In doing some research for a blog for single women that God and I created, I kept reading a similar theme: *signs that you’re not ready for a relationship/marriage*. I found this one to be particularly insightful: “12 Signs You’re Not Ready for Marriage“. Here was the list:
You’re More Concerned with the Wedding Than the Marriage
The Trust Isn’t There Yet
You Can’t See Yourself Parenting Their Child
You Haven’t Been Dating for Long
Your Vitals Aren’t Strong
You’re Not Ready for Compromise
You’re Being Pressured
You Don’t Speak Their Love Language
You’re Not Sexually Attracted to Each Other
You’re Battling Addiction or Mental Health Issues
You’re Investing More Than You Can Afford to Lose
Your Mind Still Wanders
The ones that I underlined *particularly apply* to a lot of the single women that I find myself talking to on this site who are either in relationships with guys who enjoy porn or they enjoy porn themselves and yet there are still, at least trying to, make the relationship work/last/move forward. When it comes to choosing someone to be *your covering*, in deciding to make a *life long partnership* with another individual, do you see how *especially* those five underlined issues are potential problems? *Even while dating* (which should basically be like “marriage interviewing”)?
And because sex is *supposed to be* a big part of marriage (eh hem, married people-I Corinthians 7:5), I found another tidbit to be particularly revelatory too. The title was a bit abrasive, so I’ll leave that out, but it was basically a *highly promiscuous* (and seemingly and sadly proud of it) woman’s advice on relationships. But hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day, right:
“Horny isn’t sexy because it turns the encounter into sex (and sex only) instead of the chase, conquest, tease and flirt that it warrants.”
HORNY ISN’T SEXY. Hmph. Maybe I can get Craig to make some shirts that say that (LOL). But I get it. When you try and make mature decisions based on sexual arousal, very rarely can you trust your judgment. And yet, you have *no idea* how many couples I counsel who had sex while dating, are married now and hardly ever had sex because they confused being horny with actually being in love. Dessert before dinner can ruin an appetite.
So, in processing all of this, the question is simple. When you think about the relationship the last relationship you had, the one you’re in or the one that you’d like to have in the future, what are the things that will keep you from trying to keep a relationship going? What are what you consider to be blaring red flags?
In other words, *Ladies, what are your deal breakers*?
And because there are quite a few guys who hang out on this side of the blog, what are yours and do you think the ones that women have are fair/realistic?