“King Solomon was obsessed with women. Pharaoh’s daughter was only the
first of the many foreign women he loved—Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite,
Sidonian, and Hittite. He took them from the surrounding pagan nations
of which God had clearly warned Israel, ‘You must not marry them;
they’ll seduce you into infatuations with their gods.’ Solomon fell in
love with them anyway, refusing to give them up. He had seven hundred
royal wives and three hundred concubines—a thousand women in all! And
they did seduce him away from God. As Solomon grew older, his wives
beguiled him with their alien gods and he became unfaithful—he didn’t
stay true to his God as his father David had done. Solomon took up with
Ashtoreth, the whore goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech, the horrible
god of the Ammonites.
Solomon openly defied God; he did not follow in his father David’s
footsteps. He went on to build a sacred shrine to Chemosh, the horrible
god of Moab, and to Molech, the horrible god of the Ammonites, on a
hill just east of Jerusalem. He built similar shrines for all his
foreign wives, who then polluted the countryside with the smoke and
stench of their sacrifices.
God was furious with Solomon for abandoning the God of Israel, the God
who had twice appeared to him and had so clearly commanded him not to
fool around with other gods. Solomon faithlessly disobeyed God’s orders.
God said to Solomon, ‘Since this is the way it is with you, that you
have no intention of keeping faith with me and doing what I have
commanded, I’m going to rip the kingdom from you and hand it over to
someone else. But out of respect for your father David I won’t do it in
your lifetime. It’s your son who will pay—I’ll rip it right out of his
grasp. Even then I won’t take it all; I’ll leave him one tribe in honor
of my servant David and out of respect for my chosen city
Jerusalem.'”—I Kings 11:1-3
OK. Can I just be real with you today? The Word says we and those
around us are saved through our testimony (I Timothy 4:11-16), and so
let me testify for just one moment.
The past 48 hours have been like a major detox for me! I am consciously
aware of what is going on: I am spending more time in the Word than I
ever have in my entire life; people are writing me about the relational
breakthroughs (and break-ups) that they are experiencing as a result of
this study; a woman prophesied that I would no longer just stand but
soar like I never have before and that my enemies would try and attack
me but it would not work; I am (finally) living a single life of
integrity and…this is the longest stint of abstinence that I have
Yep. I get it. The Enemy wanted to kill me (and believe me, he almost
did a couple of times) because he didn’t want me to get to this point,
and still I tell you that when I called my intercessory people for some
serious prayer over my flesh these past couple of days, I AIN’T
PLAYIN’. My body was crying out in a way (for crack, fingers on the
glass and all) that was beyond hormonal; it was demonic. The Enemy
didn’t just want me to fall; he wanted me to drown in the abyss of lust
And, I am telling you this because I want you to understand some things:
1) Just because God has chosen me to share this series with others (and
I am honored), I am not the teacher; I am the translator, which means
that I’m learning just as you are.
2) When you come into supernatural knowledge about something, the Enemy
has to elevate his pressure and method of attack. In other words, if
you have been following this series all the way through, he knows that
you are aware of some of his biggest tricks now and so YOU WILL BE
3) Temptation is but for a moment and prayer is powerful. I am here to
tell you that when God said you will not be tempted beyond what you can
bear, he meant it (I Corinthians 10:13). No matter how rough it may
get, know that God will always grant what’s according to his will and
obedience to him is ALWAYS ACCORDING TO HIS WILL. Get some friends and
get prayed up. That’s what I did and I am free.
4) The Enemy is not your friend even when he flatters you. Please
remember that his mission is to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10).
He has a man calling you to tell you that you’re bangin’? So what? He
has an ex out of nowhere reaching out to “just checkin’ in”? So what?
She says that she understands the pain of your break up and wants
to—console you? Hang up. Remember, the Enemy cannot give you life.
Only God can and God desires that we have it in abundance (an extremely
plentiful or oversufficient quantity or supply). Only God can do
exceedingly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), so hold
on. Your heart’s desire is coming and when it comes, from the hands of
God, it will last forever (Ecclesiastes 3:14).
5) Everyone has had/will have an “on the cross” experience. God says in
his Word that if we suffer for righteousness’ sake, WE ARE BLESSED (I
Peter 3:14). When Christ was on the cross, there was a moment right
before his purpose on this earth was about to be fulfilled that he felt
abandoned by God (Mark 15:34). Yes, the belief is that Christ had taken
on so many sins of the world that God had to temporarily remove himself
because light cannot be in the presence of darkness. However, I believe
that even in our lives, as we move into new levels of our purpose in
Christ that we too will experience moments when we wonder if God is
there. HE IS. He says in his Word that he will NEVER leave us or
forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), but we must remain content with what we have
and where we are. Just as a child is hesitant to take their first
steps, when God “lets you go” to stand on your own with his godly
principles, it’s so that you can learn how to be stabilized in your
faith (Hebrews 11:1). You don’t need to be coddled all of the time. If
you have gotten to Chapter 19 with me, you are not a baby in the area
of relationships anymore. WALK IT OUT.
With that said, it’s now time to get into Solomon and (some of) his issues.
It has been said that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. That
would make sense because it says that in I Kings 3:4-5 that God told
Solomon that he could ask for whatever he wanted and God would give it
to him. I know for me personally that some of my favorite biblical
reads are the Books of Ecclesiastes and Proverbs. Not only was Solomon
wise, but he was deeply intuitive and profound.
And yet, he was stupid enough to let 1000 women consume him.
If there is one thing that Solomon’s life has taught us and taught us
well is that gifts truly do come without repentance (Romans 11:29). You
wanna know why so many pastors have thousand-plus member churches and
are stealing money off of the offering plate and sleeping with the
‘Second Timothy Women” of their congregation? You wanna know why so
many homosexual men are leading church choirs? You wanna know why so
many hip-hop artists are winning awards rappin’ about the “b-word,
bling and brew” and so many singers are scantily-clad and famous?
Because on some level, all of these people are gifted; but without the
anointing of God, at the end of the day, no matter what man may grant
them, it ultimately and eternally profits them nothing (Matthew 16:26).
After what I just went through this week, I believe I only got a
glimpse of the amount of pressure that Solomon must’ve been under. Not
only was he the product of a generational curse of sexual perversion,
but he was given wisdom from God in a way that few people have ever
known (hmm, probably because they haven’t asked—James 1:5). So yes,
the Enemy hated him. So what better way to destroy his life than to
convince him to abuse two of God’s greatest gifts: sex and women. And
not just any women—fine, thick, ungodly women!
Here is the first lesson that we can learn from Solomon. In Genesis
2:24-25, it says that two were made one flesh. God says in his Word
that he will supply all of our needs (Philippians 4:19). And, as I
looked up the instructions for marriage in the Books of Corinthians not
once was “husband” or “wife” listed in plural form. So you know what
that tells me? Because the Enemy always provides a counterfeit for God,
when you choose to operate in lust, you will never be filled. You will
never get enough sex. You will never get enough affection. You will
never get enough praise or compliments. You will never get enough
security. You’ll never get enough people around you. In short, you will
never be totally satisfied.
See, Solomon thought that he needed lots of women to make him whole but
he only needed one God. This is a lesson that ALL OF US need to keep in
the forefront of our minds. Far too often, we look to people (courtship
partners, husbands/wives, pastors, friends, family members, parents,
co-workers, etc.) to be our everything, and they can never be (because
they were not created to be). However, when we place God as our head,
he can direct us (Proverbs 3:6) to those who will add and not subtract
from our lives and his will for us.
Something that God has really been instilling in me is the value of
godly relationships. Not relationships with people who go to church
(some of the craziest people are up in there). Not relationships with
people who don’t have a past (David had a past. Mary Magdalene had a
past. Paul had a past.). Not relationships with people who say and do
all of the right things when certain people are watching them, but
genuine relationships with people who love God, who want to do what’s
right and when they do what’s wrong, they don’t try and justify it.
They repent (2 Corinthians 7:10).
God says in his Word that his yoke is easy and his burden is light
(Matthew 11:30). He instructs us that in our relationships, we should
not be unequally-yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). Then he promises us that
he will not give us more than we can bear (I Corinthians 10:13).
Don’t you see? Whenever you unite yourself—platonically or
romantically—-with someone who does not love God, first (and his Word
says that if you love him, you will keep his commandments—I John
5:2), then you are putting yourself in a position where you are having
to carry more drama, more stress, more regret, more maintenance than he
ever intended for you. Some of you are wondering why you feel so
drained by your girlfriend and it’s because the two of you are
unequally-yoked. Some of you can’t get why your boyfriend causes you to
cry more than laugh and it’s because the two of you are unequally
yoked. A ton of us are wondering why, like a Lay’s potato chip, we
can’t get enough sexual satisfaction and it’s because we are lying down
with people with whom we are unequally-yoked.
And, until you are willing to fully grasp this reality, you will
continue to live, at the very least, a ho-hum life instead of one of
abundance. One thing that God said to me in my prayer time as I was
throwing my “And when I am gonna get to have sex again, God?” fit the
other night was “You can have it tonight. I won’t disrespect your
choice. But it will be just that much longer before you get what I have
perfectly designed for you because it will take more time to pick you
up, clean you off and restore you.”
I don’t want my husband to have to wait any longer than God wants him
to. I don’t want my children to wait any more than God wants them to. I
don’t want the next level of my purpose to have to wait any longer than
God wants it to. And so you know what that means? That means that for
now, I have to wait (ironic, huh?).
God says in his Word:
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at
you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is
forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out
of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and
well-developed, not deficient in any way.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to
help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask
for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who
‘worry their prayers’ are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re
going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping
all your options open. “—James 1:2-8
You wanna know why some of you are still waiting on your mate? It’s
because you are trying to get him/her prematurely. God is not going to
give a peasant girl (a whiny, materialistic, manipulative, clingy gal)
to a king. She has to become a “mature and well-developed” queen,
first. God is not gonna give some little boy (and a guy who can “put it
down” out of season is still a little boy—God wanted me to say that
to somebody) to a queen. He has to become a “mature and well-developed”
(use self-control until he is married) king, first. Just because you
don’t have what you want doesn’t mean you won’t get it. If it’s
according to God’s will, it just means it’s not ready yet.
A prayer of David (Psalm 20:4) is one that we all should hold
near-and-dear to our hearts: “May he grant you according to your
heart’s desire and fulfill all your purpose.” (NKJV)
Wouldn’t it be horrible to get to heaven and realize that because you
moved out of season, you moved out of purpose? Sure you got the mate,
the Lexus SUV and the 2.5 kids, but because you were hell bent on
getting married NOW, you missed out on some of the opportunities that
God was trying to grant you. If you love someone—and I mean really
love them—not only do you desire to be with them, but you desire to
see their purpose fulfilled. Well, one of God’s greatest purposes for
man is that they be “mature, well-developed and not deficient in any
way”. It doesn’t say they have to be perfect, but they do not need to
This is why God wanted Solomon to marry a woman of Israel. Not just
because within his heart’s desire he would be protected and fulfilled,
but because he wanted Solomon to remain focused on his purpose:
“You must not marry them; they’ll seduce you into infatuations with their gods.” I Kings 11:2
When you are operating outside of God’s will, you are operating outside
of God’s purpose and so that is just one more reason why he wants you
united in a godly union. You can be rich with an unsaved person. You
can be popular with an unsaved person. You can live a relatively cool
life with an unsaved person. But God says that before the womb, you
were called and chosen for a special work (Jeremiah 1:5). Being rich,
being popular, being “relatively cool” means nothing to God; being on
purpose is all that matters.
God in his infinite wisdom knew that Solomon making covenant with
ungodly women would lead to great destruction. The Bible says that soon
he was led away to foreign gods because of his 700 wives and 300
concubines. So, hear this ladies: Just because we are called to be
submissive (Ephesians 5:22) doesn’t mean that we don’t have power.
You wanna know why a lot of men have gotten to the point where they are
promiscuous, disrespectful, abusive (and if you abnormally use a
female, you are being abusive, fellas), insensitive and selfish? It’s
because they have been led away by ungodly women. The Bible says that
light cannot have fellowship with darkness (I Thessalonians 5:5) and
that when we are in God, we are a “chosen generation, a royal
priesthood, a holy nation and his special people” (I Peter 2:9). In
other words, to live a full life, we must live a godly one apart from
those who are not holy.
God ain’t holdin’ out on you by putting these boundaries in place.
Remember, everything that the Enemy does is a counterfeit of what God
does. If a wife is meant to bring her husband favor (Proverbs 28:11),
then that means that with her help from the Lord, her husband receives:
*aid and support
*gracious, friendly and obliging acts that are freely granted
*privilege and concession
However, through the counterfeit of lust and the help of a concubine a man receives the opposite of that:
*the state of being held in the eyes of disapproval
See what happens when you get whipped? Fellas, if you want to elevate,
the first thing you need to do is let those hoochie mamas go! They are
“holdin’ you down” in more ways than on a set of bed sheets! If you
choose to keep them, even with all of the information that I have just
provided you, you are not any better off than Solomon was. The Bible
says that God was so angry with him (verse 9) that he tore his kingdom
down (verse 10).
Is your career not flourishing? Hmm, do you have a concubine?
Are you constantly in a state of financial depletion? Do you have a concubine?
Does it seem that no matter how much you do, nothing is materializing? Do you have a concubine?
Are you moody, irritable, selfish and insensitive? Do you have a concubine?
Are you unhappy more than you’re full of joy? Do you have a concubine?
One of the definitions of the word “kingdom” is “anything conceived as
constituting a realm or sphere of independent action or control”. As a
man, God gave you dominion over the earth (Genesis 1:26). When you
choose to not obey him, anything that you independently conceive, he
cannot bless. And, when you choose to remain rebellious, in time, he
will destroy what you are trying to build. Are a few moments really
worth losing your entire kingdom? C’mon now.
So why are some of you successful, healthy and still alive to take
advantage of the next chick even today? Well, within that question lies
the final lesson for this chapter.
I Kings 11:13 says that although God was furious with Solomon, he left
one tribe standing for his successor (his son) because of the
relationship that God had with Solomon’s father, David. For many of us,
the full wrath of God has not consumed us (yet) because of the prayers
that have gone forth from our ancestors, family members and friends.
However, don’t get real cocky about that. For one, pride comes before
the fall (Proverbs 16:18) and secondly, the wrath of God is sure
(Ephesians 5:6) and you never know how or when it will strike.
But more than anything, if you have been living a life of compromise,
wouldn’t you now like to know all that God has for you if you would
simply choose to no longer live off of the crumbs of your family and
friends’ favor? If you have a good job now, wouldn’t you like a great
one? If you are driving a nice car now, wouldn’t you like a better one?
If you are doing “OK” now, wouldn’t you like to live a life that is
through the roof? If your courtship partner “will do” now, wouldn’t you
like someone who far exceeds even what you knew to pray for?
Homework for today: Write a top ten list of your heart’s desires. Then
write down God’s commandments (Exodus 20:1-17), the Love Chapter (I
Corinthians 13:4-8) and the Fruit of the Spirit (Ephesians 5:22-23).
Now, be really honest with yourself. Does your life line up with the
instructions found within these scriptures?
The Enemy forever wants us consumed in the fear (there is no fear in
love and God is love by the way, I John 4:18) that if we do things
God’s way, we will not get what we want. In Solomon’s story, it does
not say that God didn’t want him to have a wife (and yes, with a wife
comes sex). He said that he wanted him with a godly, “equally-yoked”
wife because God knows that with a wife comes sex, but also
favor…GODLY FAVOR (Proverbs 18:22).
Whether you are male or female, if you desire long-term companionship,
in your state of singleness, you don’t need to be concerned with
getting your heart’s desire. That’s God’s department.
When was the last time you went to Wal-Mart (probably yesterday,
right?) Did you have to worry about providing what you needed from
there? Nope. That’s the store’s job. What you needed to be concerned
with was having your currency ready. If you don’t have the money,
Wal-Mart can have everything you could possibly dream of, and you still
won’t get it (well you can if you steal it, but in doing so there are
penalties and fines—I’m sure you catch my drift).
God says in his Word that if we delight ourselves in him, he will give
us our heart’s desire (Psalm 37:4). Proverbs 13:22 goes on to say that
a good man leaves an inheritance for his children and the wealth of the
wicked is laid up for the righteous. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God
knows that plans that he has for our lives; plans of good and not evil
to give us hope in the FINAL OUTCOME. When you are obedient, you are
“storing up currency”. You don’t have to concern yourself with “if” God
has what you want. You just need to make sure you are willing to pay
the price to get it and to get his “good things” you must love a life
in CONSISTENT SUBMISSION TO HIS WILL AND HIS WAY.
You can steal a mate, steal a position, steal some money, steal some
status if you want to, but there will be penalties and fines. God wants
to bless you in a way that will free you. Obey him NOW so that he can
at THE PERFECT TIME.
And let the story of Solomon be a lesson to you. You can have all of
the insight you want, but if it doesn’t line up with God, at the end of
the day, no matter what man may think, you have NOTHING.
…but a bunch of chaos.
©Shellie R. Warren/2006