Maybe I just need to chalk this up to God’s covering during my promiscuous years, but if one of y’all can explain to me the fascination with sex toys, I’d certainly appreciate it.
Kinda. Let me explain.
In the past seven days alone, I have read quite a bit about the Northwestern University professor who <insert big sigh here> had an engaged couple provide a hands-on demonstration of a certain device in front of his human sexuality class. Honestly, I don’t know what throws me more: 1) that a couple was willing to share such a private moment of sexual pleasure in front of a group of students; 2) that the “toy” is called what it is (I’ll let y’all Google that…it’s a bit buck even for *us* on this site!) OR 3) that according to an article that I read just now, it’s currently sold-out.
It’s sold-out? Or is it a *sell-out*?
And then, because I’m a researcher, I went to see how it was both utilized and described. Again, is it just me or does, “You hold it like a gun and drill into…” sound just a wee bit…*violent* for starters. Aside from my blogger/speaker gig here with the X3Church.com team, another thing that I do is counsel people on relationships. More specifically, *relational brokenness*. You have *no idea* how many women write/call/cry in to tell me that they are sick and tired, literally, of their husbands (and yes, some simply say “partners”) having sex *at them* rather than *with them*. Using them rather than engaging them. Indeed, the Word says that one of the *main purposes* of sex is *oneness* (Genesis 2:24-25) and yet, the sharing of the mind/body/spirit with one’s covenant partner seems to be more and more…man…almost…*taboo*. I mean, use an electrical tool (and don’t even get me started on how…risky *that* sounds) that has a part that looks like the real thing…only it’s not…to do what the real thing was initially created to do in the first place? And if that’s not *enough*, you have to *buy it?!?*
Hmph. More like pay for it.
Then I read some of the commentary re: the human sexuality class. Someone went on to say that since the woman was *only* (?!?) unclothed from the waist down and the demonstration *only* (?!?) took three minutes that all-in-all it was (what?!?) basically the equivalent of an R-rated film or a (double what?!?) art class.
WOW. Just WOW.
So this is where sex is now, huh? SMH. The foolishness of the world (I Corinthians 3:18-20).
Yeah. I know. Some of y’all are pretty fiesty and so I won’t be surprised if you’re going to provide me with some commentary on the benefits of sex toys. Hmph. For some reason, I Corinthians 13:11 comes to mind. Grown folks using toys, at any time, for any reason? WHY? And yes, I’m sincerely asking.
I was just counseling an engaged couple, a virgin engaged couple, a few days ago and one of the things that I told them was the fact that they can “fumble around and figure it out”…that is *beautiful*. Purity is not about performance and the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4) shouldn’t have so much pressure upon it that people have to be, seemingly, more consumed with how to climax than how to connect. Cause after all, when the Word says that what God does, nothing can be added to or taken from it…and that he does it so that *man will fear him* (in this context, that would be respect-Ecclesiastes 3:14), why do we think that sexual bonding would be excluded from that? Why would we think that what we have, as seperate genders joining together, wouldn’t be enough? I mean, I don’t think there were batteries in biblical times and they seemed to get to know one another just fine. And isn’t that the point? In the Old Testament, when it came to sexual intercourse, it often says that they *knew* one another. Just as sex should be: the act of getting to *know* one another. Uninterrupted. Cause really, how can one focus with all of that drilling noise?!? 😉
Sometimes, I think we’re so *sin driven* that we’ve not *common sense focused*. Meaning, am I saying that thing is a *sin* to use? Not so much. But does it make sense to bring something into between your oneness? Something that doesn’t have a mind, body *or* spirit when that is one of the pinnacles of sex to begin with: to join those three entities? No matter how common those things may be…it just doesn’t make a lot of sense. To me.
Yeah. I’m open to your feedback, but I just don’t get it.
And honestly…I don’t want to.
With or without a free demonstration.