So, I was teaching a class recently and talking to an unmarried couple where the woman (mid-30s) is about to have her first child with a man (late 40s) is about to have his seventh with her. As we were discussing the circumstances that led them to their current state, it was…let’s use the word, intriguing, how the man didn’t think that he had any kind of sexual control issue. And when I asked the woman if she did, she wasn’t really sure.
So, I posed this (and yes, I’m posing this to some of you bible critics out there as well):
“It seems that people spend a lot of time trying to disprove what the Word, which is God (John 1:1), says about the original and ordained order of sex (Hebrews 13:4 pretty much sums it up) and yet, what would the world be like if everyone had waited until marriage to have sex and then married their spouse at the right time and for the right reasons? (You’d be amazed how many people knew *on their wedding day*, that they should cancel their nuptials.) How fewer problems would we have physically, emotionally and relationally?”
The man wasn’t totally convinced that it would cut the drama down *significantly*, but I could see the wheels turning in his head. And then I had a follow-up:
“And being that there is so much science out here that would prevent unplanned pregnancies, why is it that so many people would risk, not just a pregnancy before they are ready, but a potential illness, etc. by engaging in unprotected sex, even if they don’t believe in waiting until marriage, anyway?”
Again, he had no answer, but he did look at me with a smirk. I simply replied with, “Cause obviously, you’re not a big fan of condoms, right?”
And then I thought about my own sexual past. I make it no secret that it took *a lot of blood, sweat and tears*, LITERALLY, to get me to five years without sexual intercourse. I also make it no secret that in my sexual history, there are four abortions and a bout with chylamydia that’s a part of it. Yep, I too wasn’t the biggest condom fan (SMH), but it was after my session that I wanted to do some research as to why. As a woman, I wanted to know if there was a real connection between putting my life at risk (because that’s what you’re basically doing, these days, more than ever) and the sexual act itself. Yes, I know that there is one in the spirit realm (I Corinthians 6:16), but what about the physical one?
If you Google “sex health benefits”, you’ll find many. It eases depressions, relieves stress, boosts cardio, heals wounds and fights aging. And yes, before y’all start, I’m sure some of you are like, “Right. So why be abstinent whether married or single?” Well, I’ll leave it at this: Driving has a lot of benefits too. If you do it before you’re mature enough, if you do it *without a license*, it can cause some problems up the road. Y’all know that I believe in the Word and it says that sex is for married folks. Feel free to share your opposing views, but I’m personally not gonna debate that anymore (Colossians 2:8).
Then I went to look up the health benefits as it directly relates to semen. I mean, the health reports are showing us that consequences that are happening as a direct result of people partaking in activities that directly expose us to it, so what gives? Again, on one side, there are reported cases that it serves as an antidepressant and that the seminal plasma in it even fights certain kinds of cancer. Also, it lowers the risk of pregnant women developing preeclampsia.
And then…there was the other side of the coin:
*Semen contains proteins with potent bactericidal activity but these proteins are not active against Neisseria gonorrhoeae, a common cause of sexually transmitted disease.
*The presence of blood in semen or hematospermia may be undetectable (it only can be seen microscopically) or visible in the fluid. Its cause could be the result of inflammation, infection, blockage, or injury of the male reproductive tract or a problem within the urethra, testicles, epididymis or prostate.
AND THEN THERE’S THIS:
*It is thought that the psychological effects of semen are a result of its complex chemical make-up including several mood-altering hormones (testosterone, oestrogen, follicle-stimulating hormone, luteinizing hormone, prolactin and several different prostaglandins). In a scientific survey of 293 college women it was also found that those who did not use condoms were most likely to initiate sex and to seek out new partners as soon as a relationship ended, suggesting that the chemical dependency to semen creates a “rebound effect”. The effect of semen on a male sexual partner (a receiver of semen) is not known.
In the Church, especially when it comes to the emotional connection, this is oftentimes referred to as a soul tie. Oh, but isn’t it interesting that there’s actual scientific data to support the fact that many women may remain in relationships that aren’t best or wise for them because they are literally dependent upon the person that they are having sex with? That they go from person to person because of the chemical(s) in the semen that makes them feel like they need it in order to feel, on a bad day, good and on an OK day, better? That some of us may be so caught up in semen’s “rebound effect” that we don’t even think about the other dire consequences that come along with such a risk?
I dunno, y’all. When you read articles like, “Why Young Women Keep Making Striptease Videos, and Why Guys Keep Sharing Them” and discover that over 71% of teens are using webcams in their bedrooms, when you know that books like Dirty Little Secrets: Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity needed to be penned, is it just me or does sexual addiction need to be taken a little more literally than we initially thought *even among women*? That both inside and outside of the Church, the “safe sex” message needs to be approached from a more *literal* standpoint?
Church folks used to sing, “There’s power in the blood.” They were referring to Christ and that’s always a positive kind of power.
On a totally different plane, there’s power (and human blood) in semen too. And it seems to be *overpowering* a lot of us.
In more ways than one. And not always for the good. There are plenty of stats surrounding unplanned pregnancies, abortions, STDs, promiscuity and brokenheartedness to prove it.