“As it turned out, God was with Joseph and things went very well with
him. He ended up living in the home of his Egyptian master. His master
recognized that God was with him, saw that God was working for good in
everything he did. He became very fond of Joseph and made him his
personal aide. He put him in charge of all his personal affairs,
turning everything over to him. From that moment on, God blessed the
home of the Egyptian—all because of Joseph. The blessing of God spread
over everything he owned, at home and in the fields, and all Potiphar
had to concern himself with was eating three meals a day.

Joseph was a strikingly handsome man. As time went on, his master’s
wife became infatuated with Joseph and one day said, ‘Sleep with me.’

He wouldn’t do it. He said to his master’s wife, ‘Look, with me here,
my master doesn’t give a second thought to anything that goes on
here—he’s put me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an
equal. The only thing he hasn’t turned over to me is you. You’re his
wife, after all! How could I violate his trust and sin against God?’

She pestered him day after day after day, but he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her.

On one of these days he came to the house to do his work and none of
the household servants happened to be there. She grabbed him by his
cloak, saying, ‘Sleep with me!’ He left his coat in her hand and ran
out of the house. When she realized that he had left his coat in her
hand and run outside, she called to her house servants: ‘Look—this
Hebrew shows up and before you know it he’s trying to seduce us. He
tried to make love to me but I yelled as loud as I could. With all my
yelling and screaming, he left his coat beside me here and ran outside.’

She kept his coat right there until his master came home. She told him
the same story. She said, ‘The Hebrew slave, the one you brought to us,
came after me and tried to use me for his plaything. When I yelled and
screamed, he left his coat with me and ran outside.’

When his master heard his wife’s story, telling him, ‘These are the
things your slave did to me,’ he was furious. Joseph’s master took him
and threw him into the jail where the king’s prisoners were locked up.
But there in jail God was still with Joseph: He reached out in kindness
to him; he put him on good terms with the head jailer. The head jailer
put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners—he ended up managing the
whole operation. The head jailer gave Joseph free rein, never even
checked on him, because God was with him; whatever he did God made sure
it worked out for the best.—Genesis 39:2-23


“So, Pharaoh needs to look for a wise and experienced man and put him
in charge of the country. Then Pharaoh needs to appoint managers
throughout the country of Egypt to organize it during the years of
plenty. Their job will be to collect all the food produced in the good
years ahead and stockpile the grain under Pharaoh’s authority, storing
it in the towns for food. This grain will be held back to be used later
during the seven years of famine that are coming on Egypt. This way the
country won’t be devastated by the famine.

This seemed like a good idea to Pharaoh and his officials.

Then Pharaoh said to his officials, ‘Isn’t this the man we need? Are we
going to find anyone else who has God’s spirit in him like this?’

So Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘You’re the man for us. God has given you
the inside story—no one is as qualified as you in experience and
wisdom. From now on, you’re in charge of my affairs; all my people will
report to you. Only as king will I be over you.'”—Genesis 41:36-40

An author by the name of Jonathan Kozol once said that “There comes a
point and time in history when we need to call things by their rightful

I couldn’t agree more. So when it comes to the heart, soul and spirit
of Potiphar’s wife, she was definitely a hoochie. I know this because a
delivered spirit can recognize a bound-up likened one, and when I tell
you that I used to be similar to her, I ain’t lyin’.

While in college, I recall one relationship in particular that was very
similar to that of Joseph and the king’s wife. Because I never really
learned how to relay healthy intimate feelings towards the opposite sex
(in other words, if we both found each other to be attractive, had good
energy and conversation and liked each other in a friendly way, then
that must mean that we should entertain taking things to the next
level), it was hard for me to maintain one of the best friendships that
I had at the time.

I remember one night being in his dorm room and trying to coerce him
into sleeping with me, noticing that his “flesh” was interested; but
his spirit prevailed. At the time, I found it to be rejection, but
looking back, I see it was pure love; not just love that he had for our
friendship, but love that he had for himself. What an attractive
quality for a man to see beyond the moment into what lies ahead (as a
real leader does).

And what a disgusting quality for a woman to not be able to do the same.

The really scary thing is that we are now in the midst of a generation
of young girls with this same hoochie mentality. Just recently, I was
talking to one of my many surrogate nephews about a girl who was
propositioning him for oral sex. He’s not even old enough to drive and
already he is contemplating sexual activities that I was unaware of
until college and my parents’ generation probably didn’t know anything
about until marriage (let some of them tell it, they still don’t
know—-the devil is a liar!). Suddenly sexual acts that should be
treated as sacred (which for clarification’s sake are all of them) are
not only not saved for the marital bed, but women, God’s daughters, his
royal princesses are, as my grandmother used to say, “sitting on a
million dollars and giving it away for a Happy Meal”…a drive home, a
phone call, a note passed in class, a rubber bracelet…nothing. The
crazy thing is like the adulteress in Proverbs 5, a lot of these women
don’t even see how lost they really are:

“The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh
so smooth. But it won’t be long before she’s gravel in your mouth, a
pain in your gut, a wound in your heart. She’s dancing down the
primrose path to Death; she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you
with her. She hasn’t a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where
she’s going.

So, my friend, listen closely; don’t treat my words casually. Keep your
distance from such a woman; absolutely stay out of her neighborhood.
You don’t want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious
life among the hardhearted. Why should you allow strangers to take
advantage of you? Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you?
You don’t want to end your life full of regrets, nothing but sin and
bones, saying, “Oh, why didn’t I do what they told me? Why did I reject
a disciplined life? Why didn’t I listen to my mentors, or take my
teachers seriously? My life is ruined! I haven’t one blessed thing to
show for my life!”—Proverbs 5:3-14

One of the key portions of this scripture that stood out to me was “she
doesn’t have a clue about who she is or where she is going”. Ladies,
let me just say that one of the first signs that a man is no good for
you is if he doesn’t care about your priorities. He’s not interested in
your goals, dreams or desires, and any time you try to have a
meaningful conversation with him, all that seems to come out of his
mouth is some reference to your anatomy and what he’d like to do to it.
Take it from me, when you’re a girl with no life, it comes across as
flirting; but the moment you get one, it immediately translates into
sexual harassment.

And fellas, you are receiving this warning from the wisest—and yet
dumbest—man who ever lived, Solomon. C’mon, according to this text,
does it sound like having 700 wives and 300 concubines (I Kings 11:3)
was really the jump off? To me, it sounds like Solomon was the product
of a generational curse (after all, his parents were David and
Bathsheba, remember?—2 Samuel 12:24) of sexual misuse.

Simply put, a man who feels the need to surround himself without a lot
of women, or really even just a man who sexually involves himself with
a woman who is not his covenant partner, is the very definition of
insecure. The scriptures say it (“Do not give your strength to women,
nor your ways to that which destroys kings.—Proverbs 31:3) and so
does the definition of insecure:

Insecure: not sure or certain; doubtful; lacking stability; troubled;
lacking self-confidence and emotional stability; plagued by anxiety.

And let’s be real. When you are a woman in your right mind (because
that is key), who really wants a man like that? Ladies, take it from
me. If you want a good man, you will want a godly man. A man who knows

“When we suffer for Jesus, it works out for your healing and salvation.
If we are treated well, given a helping hand and encouraging word, that
also works to your benefit, spurring you on, face forward, unflinching.
Your hard times are also our hard times. When we see that you’re just
as willing to endure the hard times as to enjoy the good times, we know
you’re going to make it, no doubt about it.”—2 Corinthians 1:6

“The best thing you can do right now is to finish what you started last
year and not let those good intentions grow stale. Your heart’s been in
the right place all along. You’ve got what it takes to finish it up, so
go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what
you can’t. The heart regulates the hands. This isn’t so others can take
it easy while you sweat it out. No, you’re shoulder to shoulder with
them all the way, your surplus matching their deficit, their surplus
matching your deficit. In the end you come out even. As it is written,
Nothing left over to the one with the most, nothing lacking to the one
with the least. I thank God for giving Titus the same devoted concern
for you that I have. He was most considerate of how we felt, but his
eagerness to go to you and help out with this relief offering is his
own idea. We’re sending a companion along with him, someone very
popular in the churches for his preaching of the Message. But there’s
far more to him than popularity. He’s rock-solid trustworthy. The
churches handpicked him to go with us as we travel about doing this
work of sharing God’s gifts to honor God as well as we can, taking
every precaution against scandal.”—-2 Corinthians 8:10

“So, friends, take a firm stand, feet on the ground and head high. Keep
a tight grip on what you were taught, whether in personal conversation
or by our letter. May Jesus himself and God our Father, who reached out
in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence,
put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work, enliven your
speech.”—2 Thessalonians 2:15

“The answer’s simple: Live right, speak the truth, despise
exploitation, refuse bribes, reject violence, avoid evil amusements.
This is how you raise your standard of living! A safe and stable way to
live. A nourishing, satisfying way to live.”—Isaiah 33:15

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication,
with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the
peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts
and minds through Christ Jesus.”—Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

A few days ago I was asking myself, “Why do so many women, even and in
some ways especially, church going women, have such a lack of a desire
for godly men?”

I think that one of the main reasons is that too often we associate
godly with religion rather than relationship. Remember, in previous
chapters, we discussed that a godly man is one who respects God’s order
of things (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, man and woman). The truth is, when
a man doesn’t have a relationship with God, he doesn’t understand God’s
order and more times than not, as a direct result, the order gets

Now, instead of a man telling a woman “No, I’m not going to sleep with
you because you are not my wife and I love myself too much to degrade
my mind, body and spirit by laying down with someone who doesn’t
understand her value and God’s order”, like dogs in heat who operate on
instinct, they are droppin’ their drawers in the back of car seats, on
park benches and anywhere else a woman sets it out. Yes, as God says in
Romans, because so many men are worshiping the creature rather than the
Creator (Romans 1:25), they are being left to deal withl their lust; a
counterfeit designed by the Enemy that can never be fully satisfied. A
wise man, however, heeds good counsel:

“Don’t lustfully fantasize on her beauty, nor be taken in by her
bedroom eyes. You can buy an hour with a whore for a loaf of bread, but
a wanton woman may well eat you alive. Can you build a fire in your lap
and not burn your pants? Can you walk barefoot on hot coals and not get
blisters? It’s the same when you have sex with your neighbor’s wife:
Touch her and you’ll pay for it. No excuses. Hunger is no excuse for a
thief to steal; When he’s caught he has to pay it back, even if he has
to put his whole house in hock. Adultery is a brainless act,
soul-destroying, self-destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye,
and a reputation ruined for good. For jealousy detonates rage in a
cheated husband; wild for revenge, he won’t make allowances. Nothing
you say or pay will make it all right; neither bribes nor reason will
satisfy him.”—Proverbs 6:24

He knows that any time he enters into the dwelling place of a woman who
God has not given him the permission in which to reside, trouble is on
the way. Remember, when it comes to adultery, any time you are sleeping
with someone who is not your covenant partner, you are sleeping with
someone’s future mate, therefore, planting the seeds of adultery that
reap the results of hell—both here on earth and in the afterlife (I
Corinthians 6:9). A good, godly man also knows that in order to
maintain God’s order, he cannot be in the least bit lukewarm in his

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the
world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the
world makes himself an enemy of God.”—James 4:4 (NKJV)

And, he knows that the woman God has purposed for him will not be flaky, either:

“The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands,
responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they
are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy
beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your
hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner
disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God
delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way,
and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance,
taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll
be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and
unintimidated.”—I Peter 3:1-6

You wanna see someone who is out of place? If it’s a woman, watch how
much energy she puts into her “container” and rather than her
“content”. And, if it’s a man, his depth can be determined by how much
or little praise he gives upon making this observation.

Which is why Joseph had no problem running up out of Potiphar’s wife’s
presence. I am willing to bet that she was attractive. And, to a
carnal-minded man, I’m sure what Joseph did (running out of her house)
appeared to real punk-like. After all, society teaches us that if
you’re a “real” man, you don’t turn down a good piece of…sin

But if you are looking with spiritual discernment, you see just how
much of a man Joseph really was. He respected the fact that to take
something that belonged to someone else, not only violated their
friendship (and if you are a child of God, you have a responsibility to
all men), but his relationship with God as well (do you see more and
more why you need a godly man?). Because, he knew that he had to submit
to God and God does not condone sexual immorality (I Corinthians 6:18),
the woman’s proposition was not worth even considering. It may be have
been tempting, but it stopped right there. Sure, he may have had to
run, but God still kept his word when he said that he would always
provide a plan of escape (I Corinthians 10:13).

Now please don’t think that Potiphar’s wife is off the hook within this
message. Not only did she attempt to tempt a man she was not in
covenant with, but she then tried to frame him for rape once she was

Ladies, I know I am speaking to someone when I say this. As I am
dealing with my own singleness and I wait for who God has for me (I
have a feeling he’s in leadership training), the only thing that I know
for sure is that I am to be “anxious for nothing”, which can be really
hard for an assertive personality like mine. One night, when I thought
I was gonna jump out of my skin, God led me to the synonyms for the

Anxious: afraid, aghast, antsy*, apprehensive, basket case*, bugged*,
butterflies, careful, choked*, clutched*, concerned, disquieted,
distressed, disturbed, dreading, fearful, fidgety, fretful, hacked*,
hyper*, in suspense*, jittery, jumpy, nervous, nervy, overwrought,
restless, scared, shaking, shaky, shivery, shook up*, solicitous,
spooked*, strung out*, sweating bullets*, taut, troubled, uneasy,
unglued*, unquiet, uptight*, watchful, wired*, wired up, worried sick*,

I don’t know what exactly was going on with Potiphar’s wife at the time
that she threw herself before Joseph like some Dollar Tree dish rag.
Maybe her husband was away on business so much that she felt neglected.
Maybe their sex drives were incompatible. Maybe he didn’t speak her
love language (www.fivelovelanguages.com).
But for all of these scenarios, sleeping with another man was not going
to solve anything. In all actuality, her “scared”, “fearful”,
“jittery”, “restless” behavior caused her to act in desperation.

She’s not alone. Remember, the word says that “He who findeth (to come
upon or discover by searching or making an effort) a wife findeth a
good thing” (Proverbs 18:22). If you desire a husband, again, wife
preparation begins before he steps on to the scene.

Have you ever been in the car with someone who is jumpy? I know most of
my friends will say “yes” because I tend to be one of those people;
it’s a control thing and I’m working on it. Anyway, if you are on a
road trip and they are supposed to help you out by giving you
directions and keeping you company, but all they are doing is
fidgeting, yelling at you to watch the possum in the road and fumbling
with the road map, really…how much help are they?

My sistahs, we are called to be a help to our husbands in this journey
that we call life. If you think waiting on a man is hard, just wait
until you and your husband are having financial problems and he’s
needing you not to panic, or his spirit is broken and he’s needing you
to be his sanctuary when he doesn’t have clear cut answers—yet.

It’s so easy to judge a woman like Potiphar’s wife, but let me just
tell you that a woman will do strange things when she’s desperate.
That’s why a godly man has no desire in pursuing a woman like that. He
knows that once the beauty fades (and beauty doesn’t fade with age, but
poor experience) that there won’t be much to show for his pursuit in
the long run.

I added the end result to Potiphar’s wife’s lies concerning Joseph for
a reason. Once again we are shown that God and truth prevail no matter
what the circumstances. Ladies, a man doesn’t need you to make him feel
powerful and no matter what you conjure up in response to your bruised
ego and hurt feelings as the result of his rejection, it has no barring
on God’s plan for his life.

In other words, if a man doesn’t want you, don’t be out trying to seek
revenge (dating his friend, keying his car, destroying his rep, etc.).
No matter what the outcome, we are called to love our neighbor as
ourselves. And so you know what that means, right? If sexual
immorality, desperation or vengeance is in your mind, you don’t love
yourself very much at all (Luke 10:27).

Which leads me to the homework for today:

Spend some time in 2 Timothy 3. If you find yourself taking advantage
of someone (causing them to do anything that is outside of the will of
God) and especially if you find yourself being taken advantage of, this
chapter will provide you with some great insight into why that just may
be the case.

Next, ask God to purify your heart so that a godly man—-not a man who
is religious, but a man who has a relationship with Christ—-will be a
man that you so desire. Any man operating outside of that is an
insecure, doubtful man (James 1:6-8). Following him will only make you
e-motion sick.

And finally, ask God to restore a state of peace in your mind. I am
preaching to the choir with this one, but sometimes our anxiety, causes
us to violate the very prayer request that God is trying to answer.
Remember, for a man, leadership training is solely a God/man issue.
Look at it this way, when you find yourself not being “weary in well
doing” (2 Thessalonians 3:13) as a single woman, it’s training for the
endurance that you will need as a wife, and trust me, you will need
much more then than you have need for now. God is a God of order (I
Corinthians 14:40). There will be no regrets if you follow it.

Class dismissed.

©Shellie R. Warren/2006