In doing some of my internet (re)searching today, I happened upon two articles that kind of worked hand-in-hand (at least they did to me). One was talking about something that I have been joking about (although there usually is some truth in all humor) with some of my friends for awhile now: that I need to throw my own shower!
At almost 38 (my birthday is Father’s Day and I *love* lip gloss and sterling silver jewelry, by the way!-LOL), you have *no idea* how many weddings, showers, “love” nieces and nephews parties, graduations, anniversaries…*stuff* that I am financially asked to invest in. Yet, for some reason, while you’re single, people barely remember your birthday and technically that’s the only occasion when gifts seem to be, let’s just say, appropriate. Sadly, no one looks at the single person and says, “You know what? We should get you a gift just because.” No, in our world, it’s more like, “Happy Birthday…so anyway, my son is graduating from high school and…”
And maybe that’s a part of the reason why people are going to lengths like marrying themselves. Yes, *literally*. Here is an excerpt from “Is Self-Marriage for You?“:
Jennifer Hoes just celebrated her ninth wedding anniversary — to herself.
On her 30th birthday in 2003, the Dutch woman had a self-wedding, complete with cameras. While it would be premature to call it a trend, several people since then have taken the vows of self-marriage as a way of contractually binding themselves to matrimonial values.
Anderson Cooper’s talk show recently featured a woman who had wed herself, and even took herself out on dates. “I started discovering that the love I need, it’s in here,” Nadine Schweigert said, pointing to her heart.
She had a ceremony, she had vows, she had the whole nine because “I wanted to share that with people … it’s a form of accountability,” the 36-year-old South Dakota divorcee said.
For others, self-marriage is about working on ones’ self in the context of a relationship.
“I find it very hard to have to disappoint people for example, which can lead to being unfaithful to them and yourself,” said Hoes, an artist whose wedding in Haarlem, The Netherlands, made headlines nine years ago.
“My motto at the time of my wedding was, ‘Life is a matter of shaping it.’ (In Dutch, the word for shaping and design is the same). And the subscript said ‘and try not to change what cannot be changed’,” Hoes said, adding that she wears her wedding ring daily.
Two years ago, Chen Wei-yih married herself in a small ceremony attended by 30 friends and family. The Taiwanese woman wore a white gown, carried a huge bouquet and broadcast it on Facebook.
“When I look back at my wedding, at the self-commitment now, I feel it is a thing to remind me that I should not betray myself in any way and any time,” Chen Wei-yih, who goes by Only, told HLN.
It’s even at a point where some people are (what?!?) divorcing themselves. I mean, I’m all down with the mentality that you truly can’t love your neighbor until you learn how to *appropriately* love God first and yourself second (Matthew 22:37-40), but are so many singles at a point where they have to take it to this extent?
As I was internally questioning all of this, I saw another article entitled, “Ten Very Good Reasons You Aren’t Married Yet“:
1. You are focused on your career.
2. You have standards.
3. You can’t afford it.
4. You are waiting until all people can get married.
5. You don’t need or want a symbolic public ceremony to celebrate something you already have.
6. You’ve got a life and friends that you are happy with.
7. Monogamy just doesn’t work for you.
8. You are sexually liberated.
9. You have “issues.”
10. You legitimately just don’t want to get married.
OK, y’all know that I *always* have an opinion, but I’ll reserve mine until I see some of yours. With that said, with this posting, my two questions are these:
1) Being that more and more, we’re going off of the Bible grid when it comes to *the original purpose for marital covenant* (Genesis 2:18-25), what do you think about self-marriage? What do you think God thinks about people who attempt it? (And yes, feel free to share your views on having “sex with yourself” as well.)
2) Personally, I’m dying to know how many people would still feel like they’re not ready for marriage if *they could only get sex if they were married* (seemingly a lot of people are ready for the benefits of marriage without the responsibility-Hebrews 13:4), but that’s not what my question is about. When you look at the list above, do you believe those reasons are why so many singles are getting married later and later and less and less? If so or if not, what are some *healthy* reasons for remaining single and what are some *unhealthy* ones?
Looking forward to hearing your feedback.
You know the drill…sound off…