“And then to top off all your evil acts, you built your bold brothels in every town square. Doom! Doom to you, says God, the Master! At every major intersection you built your bold brothels and exposed your sluttish sex, spreading your legs for everyone who passed by.
And then you went international with your whoring. You fornicated with the Egyptians, seeking them out in their sex orgies. The more promiscuous you became, the angrier I got. Finally, I intervened, reduced your borders and turned you over to the rapacity of your enemies. Even the Philistine women—can you believe it?—were shocked at your sluttish life.
You went on to fornicate with the Assyrians. Your appetite was insatiable. But still you weren’t satisfied. You took on the Babylonians, a country of businessmen, and still you weren’t satisfied.
What a sick soul! Doing all this stuff—the champion whore! You built your bold brothels at every major intersection,opened up your whorehouses in every neighborhood, but you were different from regular whores in that you wouldn’t accept a fee.
Wives who are unfaithful to their husbands accept gifts from their lovers. And men commonly pay their whores. But you pay your lovers! You bribe men from all over to come to bed with you! You’re just the opposite of the regular whores who get paid for sex. Instead, you pay men for their favors! You even pervert whoredom!”—Ezekiel 16:23-34
OK, now if the men if your life haven’t been following these (and a lot of them have been), make sure that they get in on this one. Sadly, we are so concerned with what men are “doing to women”, that women are feeling more and more comfortable playing the victim as a justification for their harlotry.
Let me just say this fellas: A woman who will compromise her standards, even if it’s because she “loves” you (although love is patient, right?—I Corinthians 13:4), even if it’s because you have pressured her, still, SHE CANNOT BE TRUSTED. The Bible says that a VIRTUOUS (morally excellent; upright) WIFE (Proverbs 31:10) has a worth that is far above rubies. It is the heart of this kind of woman that you can safely trust. Why? Because she knows that abiding in the Spirit of God is always going to be more important than fulfilling the lust of her flesh….or yours (Galatians 5:16).
Yeah, this will probably leave you a little P.O.’ed during the dating—oh, I mean courting—process because you are single-minded and selfish, but it will pay off for you BIG TIME if you wait it out (I Corinthians 13:4) and marry her. Why? Because it means that when the rent is due and the money is low, she is trusting not in the flesh, but the Spirit; when you are impotent from stress, she is not trusting in the flesh, but the Spirit; when the children are running amuck, she is not trusting in the flesh, but the Spirit; if you lose your job, she is not trusting in the flesh, but the Spirit and if you find yourself in a bitter, backslidin’ state, she is not trusting in the flesh, but the Spirit.
One of the biggest mistakes men make while dating is looking for women who will “set it out” on the front end believing that they won’t get caught up. Hmm, if you really think that then you need to go back a few chapters and review Samson and Delilah again. Last night, I was watching a movie, Bed of Roses, a friend of mine. Yeah, it was all mushy-mush, but I must admit that now that I am seeing my true beauty and value, the storyline was a bit irritating. Sure, I loved that the man brought her flowers everyday simply because one day he saw the light on in her apartment and she was crying. But, it was after they slept together that I found myself getting irritated. That’s when they were lying around talking about how their parents met (she lied about it, by the way), their birthdays (you don’t know her birthday, but you know what her breasts look like?!?) and their dreams. Then, when he proposed to her at Christmas in front of all of his family, she refused him (the man who is going to marry me will know that’s not a good move. Why? Because he will know me and a public proposal ain’t my style!). After the refusal, he told her he loved her. My girlfriend and I were like, “How? He doesn’t even know her.”
But, I’m sure he thought he did because he fell under the illusion that comes with sex. He made himself one with a pretty stranger and was willing to commit his total life to her without even knowing her true character, her dreams and aspirations, and shoot, for that matter, her issues (and she had a lot of ‘em).
You say it’s just a movie? Please. That foolishness happens every single day. If people were really thinking, they wouldn’t’ be saying “I love you” (the person), they would be saying “I love it” (the sex). Men listen to me: A woman who gives herself to you before marriage can’t love you well because she doesn’t love herself well and she doesn’t respect God’s authority (Acts 21:25). I don’t know what makes you think that if she blatantly disrespects God and his laws that you—-a human, flawed, flesh-filled man, will be able to come in and run things. I mean, how long do people even stay in a bedroom for sexual purposes a day? A couple of hours (and that’s if you’re lucky)? What are you going to do about those other 22? She can’t stay naked and at your beck-and-call forever. There are children to raise, a household to run, bills to be paid and a purpose to be met. You want to know the signs of a good wife? She will refuse you every single time until you sell all that you have (carnally) to purchase her (spiritually) in marriage (Matthew 13:45-46).
Now, there is always a flip side. You know the kind. The men who want to lay down with whores and marry a virgin. Ladies, as a “delivered whore” (not because I walked the streets but because I gave myself to men who were not mine), let me tell you something. Everyone has a past and as Reverend Jackie McCollough once said, “Many of you ladies are dogging those men in prison and half of your husbands are up in there.” Say a word, say a word! But, if you are contemplating a relationship with a man who has a sexual past, do not allow him to bring his demons into your presence/present. A skip down the aisle does not a pure man make. Require a time of abstinence from him before he even pursues you on a serious level. He does not have the right and you cannot trust someone who jumps from a harlot’s bed sheets into your heart. If he can’t do (at least) six months-one year without sex (of any kind including masturbation and pornography) before entering a relationship with you, there is a huge chance that he will not have enough self-control to deal with the pressures of sexual stress later (while courting you and once you are married).
Do you remember the parable of the fig tree?
“A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it. And if it bears fruit, well. But if not, after that you can cut it down.”—Luke 13:6-9
There is nothing like a fruit tree that produces no fruit. There is also nothing like a man who doesn’t understand his purpose and one of them is to live a life of holiness in mind, body and spirit. One of the Fruit of the Spirit is temperance (i.e. self-control—-Galatians 5:22). If a man has just “gotta have it”, then he doesn’t need to have you. If he can’t control one muscle on his body, how can you trust him to use temperance with his money, with his ego, with his temper, with his children, with your family and with the leadership role that he has been given a right to once he marries you (Ephesians 5:24)?
He feels like he’s gonna die with some? He’ll be alright. His flesh needs to die. Besides, take it from me guys, this abstinence thing ain’t no cake walk for us, either. But godly women believe in the Word of God and it tells us that if we suffer for righteousness’ sake, we are blessed (consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified; worthy of adoration, reverence, or worship; divinely or supremely favored; fortunate; blissfully happy or contented—I Peter 3:14). If we, the “weaker vessel”, can tough it out, you definitely should be able to!
Now on to the Scriptures for today. As previously discussed, a disturbing thing happens once a woman starts giving it up. Soon, it’s hard for her to use any kind of good judgment. Why? Because light and darkness don’t mix. I just love the women who will call someone else a “ho” just because she has tricked herself into believing that she has better standards in her selection process of fornication (as a matter of fact, I used to be that girl). Let me just level it off: It can be 10 men at school or on your past four jobs; it can be two guys in two different states; it can even be your engaged boyfriend. If you don’t repent (Psalm 51:10), you are going to hell; not just in heaven, but here on earth (Romans 1:28-29). That is not judgment that is the Word of God. When it comes to sexual immorality, no one has the right to look down on anyone else. If you are “doing it” with anyone who is not your husband (oral sex counts), you are playing the harlot. If you are a virgin or abstinent, you need to stay on your face that God will keep you there (Proverbs 16:18).
A couple of days ago, I sent out an email about 2007 being the Year of Completion for a lot of people because “7” means “completion”. Ezekiel 16:27 confirms this resolve as it relates to sexual immorality. The Word says that after awhile, God was so disgusted with Renee’s sexual immorality that he “reduced [her] borders and turned [her] over to the rapacity of [her] enemies.”
You know what got Superhead to the point where she didn’t mind having that nickname? Do you know what makes the blonde women on The Girl Next Door not mind talking about sharing an old man like Hugh Hefner? Do you know why the Pussycat Dolls can dance around half-naked? These are all attractive women and I’ve even noticed in interviews that most of them can put some pretty intelligent sentences together. But, it gets to a point that when you sin against your own body (I Corinthians 6:18), you also convolute your purpose because you were only created for ONE MAN and to serve ONE GOD (the God that says that sex is for marriage). When you remain in a lifestyle of fornication and promiscuity, you are just a few steps away from having a reprobate mind by grieving the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). It is the Holy Spirit who operates as your conscience and without your conscience, the flesh takes over and you become very….let’s just say strange.
The crazy thing is because you let your lust for sex override your love for God and yourself, you end up never being satisfied. The Word says that God got so angry with Renee that he let her enemies have their way with her and let me tell you, anyone who wants you to live outside of God’s perfect will for your life IS YOUR ENEMY. Pray for them (Matthew 5:44) but keep healthy boundaries as well (need help? Get a Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend book). But what I really love is what it says in verse 27:
“Even the Philistine women—can you believe it?—were shocked at your sluttish life.”
I remember being in college and having women—women who I had heard having sex while sleeping in their apartments and door rooms—talk about how promiscuous I was. At the time, it was “only” a couple of guys, but when God removes his hedge of protection from you, one guy or 90 guys, it’s all the same. Sin is sin and even the filthiest of women can see it.
So what got Renee caught up in such mess? The Message Bible (the version used for the intro verses) says that she had a “sick soul”. The NKJV states that she had a “degenerate (having fallen below a normal or desirable level, esp. in physical or moral qualities) heart”. Ladies, it doesn’t matter if your man considers you to be “degenerate”. Men are fickle and their “desirable levels” as it relates to your “moral qualities” may change at any given time (when they are spiritually immature) based on their own spiritual standards and expectations; but Christ’s will never change (Hebrews 13:8). If you are sleeping with ANYONE who is not your HUSBAND, you have a degenerate heart and the only way to heal is to pray and then believe (Hebrews 11:6) Psalm 51. I have included a portion of it here (verses 1-13):
“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your loving kindness; according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight— that You may be found just when You speak, and blameless when You judge.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me. Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones You have broken may rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You.”
Breaking up with your boyfriend won’t absolve you. Giving money to the poor won’t absolve you. Wearing dresses to the floor won’t absolve you. Letting guys in your bra instead of your panties won’t absolve you. ONLY REPENTANCE WILL REVERSE THE CURSE. Now, it may not remove you from all of your consequences, but take it from me, you would rather go through them with grace and mercy than without. When I tell you that I KNOW that judgment is upon us, every fiber within my being is in agreement. Don’t put it past God to use extreme measures in these last days to convict people of their wrong doing. One of the most humbling tales to illustrate this is that of Israelites. It says in I Corinthians 10:8 that due to sexual immorality, 23,000 fell in one day! Nothing about the Word of God is redundant. Take heed. That was mentioned for a reason.
The final two lessons for today are two that are very close to my heart. Verse 32 in the NKJV says “You are an adulterous wife, who takes strangers instead of your husband.” You know how they say that you can’t turn a ho into a housewife? Not true. If a ho repents, she can be one of the best housewives on the block. A virgin, doesn’t not a wife make (just ask Jessica Simpson). But, I think if a lot of women realized that the more time they spend calling, chasing, crying over and seducing (whether on chat lines, the phone, date sites, dates, whatever) in search of “Mr. Right”, the more time they are taking away from receiving the husband that God has for them.
Do you know one of the best things that you can do while waiting for God to bless you with your mate? You can pray. You may know him. You may not. But prayers of a righteous person are powerful, period (James 5:16). God will not give a peasant girl to a king just like he won’t give a slave boy to a queen. Remember, we are to be wives once our husbands (after purpose and provision are in place) find us. You wanna woo him? Let your prayers and not your pumps do the walkin’.
And lastly, something that hit me dead in my face was that Renee was so “off the chain” in her foolishness that she found herself paying the men to have sex with her! Oh, I’ve been there. Picking men up in my car. Paying their phone bills and rent. Buying them clothes and shoes. Shoot, I even gave one guy several hundred dollars once, drove to his city over an hour away to drop it off and he didn’t even have the decency to put me in a bed. He was drunk on the couch and I slept on the floor. Come to find out, I paid for an abortion for some random chick.
Stupid sex makes you do stupid things. If he’s paying your rent and you’re sleeping with him, you’re a whore. If you’re paying his rent and sleeping with him, you’re still a whore. It’s a lose/lose situation. But, when you take on the role of provider for a man (Whore Option B), it emasculates (to deprive of strength or vigor; weaken) him. One of the largest epidemics today is women who lead men to think that as long as they are “puttin’ it down” in the bedroom, the rest of the house is irrelevant. One of the ways that a woman does this is taking on the role as his provider. He can’t pay his phone bill? Tell the brotha you’ll be praying for him. That is not your responsibility. He needs $150 extra bucks for books? Give him a job listings section. He wants to go out on a date, dutch? Tell him you don’t speak Dutch, you speak English and in your language a date means he’s paying. Not only your body, but your time and resources as well are invaluable. Don’t let any man take advantage of them.
So is there anything wrong with giving? Nope. God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7). But you need to make sure, especially when it comes to giving to a man that you care about, that you are doing it from a pure, non-expecting anything in return, co-dependent-less place. God promised that what you sow, you will reap, but he never told you how or when you would and so if you are giving of anything to woo a man or God, you are being manipulative and planting seed on stony ground (Mark 4:15-17). Give with godly discernment, release it and let it go. But the key is with oddly discernment and God is not going to have a woman take provide for a man. Remember, single men are in leadership training. Figuring things out in a crunch is a part of the process. Let them go through the process. What you do in prayer can do more than what you could do out of your purse anyway.
Homework for today:
Here is a poem that I wrote several years ago. If you know that you have lived a life of compromise, print it out and pray it today:
I stand here entrusting that you will hear the words that I say
And then by a miracle manifested you will send this message to the man who’s on the way
Until now, I used to wonder the reasons why in coming he would hesitate
It wasn’t You or him, but me, Lord—I’m so sorry for the delay
In my own disillusioned discernment, there were several men I would meet and then date
Due to confusion, generational curses and my time clock, a life of singleness made me afraid
So I stepped out on my own terms and refused to be patient and wait
Lending to others what belongs to him all because of my carnal faith
Which left my heart totally broken, my life in total disarray
I now ask that you would stop time while I’m in preparation—I’m so sorry for the delay
I’m sorry for the times when I shared the secrets that only he was supposed to know
I’m sorry for the days I have wasted in doubting, hanging on to myths instead of the truths I was told
I’m sorry for making him wait so much longer than ever was heaven’s goal
All because of my dating rebellion and my panning for what I now know is fool’s gold
Your Word says patience is a virtue and virtue is what I now ask you to restore
So that I can be the kind of woman that I know my husband is praying for
A king deserves no less than pure royalty—a queen, Lord, please make me much more
I ask that you would be merciful and make me as honorable as I was before
So tonight, as he is on his knees Lord, soothe his spirit with these words that I say
Reassure him of your faithful promises; give him a glimpse of that wondrous day
When our eyes will meet for the first time, the initial smile and the first words I know I will say
“It took awhile, but I’m now here forever. Love, I’m so sorry for the delay.”
©Shellie R. Warren/2001
Have a good one, my queen and kings-in-training!
©Shellie R. Warren/2006