I never knew what Onanism was till today. Me and intern UK Jon were chilling in the flowered out hotel room (see pic), up at a youth retreat on Mackinac Island MI and one of the sessions we were doing was about helping students with the temptation of Onanism.

Jon made fun of me because I didn’t know what it meant. He explained it was what many people consider to be the first and only dude in the Bible to masturbate. His name was Onan and their is record of him in the book of Genesis. Onanism is another way to say masterbation. I do not know if he was the first dude to masturbate or not..that isn’t our worry. What I do know, in light of last weeks blog, we need to laugh more.

MASTURBATION is a weird word. So I propose we straight start go back to our roots and call masturbating, ONANISM. And you thought there wasn’t a more awkward and weird word than MASTURBATION.

Onanism is more practical way of saying the Big M word. You may have heard it said “stop floggin’ the dolphin,” or “don’t spank the monkey,” (postcards available here). According to one source, that I will not reveal there are over 125,000 ways to say masturbation. Lets go way back to our roots and call it ONANISM.


You and your buddies are keeping each other accountable simply ask the timeless question: “Did you OWN IT today?” And the reply, “no man haven’t OWNED IT in awhile…

There is website out there that actually says that you can masturbate “worshiping the Lord,” they explain that it is pleasing to the Lord and is an act of worship. Brilliant guys….

Good one. STOP OWNING IT, I mean be real here. The only reason you are OWNING IT is to please yourself not God. Maybe OWN your struggle… and put some Kirk Franklin on to worship instead of OWNING IT for no purpose but to please yourself.

ONANISM is selfish act that pleases no one but yourself. God made sex for man and woman, not man and himself, or women and herself.

Please remember Onan and STOP OWNING IT…