First of all, God designed sex. That is of fundamental importance.

 Unfortunately, “God” is a junk-drawer word in our culture, where “god” is probably more commonly a person’s cat than the true God of the Bible. Therefore, while the true God who created sex is one with inexhaustible attributes, we must at least take note of a couple of them in relation to our topic: sex as God designed it.

 The trinitarian God of the Bible designed sex.

 The creator God of the Bible designed sex.

 The joy-filled God of the Bible designed sex.

 The all-knowing God of the Bible designed sex.

 The community-functioning God of the Bible designed sex.

 The one God of the Bible designed sex.

If man’s chief job description is to image the glory of God (which it is), then these aforementioned attributes are imperative to know and believe about Him, that we might properly reflect them to our culture and, in this case, more specifically understand them in the context of our marriages (which, by the way, is the designed context for the designed sex).

It also needs to be said that sex is good. Very good. (“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good…” – Genesis 1:31). Sex came before the fall. Somehow, along the way, some idiot religious people started to say that sex was bad, or that pleasure was bad, or that sex should only be a means of procreation and nothing else (in essence, hump your wife with your eyes closed and grimace and throw up afterwards and feel guilty that you felt good when you came even though your wife is hot or maybe she’s not hot because hedonism is bad or at least that’s what someone told you). I think that somehow the Puritans got blamed for that, but a pastor friend of mine just told me that it may have been a faulty condemnation because of a story that arose about how one Puritan elder put a man up for church discipline because he couldn’t bring his wife to an orgasm.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a bibliography to give you to justify the reliability of that story, but it sure is funny to hear about, nonetheless.

Anyway. All things are created by the God of the Bible and were made to image his glory, and sex is not exempt.

The trinitarian God of the Bible designed sex. He exists in perfect community with himself as one being in three distinct persons, and in marriage, “a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2: 24) I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but the Hebrew word “echad” is used in this verse to describe the union of Adam and Eve, as well as in Deuteronomy 6:4 to describe the trinitarian character trait of God the Father, Son, and Spirit. Sex is a sub-story that glorifying points to the Writer of the story.

The creator God of the Bible designed sex. “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it…” (Genesis 1:28) I do not yet have any children, but in reference to the idea of imaging God as a creator, I think that it is interesting that God did not need us, because he was already eternally happy and whole, and yet he created us for his own good pleasure out of his overflowing character and desire to share his joy with others. I wonder if having children is like that. I recently got to watch one of my best friends hold his newborn girl – Sawyer Jane – just minutes after she entered the world, and all I could think was that there is a depth of love completely unfathomable to me which still exists that I have yet to experience. I’d love to hear a father or mother’s thoughts on the matter – perhaps in the comments below?

The joy-filled God of the Bible designed sex. “But the fruit of the Spirit is joy…” (Galatians 5:22) and “He has told you, O man, what is good…” (Micah 6:8) When we take joy in marital sex, we image the joy of God, which is fundamental to his character, and also the joy He takes in His good design. All over the Bible, God takes delight in himself: “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well-pleased.” (Matthew 3:17) and demands that we take delight in him: “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say, rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4) Now, don’t misunderstand me – sex is not God (although unfortunately sex is often “god”), and it is also not the end-all. However, I do believe that joy is an attribute of God, and that when we have joy-filled sex (within the proper context of marriage), we glorify our good God through delight in his good gift. Song of Solomon is a perfect, uninhibited example of that – that the marriage bed is a place of comfort and pleasure and sexual experimentation and excitement and service – as designed the way that Adam and Eve were “naked and unashamed.” Simply, godly pleasure is a gift.

The all-knowing God of the Bible designed sex. “Now Adam knew his wife…” (Genesis 4:1) I know my wife Brandi better than any of you will ever know her – physically, emotionally, socially, communally, etc. The only person that knows more about my wife is God. Isn’t is good to be known? Doesn’t so much sexual sin and heartbreak and addiction and shame and whatever other fallen and cheap imitation of God’s intended design flow and fall and repeat out of the desire to be validated by another person? To be known and loved and protected and cared for? Can I ever put into words how much it means to be known by a woman, and what’s more a woman who has covenanted to continue to know me “till death do us part?”

The community-functioning God of the Bible designed sex. “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness…” (Genesis 1:26) God is eternally existing in community with himself. When Jesus comes as the God-man to earth, he learns in a community, and he begins his earthly ministry by building up a community of disciples. I think that the community aspect of sex is important. In community (ideally), people serve one another. One of the major problems with our cultural views of sexuality is that sex is almost always portrayed selfishly, when in reality, sex is predominately serving one another. Also, in community, we help one another. “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18) This could easily turn into a conversation far beyond sex itself and branch into marriage and the like, but for the sake of sticking to sex, I would simply say that God delights in the oneness that is his community, and we get to delight in the “community oneness” of our spouse, which should, in faithfulness and fidelity, grow and deepen our relationships. (Also – although this isn’t reflective of God because he is perfect – men are complete idiots and they need a good helper to kick them in the balls. Sex is certainly a giving of oneself in trust which compounds into more trust as your affections are more deeply rooted in your spouse. At least, that has been my experience in the short time that I have been married, and hope that it continues to be forevermore.)

The one God of the Bible designed sex. “…in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…” (Matthew 28:19) There is one God. We image God in sex when two become one. It is quite literally overwhelming and awe-inspiring to sit and contemplate the many creations that our Creator has specifically designed to reflect Himself. Almost like we’re a bunch of subliminal messages all over the place pointing directly back at him. It brings Romans to mind when Paul says that creation speaks of the glory of God, and so we are all without excuse at his throne. I already touched on this and I don’t want to sound like a broken record player, so I’m going to say something else: If the oneness that I experience with my wife is one-one millionth of one iota of the oneness coming with Jesus Christ at the end of the age, then I cannot possible fathom what is to come. “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:10)

I thought it would be interesting to close with a quote that is, quite honestly, probably old news to most of you, as is it a common XXXChurch stance. A couple of months ago, when I flew to LA and did a video shoot with Craig, he brought up an argument against pornography and masturbation which was, essentially, that neither of those things satisfies our sexual desires, but increase them. Recently, I heard it said this way: “The more you go towards a pleasure center, the more you create a nural pathway and habituate your body toward it… this can be pornography, this can be masturbation, this can be marriage… God’s laws exist that we would have maximum joy and pleasure. You will not be an exception to the rule of sin and death if you do not adhere to the design of God.”

If you hear me constantly drilling home the message that God designed for you to have hot, sexy sex (that’s funny) with one man (or woman, depending upon whatever the heck you are), in heterosexual marriage  – to glorify him and to bring you joy – that’s because you’re right, I am saying it constantly, and I’ll continue to drill it home. It is not bad to go or habituate yourself towards a sexual pleasure center, but don’t habituate yourself towards a crappy counterfeit.

 

“Love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.” -St. Augustine