SPECIAL NOTE: Boy, oh, boy.  You all have me working overtime lately!  I try to
answer most questions as a “comment”, but some of these are just too
good to not put on a more public forum.  That said, you might want to
check the archives from time to time if you are someone who submitted a
question.  The blog is set up to where it only posts my latest entry, but I have been
doubling up quite a bit and I would hate for you to miss anything or to
think that I overlooked you.

Q: I’m pretty sure it’s a sin for a someone to be thinking about anyone
else other than their spouse during procreation. Where in scripture does
it say that all we have to believe is in scripture?

A: As it relates to your question, mongeyman, I think you are asking if it’s a sin to think about someone other than your spouse when you are having sex, right?  (Because sex doesn’t always lead to procreation.)

What you asked for was scripture to support what it appears that your conscience (i.e., the Holy Spirit) is already telling you.  I actually admire that because so many times we will pass on information without any biblical support.  Well, here is the most obvious biblical verse:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You must not be guilty of adultery.’ But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman and wants to sin
sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the
. If your right eye
causes you to sin, take it out and throw it away. It is better to lose
one part of your body than to have your whole body thrown into hell.”—Matthew 5:27-29 (NCV)

Something that I am a HUGE FAN of is going beyond the symptom of an issue to the root of the “disease”.  Marital sex is meant to bring two closer together through the medium of physical intimacy.  However, sometimes we are so focused on the physical side of act that we miss that our mind and soul is involved; that it is a spiritual experience as well.  Would it be a “sin” to have another person in the bed while engaging your spouse?  If you believe that to be the case, then why would it not be equally as offensive to bring someone else in the bed mentally or emotionally?  How would that not make it less of a spiritual experience than it was created to be?

But let’s get away from the “sin stuff” for a moment.  How would you feel if your spouse suggested bringing someone else into the bed…in any way? If you said you wouldn’t mind, then maybe it’s time to really reevaluate the purpose of sex.  There have been a few marital sex questions that have come up as of late.  One of the things I recently told someone is that it’s a good idea to remember that in sex, godly sex, God is a part of it. Matthew 18:20 tells us that where two or more are gathered in God’s name (I believe marriage applies, here), God is in the midst; Matthew 19:6 says what God has joined together, let no man separate, and I Corinthians 6:19 reminds us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit.

God made sex (something a lot of us also tend to forget).  There are certain parts on the body, especially a woman’s body, that seem to have no other function than to bring about physical pleasure and so I fully believe that God wants couples to enjoy sex with one another.  From the research I’ve done, grace and the freedom from legalism applies to EVERY AREA of a Christian’s life.  BUT remember:

“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”—Galatians 6:8 (NKJV)


“I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him.”—Ecclesiastes 3:14 (NKJV)

Next time you are about to partake in such a wonderful, pleasurable, SPIRITUAL experience, with whatever it is you are about to do (or think about), ask yourself, “Am I sowing what will reap corruption or everlasting life?”  And then remember, that marriage is a God-instituted union that was designed to last forever.  Sow seeds, even in your bedroom that will bring forth life, not death.  Adultery, of any form, sows to the flesh.  The Bible says what that brings.  Proceed with caution.  Sex is a beautiful thing, but it is also a very powerful one.