What do I do when I want to go to a sex chat room? 

That is the question that many ask themselves just before the moment–“What do I do?”  The internal tug-of-war on one’s heart in this scenario.  

The scenario could look like this: It’s Sunday night, whether you are married or single and you finally have the house (room) to yourself for a few hours.  You’ve had a long week, jam-packed weekend and now you are trying to relax before the week starts all over tomorrow.  You’re tired, glad to be alone and yet you get that small little thought in your head, “I wish I weren’t alone.”  Then the thoughts start running at full force, “I want to escape”… “I want someone to want me”…“I just need a release!”   Many of us know it isn’t limited to just those thoughts.

You have arrived at the crossroads to make a decision. It starts with the innocent decisions. The thought, “I’m going to check my email” or “I’ll just jump on Facebook.”  It’s at that crossroad where the decision must be made. The decision that can make or break your night. You’ve sat down, powered up the laptop, and now you wait for it to boot up. You’ve arrived at another crossroad.

You then start to rationalize beyond those innocent actions of email and Facebook.  “I’ll just see if anyone wants to chat for a few minutes”…“We won’t talk about sex”…“And besides, I’ll stop before it gets too heavy.”  These rationalizations can lead down the road of chaos and turmoil in one’s head. Once you’ve had the thought of “I won’t”…you’ve already gone there in your head, of “I will.”  It’s another crossroad.

The feeling that you have a little devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other shoulder becomes strong.  

What do I do?

A few weeks ago, I was in a bible study and heard the speaker speak on “those moments.”  Whether those moments are in the heat of the moment with a real person or  the temperature rising moment with the desire to go to a sex chat room, it’s that moment where one needs to stand up and say, “Give me 5.”  (i.e., a timeout!).

That solution is a difficult one, especially if the temperature is rising in the room.  My thoughts are that it’s at that moment before one clicks on “Enter the chat room” icon, that it is critical to stand up, sign off, log out, turn the computer off, and literally leave the room.   It’s that moment where it would be super-beneficial to leave the house even. Go get some fresh air.  

I’m a flight attendant and I’ve experienced some heated moments where I’ve had to leave my literally hotel room and go to the workout room to expel that pent up energy. I don’t leave until I am out of steam.  Then go back to my room and take a cold shower.  The key or answer to the “What do I do?” scenario is to not be isolated and continue to stir or rationalize decisions.  Isolation leads to bad choices. 

It can also be beneficial to have someone to call or talk to in those moments of “want.” Someone in your life that can guide you to make healthy choices, or simply talk to you until the flame of desire is burned out.  The accountability is a blessing in the long run.  It’s better to have someone to walk alongside you who can help prevent a forrest fire! Of course, the “suggestion solutions” are easier said than done; that I understand as I myself have experienced areas of desire.  

Yet, it’s best to make the healthy decision before one gets into the heat of the moment where it’s hard to stop.  If you wait too long, it’s like remodeling your kitchen when it’s on fire.  It will save you from the guilt and shame that comes with going along with it anyway.