I don’t know about you, but personally, I find it to be pretty fascinating that when Scripture is quoted, people tend to want to debate it (Colossians 2:8).
For instance, when the Word says “Flee sexual immorality” (I Corinthians 6:18 NKJV), there tends to be great debates about what actually constitutes sexual immorality.
Or when Malachi 2:15 speaks of the importance of husbands and wives birthing babies and then raising them to be true to God, people want to talk about how it doesn’t affect a child to be raised in a single parent home (you can actually read a ton of statistics that speak of the many challenges a child has without having one of their parents on a constant basis, by the way).
And while I personally believe the Word does stand for itself, I am always thankful when someone is able to voice many of its resolves in a “parable” kind of way. Such is the case with an article that I read in Huffington Post recently entitled “Why Your Daughter Wants to Be a Porn Star”. It was written by Jennifer Ketcham, a former porn actress who is currently getting her Master’s in Social Work. Here are excerpts of her conclusions. If you are a parent, you might want to take notes, because this has more to do with you than you may wish to admit. In fact, these are the reasons why your daughter wants to be a porn star. (Just in case you’re wondering, I fit numbers 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 and 10. And I loved Disney movies).
1. Because you loved her enough, but you didn’t love her right. You weren’t attuned to your daughter’s emotional state as a child, and now, she has difficulty connecting intimately with other human beings.
2. Because you were her friend, and not her parent (Hello Baby Boomers!). You never set solid parental boundaries, and you failed to teach her about her right to have her personal boundaries respected.
3. Because you got divorced, and it was ugly. I don’t even need to discuss the damaging effects of a nasty divorce because these statistics are known. However, if you still think it’s cool to get divorced and drag your kids through the mud because children are resilient, or won’t notice how poorly you two treat one another, think again.
4. Because you raped, beat, or neglected her. Or someone close to you did. Though plenty of women who were abused as children do not go into porn, many women who have been abused (physically, emotionally or sexually) do participate in sexual risk taking behaviors.
7. Because you gave her a smartphone when she was 10, and now she takes awesome #selfies all day. With every picture she takes to post to her social media sites, she becomes less sensitive to the idea of her images floating around on the web.
8. Because her friends want to be porn stars, Playboy models, the Bachelorette or any other exaggerated and hyper-sexualized version of a real woman, and you aren’t close to her friends. When a child has excessive contact with her peers and loses touch with safe adult attachments, the likelihood increases that she will become an addict, as mentioned in addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Maté’s recent book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.
9. Because you never showed her a healthy way to fill the spiritual void that is quintessentially human. Isn’t it interesting that girls leave porn because they’ve found religion? It happens every day, even to girls who were considered to be “the world’s hottest porn star.” Money, sexual exploration, and false adoration didn’t provide personal fulfillment like spirituality did.
10. Because you did the best you could to raise her right… but it wasn’t enough.
There’s not much more to say than that, is there? (There really isn’t.)
So, the next time you look at a porn actress, ask the Lord to bring this list to your remembrance. And the next time you look at your daughter (or niece or grandchild or someone you mentor), do some quick assessing.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Porn actresses aren’t made overnight (or by themselves) either.