This topic deals strongly in relation to my last blog post, which I had removed because of the unsettlingly hostile response to it. But on the plus side, I can use it as a good example here.
Christianity requires community, and community implies accountability. But one thing I have noticed about accountability, is that it can’t simply be thrown out for all to see and offer “council” on. Like with my previous blog post for example: I opened up to all of you, and I got bit hard for it. Accountability must be shared with those whom you trust. With my previous post, I didn’t really care whether or not I offended anyone because that time in my life was over. I was moving on, and I was trying to bring healing to where it was needed. But like I’m saying right now, real, TRUE accountability must be taken with those who you are close with.
I have seen relationships happening all around me. I mean come on, I AM in America right? My friends like girls or guys and they like to date them and work towards marrying them. And day after day, I see the BS that the lack of accountability brings upon both people in the relationship. There’s no one for them to go to when times get tough or when they have a slip up. There’s no one to tell them “Hey, that thing you guys are doing with your reproductive organs… yeah that’s not exactly Biblical right now.” And because of that lack of council, babies are born, relationships are destroyed, or the couple is simply closed off to the world and won’t take part in anything else other than each other.
I have never been in a “real” relationship. I have only been in a series of quasi “puppy-love” relationships that were just strange and kind of depressing. That is where I think the idea of Christian accountability gets a little strange.
The reality is this: Dating isn’t the only form of relationship that needs accountability.
I would love to have a couple friends who I could come up to at anytime and say, “Hey such-and-such really weird situation is going on right now and it’s gnawing away at me.” And then they would know of it and I would be accountable to them. But that just requires humility on my part, as well as trust. The thing that I just think is weird is that we teenagers build all these weird relationships over the course of winter camps, text messages, and side hugs, and then are only expected to talk to people about it once we are “Facebook official.” Imagine a world where if a girl walks up to a kid she likes at winter camp and talks to him a bunch, none of that guy’s friends will laugh at him behind his back. Instead, they simply ask what’s going on between them in a nice way that doesn’t involve any smirking or “ROFL’ing.” I think a great amount of trust would be built between those friends, and that over time, that quasi-couple will be able to have some sort of accountability even though they aren’t “official.”
I believe a lot of heartache, confusion, and sexting would be done away with if that were the case. Accountability shouldn’t start when Facebook says so, it should start the moment you build trust between a person. That is simply my opinion, and I wish I would have pursued relationships like that while I was in high school.
On a very VERY side note, what in all that is holy was up with the response to my last blog post? I was just all “Hey guys, I effed up in this way, please learn from my mistakes,” and then you guys sent 3-4 paragraph responses saying in a nutshell, “You’re a disgusting person and you should reconsider your Christianity.”
Something is VERY wrong with that picture.
How old am I? Take a guess. Am I 20? 30? No, I’m 18 years old, I’ve grown up during this really terrible time in American history, and looking back, I see a great deal of mistakes I’ve made. I’m not perfect, I do NOT have it all figured out, and I can’t say I appreciate the married, middle-aged, criticism of some “Christian” weirdo blazing around the TEEN section of xxxchurch.com after having masturbated to some porn and feeling guilty about it. This website will not help you, Christ will help you. And I know you’re really pissed at whatever is going on right now in your life, but come on, grow up, for the sake of every broken hearted, spiritually aching, morally bankrupt teen you know. I know when I feel guilty I absolutely love to point my finger at people who fall into the same pits I do, but I hate myself for it afterward. That is just not how God said to live.
If I ever offended you, or you are livid with rage at me right now, feel free to write your manifesto-long responses. I will most likely read them and leave with a very sour taste in my mouth.
Sorry, just needed to get that out of my system.