I’m about to tell my “music age”. As I was reading an article today that was featured in (what?!?) the Wall Street Journal entitled, “Where Have the Good Guys Gone?”, all I could hear in my head was Paula Cole’s song, “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” Man, although Paula did creep me out a bit (still can’t figure out why…totally. Although the LP cover that features this song is getting me…warmer), I forgot there were music videos that had women fully clothed the *entire time*. All four minutes. Give or take. These days, that seems like a lifetime for people to keep their goodies covered up. Geeze.
Anyway, as I was reading it, I thought about another article that was hilarious (to me) but being that some of you seem to be super-sensitive (although, you’re on a site that addresses sex and porn addiction and so…well…um), I will not post it. As to not offend (I Corinthians 8:9). Basically, it was a tongue-in-cheek piece on the fact that no matter what, you’re not good enough to be married. You’re either too fat and too skinny. You’re too much of a homemaker or not enough of a homemaker. You’re too sexually experienced or not enough. Dang. Dang. Dang!
I guess this Wall Street piece and the other article are bestest girlfriends (the platonic kind), because this one ended with this paragraph (well, technically two paragraphs):
“Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man. But these rational choices on the part of women only serve to legitimize men’s attachment to the sand box. Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There’s nothing they have to do.
They might as well just have another beer.”
Hmph. What is it that Paula Cole says in her song?
“I will wash the dishes, while you go have a beer.”
OK. Now it was just in the late 90s that a man having a beer was supposedly a “manly” thing and now it’s the sign of an adolescent grown up? Again. Derned if you do. Derned if you don’t. And while I’m not sure just how serious Kay S. Homoitz is (although she has a book entitled, “Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys” and so I’m thinking that she’s probably pretty darn serious), I thought about the tone of those last two paragraphs. Give up on men? No one needs them?!?
Hmph. Funny. I really don’t have those kinds of conversations with myself. Especially these days. Now, don’t get a sistah wrong: I did more than my part of being a guy’s emotional wet nurse (some of y’all will catch that later) by taking care of them in ways that *only a mother should…and only for a certain period of time*. But you know what? The healthier I become, the less those kinds of men are apart of my space…my time…my reality. I’m not sitting here thinking, “There are no good men” because I know some. Matter of fact, ironically, *the moment I became a good woman, more good men appeared*. Hmph. Funny how *that* happens. Personally, I can’t help but wonder if for all of the women complaining about the current state of MAN-kind, have they ever done a personal evaluation on who *they* are? If they’re such a good catch and it’s nothing but losers that are baiting them, well…something just seems a bit awry in that scenario.
It’s not like I really have some deep insight into it all. If you all do, feel free to chime in. I will say this, though. Women, Christian women especially, seem to love them some Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV), “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Personally, I’d rather be “brought by God” (Genesis 2:22) than “found my man” but if you’re such a good woman, maybe it’s just not time (Acts 1:7-Message) for you to be “brought” or “found” yet. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re not as “ready for a real man” as you think you are. After all, we all know that assuming can be really dangerous and pseudo-humiliating. In the long run.
Or maybe the good men are the like John Waynes that Paula is talking about. They are so busy WORKING that they are not PINING away in some bar…or club…or over some FB account. Sometimes lacking and missing are two totally different things.
Anyway, I’m not too worried about it. If the Lord can create the world in less than a week, he can certainly bring me a *man* so that we can someday create a *boy* (Malachi 2:15) someday. In the meantime, I’m just gonna focus on Proverbs 31 and do *my* own homework. So that when the “Are you ready?” test comes, I’ll pass.
I’ll know a good man, the right man, MY MAN when I see him.
No matter how many “boys” are around.