“You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your wife.”–Steve Arterburn


Ephesians 5:31 says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…”   

When those of us who desire marriage imagine walking down the aisle, I think it’s a forgone conclusion (for most of us at least) that this man or woman is the last person you will be intimate with for the rest of your life. It seems easy enough in the beginning. You are completely in love, excited about the future, and hopeful that there isn’t anything you and your partner can’t overcome. The idea of an affair, emotional or physical, is the last thing on your minds.  
Fast forward a few years down the road, when reality has taken over. There are babies now. Someone’s lost a job or a job has become more demanding. Health issues. Financial strains. Family responsibilities. Arguments…insert drama here.These are the situations that make or break a marriage. In times like these, it’s easy to get caught up in the everyday stress of living and begin to see your husband/wife less and less in an “intimate” way.  The sex dwindles down to nothing and before you know it, you can’t remember the last time you touched. Your normally strong resistance is compromised and temptations in the form of porn or the cute concerned guy/girl come in.  In the moment, these things seem easy and carefree.  You have no obligation or responsibility to them, right?  What’s the harm?  Here is where things can go horribly wrong.

I believe this is when you have to fight and focus. Now, I’m speaking to you as someone who has only been married for three years but oh what a three years it has been. My husband and I have faced and weathered quite a few storms in a short time and because of love, our commitment to each other, and God’s grace, we’re closer than ever. However, there have been moments when “outside influences” or old single life “bad habits” have swooped in to test us. These are the moments I can proudly say that my husband and I clung tighter to each other, literally and figuratively.  

You can’t let anyone else get closer to you than your spouse. The moment you find yourself gravitating toward another person/thing, you’ve got make a sharp turn and keep your spouse first, in every way. The Bible says, “Husbands nourish and cherish your wives as Christ does the church…Wives love and respect your husband as you do Christ.”  (Ephesians 5:25-29).  

It seems really simple but it’s so true. When you feel the farthest away from each other, that’s the time to keep your marriage pure and turn to each other…this is what God intended.