There’s a saying that I tend to incorporate more and more in my life. I found myself saying it to someone one day and was like, “Ooo…yeah!” It was this: “Don’t allow your loopholes to become your noose.” Don’t ask me where it came from. I’m gonna go with the Holy Spirit! (LOL) I thought about this as I read two *vastly different* articles with the *exact same* phrase in the title: HOOK UP.
One was by this cool chick that I used to dialogue with when I was in Facebook world. Her name is Christine Pembleton. Her narrative is entitled, “How to Be Hook-Up Material” and her focus was how to put yourself, with the help of your friends, into the position to get into a long-term relationship.
OK, but the other one? Well last week, I happened upon this junk jewelry gem: “For College Women, Dating Could Be Worse Than Hooking Up”. I personally found this part (linked from another site) to be especially…interesting:
“The students explained the first part of the scenario (the hookup) based largely on mutual desire and alcohol consumption (which they assumed would be present at the party – despite no mention of alcohol in the scenario). One interesting finding here is that the students saw both the man and the woman as actively desiring sexual pleasure in the context of the hookup – and said that the hookup could be mutually desired and beneficial for the man and the woman…Students also indicated that if the woman wasn’t expecting to see the man again after the hookup, she could be even freer to act on her desires and enjoy herself because she did not have to fear being judged for her actions.”
First point? So, how many of these people are down for *this kind of hook up* while they’re (eh hem) sober? And two, how do these people, *especially the women*, feel about the hook up…after? As someone who, in my past life (2 Corinthians 5:17), had quite a few hooks ups (although they weren’t really “club dates”; more like undefined and toxic friendships), I’ll tell you one thing that these ladies may not be considering: if you never learn how to date (personally, I prefer courting), you won’t know what you deserve and you’ll miss the revelation that an older loved one in my space used to say, “You’re sitting on a million dollars and giving it away for a Happy Meal”. Personally, I think hooking up hangs you up because, as it says in I Corinthians 6:16-18(Message): “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’” Chasing the “high” usually ends up leaving you very low. After. Shoot, if not during.
I know it’s not praised much these days, but one of the beautiful things about sexual intimacy between humans is that there can, should and is supposed to be love and commitment involved. To be at the point where so many people prefer having sex rather than a relationship and then sex…I’m just curious: what makes that more than half-a-step up from two dogs in heat? Having sex on instinct? And when you take it *that far*, we are told to not give what is holy to the dogs (Matthew 7:6) and yes, it may not be told or taught as much as it should be, but we are holy. The Holy Spirit dwells within us (I Corinthians 6:19).
Hooking up isn’t *better* than dating. It’s *easier*. There’s a *really big difference* between the two. As I heard while watching a throwback episode of “Melrose Place” (the original) some time ago: “Easy has its reciprocations.”
Ladies, you deserve someone who is going to invest himself. His time. His effort. His energy. Long term. Into you. Mind, body and spirit.
Don’t get hung up on how the world does things.
It’ll hang you. Every time.
Yeah. They should do a follow-up on those students in about 10 years or so.