Here’s a pretty icky thought but a HUGE light bulb moment.  A couple of nights ago, I was thinking about sex, fornication, abstinence and the consequences that come with it all as it relates to single living.  I mean, while I know that going without is what God requires of me (Ephesians 5:3), oftentimes my inquisitive mind wants reasons other than “because it’s for married folks” or “because I said so”.

This is why I love scriptures like, “‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’” (Jeremiah 33:3) and “Come let us reason together“. (Isaiah 1:18)  Contrary to some people’s twisted belief system, God loves dialoguing with his children and when you ask, he will answer.  Maybe not at the time you would wish or in the way you would like, but he will answer nonetheless.

Anyway, as I was praying about receiving another reason to hang in this “going without game”, God took me to the following two scriptures:

“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the
contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may
inherit a blessing.”—I Peter 3:8-9 (NKJV)


“So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will
not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to
use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and
intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and
exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the
soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved
in the glory and praise of God.”—Philippians 1:9-11 (Message)

OK.  What is it that we believers tend to call one another?  Brothers and sisters, right?  Now, let’s take it out of the spiritual sense for just a moment.  When someone sleeps with their sibling, what is that called?  Incest.  Going deeper, what is one of the biggest problems that comes with sleeping with someone close to you in your gene pool?  Serious, life-damaging health risks for what is potentially birthed from the union; one of the issues being congenital defects—HEART ISSUES.

Hmph.  Now let’s go back to the spiritual side of things.  I wonder how many of us have taken the time to think of fornication in this way.  If God wants us to consider one another as brothers and sisters in Christ, then it would appear that not only does marriage give people the right and blessing to have sex with one another (I Corinthians 7:3-4), but it also performs the miracle of turning two believers from “brother and sister” into “husband and wife”. (Mark 10:7-9)

Let’s take it a bit deeper.  If a brother and sister sleeping together in the physical sense is known to put them at risk for serious psychological issues and their children in harm’s way for (at the very least), heart problems (that’s so deep to me!), no wonder so many of us suffer the way that we do when we engage in pre-marital sex.

Let me put it another way.  As I was sharing this revelation with a friend of mine last Friday, I said, “What happens when two people have a child due to incest?”  He said, “They have retarded children.”  My response?  “Then what do you think happens when two people have sex outside of wedlock?”  He said, “They create retarded spirits.”


And how do we know this to be true?  Because James 1:14-16 (NKJV) tells us so:

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.”

Some of us right now are suffering because of the “retarded spirits” that we created as a direct result of the “spiritual incest” that we’ve committed.  When something is retarded, it’s “delayed”; “impeded”; mental and emotional development slows down, and progress is delayed.  A powerful synonym for “retarded” is “backward” with the understanding of “having only a limited ability to learn and understand.”

You’ve been sleeping with a guy (or gal) who won’t commit.  You have created a retarded spirit.

You rely on “casual sex” to make you feel better about yourself, but you realize in the long run that it only makes you feel worse.  You have created a retarded spirit.

You had sex with one of your best friends and now you can’t stand each other, but you can’t put your finger on why.  You have created a retarded spirit.

Yuck.  Double yuck.  (I know, right?)

Now, because I am made up of flesh and spirit (Galatians 5:17), the physical side of me must admit that this newfound revelation may not 100% cure me of the desire to not want to wait until my “miracle marriage”. (The flesh cares about acts, not consequences.)  After all, while the spirit is willing, the flesh is indeed weak (Mark 14:38). BUT when it comes to the spirit realm, I now see why God finds the act of fornication to be so grotesque.  I also understand why there are very few LONG LASTING success stories that comes from engaging in it (and even the ones that do, they almost always have “retarded spirits” to deal with) and why when we walk in the Spirit, we do not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16).

I mean, really.  In the physical sense, when was the last time you were “weak in the knees” for your big sister or little brother?  Now apply that same reaction to your spiritual family.  Sleeping with your brother and sister in Christ?  Suddenly, that seems just as disgusting, doesn’t it?

Yeah, talk about gettin’ a good enough reason to hold out.  It doesn’t get any better (or worse) than incest.

A good father doesn’t want his children sleeping together—physically or spiritually.

Yeah, God.  I hear you.  LOUD AND CLEAR.  Thanks for answering.