This week, while doing some content producing for a friend of mine’s blog, I peeped the story about Robert Kennedy Jr.’s secret 398-page diary (heads up, if you write anything down, it’s not really a secret anymore). I found it interesting that he referred to his many illicit affairs with many women, during his marriage, as being his “lust demons”. And while some of you may think that this blog is going to be on adultery, it’s actually not. The Word is pretty clear on the subject (Hebrews 13:4). I’ll leave that there.
No, this is actually about secrets. And how we handle them. And can happen to us if we keep them all bottled up inside.
As I continued through the article on Mr. Kennedy’s “demons”, the first thing I thought was “So, since it’s his ‘secret diary’, why is this in the newspaper?” but that was shortly followed-up by “Ohhhhh. At some point, he must’ve wanted people to know.” I came to that conclusion because it made me recall watching one of my absolute favorite documentaries of all time: 51 Birch Street (which you can check out at 51BirchStreet.com) several years ago and watching how a deceased woman’s adult children discovered decades worth of her own diaries that they hadn’t known about prior to her death. Just a few weeks after celebrating her 50th (or 60th, I can’t remember that part at present) anniversary to their dad.
As they discovered some of their own mother’s secrets, affairs and yes, “demons”, it reminded me of how I felt when I watched how they attempted to process it all—without her presence. Unfortunately, the reality is that they went basically all of their lives not really knowing their mother at all (hmph…kinda like how the movie The Bridges of Madison County played out). And even though there were some things that the mom shared that were pretty, let’s just say unfortunate (and perhaps also somewhat deceptive), what I found to be the biggest tragedy of all is the fact that she didn’t feel comfortable enough, vulnerable enough, strong enough, trusting enough…safe enough with those closest to her to tell them while she was alive.
Almost seven years into working alongside this ministry, reading countless emails and talking to numerous women, out of all that I’ve heard (and it’s been a lot), I believe what has been the hardest part is seeing how so many people are trying to live with their secrets; their own “lust demons”. When the Word speaks of the challenges of living in darkness (Isaiah 5:20), I’m pretty sure that sin has a lot to do with it but you know what? On this side of my own healing, freedom and continual “truth telling” to my own customized accountability crew, I realize that darkness is also about living in a world that is so shut off from others that your sins, your secrets, your demons end up spiritually suffocating you, more than anything because when we try and face those things alone, they tend to overpower us…and in time, that can do just what John 10:10 speaks of…steal then kill and then destroy us—mind, body and spirit.
Interestingly enough, I have yet to hear a testimony where keeping secrets benefitted anyone.
Now that’s not to say that you need to tell all of your business to just anybody. Choose the ones who know that the Word states that “love covers” (Proverbs 10:12), but do make sure that you’re talking to somebody.
God loves you no matter what you’ve done.
People who claim to love you are only being godly when they have the same resolve as he does.
Secrets can destroy you and keep people from knowing all of who you are.
Today, talk to somebody. Please.