“Some time later he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek
(Grapes). Her name was Delilah. The Philistine tyrants approached her
and said, ‘Seduce him. Discover what’s behind his great strength and
how we can tie him up and humble him. Each man’s company will give you
a hundred shekels of silver.’

So Delilah said to Samson, ‘Tell me, dear, the secret of your great strength, and how you can be tied up and humbled.’

Samson told her, ‘If they were to tie me up with seven bowstrings—the
kind made from fresh animal tendons, not dried out—then I would become
weak, just like anyone else.’

The Philistine tyrants brought her seven bowstrings, not dried out, and
she tied him up with them. The men were waiting in ambush in her room.
Then she said, ‘The Philistines are on you, Samson!’ He snapped the
cords as though they were mere threads. The secret of his strength was
still a secret.

Delilah said, ‘Come now, Samson—you’re playing with me, making up stories. Be serious; tell me how you can be tied up.’

He told her, ‘If you were to tie me up tight with new ropes, ropes
never used for work, then I would be helpless, just like anybody else.’

So Delilah got some new ropes and tied him up. She said, ‘The
Philistines are on you, Samson!’ The men were hidden in the next room.
He snapped the ropes from his arms like threads.

Delilah said to Samson, ‘You’re still playing games with me, teasing me with lies. Tell me how you can be tied up.’

He said to her, ‘If you wove the seven braids of my hair into the
fabric on the loom and drew it tight, then I would be as helpless as
any other mortal.’

When she had him fast asleep, Delilah took the seven braids of his hair
and wove them into the fabric on the loom and drew it tight. Then she
said, ‘The Philistines are on you, Samson!’ He woke from his sleep and
ripped loose from both the loom and fabric!

She said, ‘How can you say ‘I love you’ when you won’t even trust me?
Three times now you’ve toyed with me, like a cat with a mouse, refusing
to tell me the secret of your great strength.’

She kept at it day after day, nagging and tormenting him. Finally, he
was fed up—he couldn’t take another minute of it. He spilled it.

He told her, ‘A razor has never touched my head. I’ve been God’s
Nazirite from conception. If I were shaved, my strength would leave me;
I would be as helpless as any other mortal.’

When Delilah realized that he had told her his secret, she sent for the
Philistine tyrants, telling them, ‘Come quickly—this time he’s told me
the truth.’ They came, bringing the bribe money.

When she got him to sleep, his head on her lap, she motioned to a man
to cut off the seven braids of his hair. Immediately he began to grow
weak. His strength drained from him.

Then she said, ‘The Philistines are on you, Samson!’ He woke up,
thinking, ‘I’ll go out, like always, and shake free.’ He didn’t realize
that God had abandoned him.

The Philistines grabbed him, gouged out his eyes, and took him down to
Gaza. They shackled him in irons and put him to the work of grinding in
the prison. But his hair, though cut off, began to grow
again.”—Judges 16:4-22

Yesterday, as I was out buying a wedding shower gift for a friend
(shout out the Marcie), I found myself radio surfing and landing on the
Michael Baisden show (www.michaelbaisden.com). I must admit that while
I don’t agree with several of his bottom line philosophies, for the
most part, I do appreciate the fact that he is at least using his air
time to provide food for thought to his listeners.

Anyway, yesterday his topic was “Girls Gone Wild: Is your teenage
daughter out of control?” I will tell you that it was a very
enlightening and sad couple of hours (I was in and out of the car a
lot) as various young women called in to share their stories of why and
how they got into prostitution.

Some of them did it because they were homeless. Some did it for drugs.
Some did it to feed their kids. One girl had actually been pimped out
by her mother, and then there was another who was “proud” to be one
because she said it put real money (I Timothy 6:10) in her pockets. In
her eyesight, at least she was getting paid for what others are doing
for free; however, let me just tell you from personal experience, my
dear, that if you are fornicating or committing adultery, it’s never
free and with it there always comes a price (Romans 6:23).

Michael even had a couple of pimps to call in and share how they felt
about exploiting our young women. One of the things that he asked them
was, “How would you feel if someone did that to your daughter?”

Then, he had Iyanla Vanzant on to discuss why our young girls are
dressing so provocatively; why are they scantily-clad at such an
immature stage in their lives. In my mind I thought, “Hmm, so when you
become an adult, then you are mature enough to have all of your stuff
hangin’ out?”

Whatever. Never is there a time when a woman needs to be “all over the
place” in her attire, and I would venture to say that if more of us
“older gals” would set a better example of individuality and modesty
(because God did not call us to be toy soldiers, just modest—I
Timothy 2:9), we would see less thighs, belly buttons and breasts
(Titus 2:3-5) on the younger tots.

OK, but back to the prostitutes.

Yes, I too often wonder how men would feel if their daughters were
being pimped out by men in the way that some of them have solicited
prostitutes, but let’s take it deeper: I wonder how many men would feel
if their daughters were being treated in the way that a lot of them
treat women, period.

How would they feel if their daughters were being called out of their name, disrespected or lied to?

How would they feel if their daughters were in sexually irresponsible (whether it be physically or emotionally) relationships?

How would they feel if their daughters were so needy for affection that
they spent their emotional, physical and financial resources to support
a man?

How would they feel if their daughters were involved with men who had no intentions of committing to them?

How would they feel if their daughters wrapped up all of their self-worth into someone else who knew it but didn’t care?

If they’re good fathers, they would have a fit. But, what a lot of men
don’t realize is that the sowing and reaping (or if you want to call
it, karma) principle can come at you in ways that you least predict.
Remember, the Bible says that the prayers of a righteous (morally
upright) man has much power (James 5:16) and Jesus commands all of us
to treat others in the ways that we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12).

Well, your children are a part of you, right? So, if you are sexually
abusing (abnormally using) someone else, is that your way of saying
that you want someone to do that to you or the fruit of your loins? And
if you don’t, how much power can your prayers really have to prevent
that from happening if you are not living in a morally upright way?

The truth is that some of us were allowed to have children (even if it
wasn’t in the way that we planned) because God is trying to save our
lives. Sadly, a lot of us don’t love ourselves enough to live in a
righteous and holy way and so our kids have to hold us accountable
until we become mature enough to love them and ourselves (I John 4:17).

So, if you are a single father, let me just say this: If you want to
protect the livelihood of your little girls, take extreme care in how
you treat the next man’s daughter(s). Remember, a lot of God’s promises
are conditional and so if it’s the desire of your heart is to have your
daughter remain pure and chaste until marriage, then you must live in a
way that makes God happy with you (Psalm 37:4).

Now single moms, you are not off of the hook. All of this applies to you as well.

You wanna know why your daughter is always preoccupied with having a boyfriend?

You wanna know why her self-image is so low that she is more concerned with her container rather than its content?

You wanna know why she doesn’t listen to a word that you say?

Check yourself. A German Theologian by the name of Albert Schweitzer
once said that “Example is not the main thing in influencing others,
it’s the only thing.” In many ways, God agrees with this philosophy,
which is why I believe he says in his Word that unless you become as
little children (humble, innocent, deeply perceptive, kind-spirited),
you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3). Have you
ever been to the grocery store and seen a child cuttin’ up so badly
that you want to beat their mother? She shyly looks at you and says, “I
don’t know what’s wrong with him. He doesn’t act like this at home.”

Girl, whatever. Your child in public is 9 times out of 10 a direct
reflection of how life is at home. The sad thing is that by the time
many of us reach adulthood, we have been so used to lying and
manipulating both others and ourselves that the pure characteristics
that come with being a child have become tainted. Now we think it’s OK
to remarry three times before our daughter is even out of the house.
Now we think it’s cool for our “cracks” to show in our jeans while
going off on them about why they feel the need to be so fast. Now we
think it’s cool to go to church whoopin’ and hollerin’ in front of
other people’s kids only to go home yellin’ and screamin’ at our own.

And then you wonder why they are “throwin’ fits” in public. Just like
that lady in the grocery store, you’re lookin’ around claiming “I don’t
know what’s wrong with her. She doesn’t act like this at home.”

Ladies, get real with yourselves. Oftentimes, like it or not, it’s your
child who will reflect your deepest issues and dirtiest secrets.
Priding yourself into denial won’t do anything but make it worse
(Proverbs 16:18) and blaming everyone but the one that God put into the
position of power over her life (you) will only bring forth more
judgment. Don’t believe me? Check this out:

“Don’t be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is
highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest
standards.”—James 3:1

So, if you aren’t a parent, please use Planned Parenthood in the truest
sense of the term by not becoming one (meaning do not get pregnant out
of season, which is God’s conditions and timing) until you are ready.
There are a lot of people out here reaping poor harvests as a direct
result of the poor parenting seeds that they have planted. However, if
you are a parent, please take heed to all that God has just led me to
say. If you got pregnant in a way that you did not plan, remember,
there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1). A lot of you are
raising your children in the bondage of residual guilt and it’s only
making matters worse for you and your children. Either way, they are
here now and you are in a position of extreme accountability. If you
want God to restore the years that the locusts have eaten from your
past choices (Joel 2:25), will to make better ones.

A prophet in the 1800s by the name of Ellen G. White once said that:

“Eternity alone can reveal the glorious destiny to which man, restored
to God’s image, may attain. In order for us to reach this high ideal,
that which causes the soul to stumble must be sacrificed. It is through
the will that sin retains its hold upon us. The surrender of the will
is represented as the plucking out of the eye or the cutting off of the
hand. Often it seems to us that to surrender to the will of God is to
consent to go through life maimed or crippled…

God is the fountain of life, and we can have life only as we are in
communion with him. If you cling to self, refusing to yield your will
to God, you are choosing death….

It will require a sacrifice to give yourself to God; but it is a
sacrifice of the lower for the higher, the earthly for the spiritual,
the perishable for the eternal. God does not design that our will be
destroyed, for it is only through its exercise that we can accomplish
what he would have us to do. Our will is to be yielded to him that we
may receive it again, purified and refined, and so linked in sympathy
with the Divine that he can pour through us the tides of his power and
love.”—-pg. 693, Mind, Character and Personality, Volume 2.

So, what does all of this have to do with Samson and Delilah? Well, for
one, I wonder what Delilah’s upbringing was like for her to even get to
the point where a city of men could pimp her out. I wonder if she was a
living reflection of the poor job that her parents did or if, like the
wounded soul on the radio yesterday, she became a slave to the thing
that she should have power over (money).

And Samson? Well, he is “live and in living color” proof that you can
all of the physical strength in the world, but if your will power is
weak, you are weak. Here was a man who could kill a lion with his bare
hands and take out dozens of men at one time and yet he totally
destroyed his life because laid it down before the long hair and thick
thighs (in my imagination) of one woman. When it comes to Samson’s tale
of seduction, there are two texts that come to mind:

“Mark well that God doesn’t miss a move you make; he’s aware of every
step you take. The shadow of your sin will overtake you; you’ll find
yourself stumbling all over yourself in the dark. Death is the reward
of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead
end.”—Proverbs 5:21


“Pride lands you flat on your face; humility prepares you for honors.”—Proverbs 29:23

Samson is a great example of what can happen to you when you get caught
up in your sin and are prideful of your gift. Just yesterday, a
girlfriend of mine and I were discussing someone we know who is out
public speaking on relational bondage (from a spiritual perspective)
while she is shackin’ with her man. Like Samson, she’s caught up in her
sin and prideful in her gift.

I’ve been there. But what many of us don’t realize is that while gifts
come without repentance (Romans 11:29), the anointing of those gifts
can only come through sacrifice and obedience (Ecclesiastes 5:1, I John
2:26), and it’s only through the anointing of God that lives can be

Poor Samson was so intoxicated by Delilah’s beauty (remember to
intoxicate is to stupefy) that he was too “drunk” to even recall to
memory that his first wife got secrets from him in the same way that
Delilah was now attempting to. He was so cocky in his physical power
that he didn’t even use his common sense. Rather than being all caught
up in the counterfeit pleasure that she was bringing to his flesh, he
should have been asking, “Now, why would a woman be consumed to the
point of desperation concerning the secrets of my strength?”

Fellas, if you are reading this, let me warn you…again: If a woman is
aggressive about finding out your vulnerabilities and she is not your
wife, don’t be surprised if she pulls a “Delilah” on you. No where in
history was it recorded that Samson shared the secret of his strength
until he met Delilah—-a woman who did not belong to him. Remember
men, when you are intimately involved with someone who is not your
wife, you are allowing your strength to be taken from you because while
she may have the gift of a body, she is not anointed to replenish your
soul. She can only get that power through God and God only gives that
kind of power through marriage (I Corinthians 7:2-4).

You would think the Philistines running in on him every time after
telling her a secret would give Samson a clue that he was on the speed
skating on the side of stupid, but like I said, lust intoxicates.
Finally, when Delilah played the “L” card in verse 15, he weakened:

She said, “How can you say ‘I love you’ when you won’t even trust me?
Three times now you’ve toyed with me, like a cat with a mouse, refusing
to tell me the secret of your great strength.”

Fellas, a woman who tells you she loves you and then seduces you is
operating from an evil influence even if she doesn’t know it. In the
same way, ladies, when you tell a man that you love him with the
intentions of getting something out of him, that is a form of
manipulation (2 Corinthians 10:3) and with that motivation, God cannot
bless you. Remember, love is patient, love is kind, love is not selfish
or rude, love doesn’t take pleasure in evil but rejoices in truth; love
trusts, hopes, endures and does not fail (I Corinthians 13:4-8).

When you tell someone “I love you”, you are saying, “I will be patient
with you. I will be kind to you. I will not look out for my own way. I
will not enjoy the bad things that you do, but I will celebrate you
when you do well. I will trust in God’s love for you and hope that your
love for him will endure and not fail.”

There’s no way that’s what Delilah was saying because the moment he
shared his secret and went to sleep (don’t even get me started on the
need for you to watch where you lay your head), she had a man to cut
off his braids and immediately, the Philistines came to take and break

Final lesson for today: Verse 21 says that once they captured Samson,
they tore his eyes out. Now things were not clear to him in the
physical, either. Some of us are wondering why we continuously fall
into the same traps when it comes to our lustful desires and it’s
because the Enemy is so infiltrated into our minds that we can’t even
see straight.

Now it makes sense to go to church while shackin’ up (we’ll get to why shackin’ up is a problem in another chapter).

Now we feel we have a legitimate argument for why having oral sex is OK so long as we are not engaging in intercourse.

Now we let the world tell us that God’s standards in a relationship are dated and of no real relevance.

Like Samson, who, while he was bound in prison grew his hair (i.e. his
strength) back, I am living evidence that even after being torn down by
the Enemy, you can be used. But why send yourself through all of that
(unnecessary) pain and suffering? God’s Word says in Ecclesiastes 7:14:

“On a good day, enjoy yourself; on a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days so that we won’t take anything for

Over the course of many years, God tried to warn Samson about where his
lust(s) would take him. He willed not to listen and as an end result,
he had a season of lost strength before ultimately losing his life.

I too have my own battle wounds—-promiscuity, four abortions, and a
date rape just to name a few. My strength is returning, but had I
heeded the warning signs and acknowledged God in all of my ways
(Proverbs 3:6) in the first place, my path would have been very
different. God worked it out by using my testimony to help in saving
the lives of others (I Timothy 4:16), but trust me, your pure example
can be just as, if not more, effective!

Homework for today: If you are a parent, especially a single parent,
ask God to release any guilt that you have from your past. Remember,
today is all that we have the will power to change. Ask God to help you
to discern the ways in which you are living as a hypocrite to your
children. When God said to get the beam out of your eye before
attempting to remove the toothpick out of someone else’s, there wasn’t
an age restriction on that piece of advice (Matthew 7:5).

If you are a man, ask God to reveal to you where your strength lies and
to clearly discern with whom to share your vulnerabilities. Remember,
obedience to God is the root of human integrity. If “she” ain’t loyal
to him, you have no business expecting her to look out for you and your
best interests.

And finally, my ladies, if you have a history of receiving poor
parenting to the point where your self-worth has been destroyed,
forgive your parents and if necessary, even (respectfully—-Exodus
20:12) confront them—not so that they can be put on the defensive,
but so they can be made aware, from your perspective, of the damage
that was done. Parents need to be held accountable for their actions
just as much, if not more, than anyone else (James 5:16).

And then will in your life to not take the crooked road that so many
others are on. Whatever you’re doing, if it’s contrary to God’s Word, I
don’t care how many others are doing it. Remember, only eight people
made it onto the Ark. God doesn’t need a pep rally; he needs obedience:

“Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire,
easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your
spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do.
The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total
attention.”—Matthew 7:13

Class dismissed.

©Shellie R. Warren/2006