Back in the day MC Hammer was telling us that we couldn’t touch this. I was never quite sure what we weren’t supposed to touch but I am sure it was good advice all the same. Maybe it was those trousers he wore. In which case perhaps he should have taken his own advice and stayed well away from them.
When it comes to porn there is not much better advice than ‘you can’t touch this’.
Sometimes we know instinctively that we are meant to keep away from some things. We know that porn makes us feel like crap. We know that the girls and guys in the movies we watch aren’t ours to abuse with our minds. We know that our mom might walk in any minute.
But despite all these things we ‘know’, we look anyway.
Sometimes telling yourself “you can’t touch this”, is what makes it exciting and alluring.
Other times it’s a little more subtle.
Those are the times that we need to be really on the look out.
Sometimes we end up having looked at porn, beating ourselves up about it and swearing never to go back again, but still not really sure how we ended up there in the first place.
That’s because there are always steps to looking at porn. There are always things that we end up doing that seem like no big deal at the time but really are just the initial temptations that lead us to the one big massive temptation that gets us. The jabs before the knockout.
So how do we recognise them? And how do we do dodge them?
Well here our a few things that we should all think about to keep us on the right track.
1/ Where do you look at porn most often?
Mostly people look at porn on their own and in isolation. Maybe it’s your bedroom or maybe it’s in your living room on your laptop when everyone is in bed. (We can be very creative when we want to be). But highlighting where that place is for you, can be the start to closing down lust before it can grow. Do you really need to stay up for one more minute to update your facebook status for the millionth time tonight, while everyone else goes to bed (Trust me not everyone cares). Can you maybe go to Starbucks and use their free internet to do all the ‘work’/tweeting you need to take care of? If you always end up looking at porn when you are on your own maybe that is telling you something.
2/ What else could you be doing?
The simple truth is if you have time for porn you have time for so much more. What are you missing out on? What gifts are you letting go to waste because you are too busy spanking your monkey?
The biggest compromise that porn makes is through our time. It might not seem like it in the moment but you are taking away the opportunity to be part of something incredible and life affirming when you sit with your trousers around your ankles in front of a computer screen. There are so many incredible things that we compromise when we spend time viewing porn. Maybe it is not being there for a friend who is dealing with a crap day, maybe it is not treating your girlfriend to a coffee date. Or maybe… and this might seem crazy. Maybe it could be missing out on spending time with God and growing in intimacy with Him.
If you can be creative enough to find ways to look at porn you can be creative enough to think of what you are missing out on. And then do it.
3/ It’s just a click away
Life creeps up on us sometimes but when we look back we can usually trace steps that get us where we end up. The same is true for porn. Think about the last time you looked at porn. What led you to that place? What was going on with you? Were you having a lousy day? Were you thinking about a hot girl in your class? Did you have a fight with your parents?
When we trace our steps back we can usually find massive clues why we have looked at porn. Porn is not always just one decision. It is a series of small, seemingly insignificant decisions. Like choosing to stare too long at a girl. Like skipping time with God because something more important has come up. Like choosing to believe lies that you aren’t pretty enough or worth it just because you don’t get the best grades or make the football team.
There are often a series of small compromises that we make daily in our lives that that lead us into that huge compromise of porn. Talk to your youth pastor or close friend if you need help figuring out what these are for you.
4/ Are you out of control?
It’s often easy to just say “stay away from porn.” But let’s get honest here. We are sexual beings and sometimes we just feel a bit horny. And temptation can be pretty hard to beat. I get that. So that’s when we need to really be careful about not compromising on our internet usage. Are you using x3 watch? Have you got someone you can call and will call you on a regular basis? Are you putting everything you can in place online to stop you looking even if you want to?
Most of us want to be in a place where we just don’t want to look at porn. We see that as what being Holy means. So we pretend we are there already and we use that as an excuse to not put the necessary barriers in place. But sometimes life gets in the way and our friend isn’t available or we are just having a rubbish time and porn is there for us. It’s in situations like those that we need to be uncompromising.
So if you haven’t already, install x3 watch and call your accountability buddy. Get yourself covered.
5/ And lastly but most importantly, don’t wear ridiculously baggy and multi coloured trousers while telling people not to ‘touch this’. It does not look cool and in twenty years people will still be laughing at you.
That one won’t help with porn but it will help you in many, many other ways in life.