You know, you never know how God is going to work. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Just last week, my brother, who lives in South Africa, called an international fast for those of us who were needing clarity on some things. And, while I did receive, well, some clarity on some things (thanks Jonathan), I think what amazed me most was the theme that God laid upon my heart…and the hearts of others: TO LOVE. That’s it. Just love…umm, the godly way.
One of the revelations that I received surrounding this theme was profoundly simple: God doesn’t just know the end from the beginning (Revelation 1:8)…GOD IS THE END FROM THE BEGINNING.
Several months ago, I went with Craig and the guys to the first “Porn and Pastries” event in Seattle. There, I met one young woman in particular who was battling with porn. It’s funny because here at home, some of my friends affectionately (at least I hope that it’s affectionately) call me, “Ms. Straight-No-Chaser” because I am known for shootin’ from the hip. Well, when I sat down with her, before she barely got her name out, I remember saying, “You watch porn because you think no man will want you…that’s simply not true.”
In her eyes, I knew something broke. I didn’t know her from Adam, but GOD DID.
After that conversation, we briefly exchanged some more words, email addresses, hugs and then I went on my way.
Well, that was in October.
Several weeks ago, I received an email that “Marie Claire” magazine was doing an article on addiction and they wanted a referral. Immediately, my mind went to that particular woman. It appears that many of us, without speaking, were on one accord because the young lady later wrote me to say that a few people had recommended her for the article.
Friday night, I got a Facebook message (that darn Facebook is a trip, ain’t it?!?) that she was told that her story was in the March issue and it was out. She hadn’t seen it yet, but she was excited. So was I.
Last night, while on my way to check out, “He’s Just Not That Into You” (more about that in a sec), I went to Davis-Kidd Booksellers to pick up a copy. Her testimony was actually a part of a cover feature: “The New Addictions: Why you’re at risk”.
What she shared was excellent. Here is just a brief excerpt (because I want you to actually support her and cop a copy for yourself):
“I’d never had a serious boyfriend, so I pretended the men on-screen wanted me. It gave me an identity. That I was someone’s boyfriend.”
Some simple words with a very powerful meaning. One of my favorite scriptures says that a man who fears God deals responsibly with ALL of reality. (Ecclesiastes 7:18-Message) The REALITY is that God has not brought her the man he has for her…yet. But the other REALITY is that those men on screen are not her boyfriends…they’re not even REAL (they don’t even know her and they are acting—even if some of what happens in the films are “real”, what they are supposed to be representing-great sex-is not!). WHAT THEY ARE SHOWING US IS UNHEALTHY…DEGRADING…FAKE.
And when I tell you that this March issue seems to be pretty riveting across the board…
Just a few pages back (well give or take 100), I read the feature with Jennifer Anniston, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin; the stars of “He’s Just Not That Into You”. The movie…eh, I could take it or leave it (it has a few good points though, like how a lot of us were WRONGLY taught that if a little boy hits a little girl, then he must like us…and sadly we have carried that “hit as a form of love” mentality into our grown years). BUT, the interview was good. There were some catch points that I liked, like Drew Barrymore saying that a friend of hers told her that, “Men build bridges. If they want your phone number or anything else, they will. They will build huge, massive bridges to get to you. Think Golden Gate!”
But, as they were talking about the pressures that come with dating when you are famous, there was something that disturbed me…just because I knew how dead on it is (sadly):
Drew said, “Other people and the newspapers are talking wedding bells, and you’re like, ‘We haven’t even slept together.’ Like, oh my God, ‘What is your last name again?'”
Sad ain’t it? That it’s so over the top to marry someone BEFORE sleeping with them…that it has become a crazy notion to assume that it is indeed possible. I mean, I knew what she meant…I also read what she said. The wisdom of the world truly is foolishness with God. (I Corinthians 3:19) Everyday I am praying that my husband will be able to say he married me, first. That I won’t get caught up in the “unreality” that he should get the icing before the cake for us to be considered legit. (Also check out “Holy Sex: Dating the Evangelical Way” on pg. 225. Sadly, this university showed the other extreme of non-reality!)
But that is just an additional incentive to contribute $3.99 (plus tax) to the cause of one of our own bodly stepping out to reach others (just as Christ did). After reading and processing her story, I thought about two things. One how the Bible says that when we look well to our own personality…our own teaching, our testimonies will save us and those who hear us (I Timothy 4:14-16-AMP). And it confirmed for me why God impressed upon me, just a little over two weeks ago, to create the “So, How Did YOU Know?” marriage blog for singles:
We have to get back to real love…godly love…of our Father, ourselves and those around us. We have to remember that perfect love casts out all fear. (I John 4:18) We need to stop being afraid of sharing where we’ve been, but to also change that route to get us to where we are going…to the GOOD plans that God has for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11). We have to restore true love to this earth.
Speaking of good plans, my “Seattle friend” wrote me last night to say that the went on her first date in months this weekend. A REAL DATE WITH A REAL MAN instead of some punk on an Internet screen.
See where following the model of Christ will get you? (John 10:10) Off of the couch and into a restaurant.
Thanks for sharing, my Seattle friend. God IS good!