes us away from our normal way of life. John 10:10 says that Christ came so that we could live life in abundance. Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages of sin is death. First Corinthians 6:9–10 assures us that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. Do you know who’s included on that “righteous-less” list? Fornica-
tors, adulterers, and homosexuals (v. 10). Are you willing to risk an abundant life on earth and eternal life in heaven just to “get some”? If the answer is yes—and it’s not just your words but your actions on this earth that will determine that—then an addict is exactly what you are. You are willing to risk your
eternal life for a quick fix.
Unfortunately, so many of us are using sex to . . . well, let’s stop right there for just a moment because that is a message in itself. So many of us are using sex. We are not (just) enjoying sex, we’re using it to make us feel good about
ourselves. We are using it as a distraction from the inner and external issues in our daily life. We are using it to get or “keep” a man (heads-up: sex will not keep a man. I’ve tried numerous times!). But that’s just it. In God’s perfect design,
sex was never meant to be used in an abusive sense. It is to be embraced, celebrated, shared between two committed, covenant partners. A husband and a wife.
When we do what we want, when we want, without going to God about why he wanted us to do or not do something, we find ourselves in a compromised state at best, and at worst, a very dangerous one. The reason sex exists is to bring a
husband and wife together as one mind, one body, and one spirit.
The second purpose of sex is to replenish the Earth through this act (Gen. 1:28). And because it was an instruction given to mankind in the Garden, I will go one step further by saying that the third purpose of sex—which, when you really
think about it is probably the first—is to honor and worship God. God told us how we should have sex, and any time that we follow his instruction, it is an act of obedience to him. First Samuel 15:22 tells us that it is better to obey than to
Have sex within covenant? You are being obedient.
Have sex outside of it? Yes, one way or another, you will have to pay a sacrifice.