Hide and seek was one of the first games I remember learning how to play when I was little. I’m sure part of it had to do with how simple it was, if you were “it” you walked to a corner, counted to 25 and while you did that everyone else hid. When you finally hit 25, you boldly announced that ready or not here you come and everyone that went to hide knew you were coming. For me the greatest thrill always came in the hiding, knowing they could find you at any moment always brought me a nervous excitement that was hard to contain. This game could kill hours of time and be endless fun for all involved. Unfortunately seeking accountability can me a much longer, strenuous process that is much more uncomfortable and far less fun, yet it is often where freedom begins.
In my struggle with pornography, my freedom began when I first recognized the need for solid accountability in my life. Although this is a very important step, it is far from the last step and stopping here will short-circuit the healing process in your life. The next step is about being pro-active and earnestly seeking the healthy accountability we so desperately need.
As in any healthy relationship in life, accountability is most efficient when Jesus is the beginning and end of it all. This also means that the process of seeking accountability should be completely submitted to His leadership. Effective help in this area involves transparency and humility and must be balanced. Your accountability partner will hear your greatest struggles, heartbreaking defeats and life defining triumphs. These are not moments you want to share with just anyone. This person needs to love God and truth more than they love you and have no tolerance for excuses or justifying sin. They are not your yes man or the teddy bear you cry with. They are the voice God continually calls you to what you were created to be, no matter what happens along the way.
When defeats happen they are there to pick you up, dust you off, let you know it’s ok, but at the same time refuse to let you stay there or make the same mistake again. They constantly call you to raise your game and strive for Christ above all else.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12– Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
We are never more tempted to quit than when we fall and we are alone. As you seek accountability, seek someone that refuses to give up. Look at their life and how they react in situations. When you see they don’t give up on people, you will know that they will never give up on you.
Ask the Lord to show you people like this. He cares deeply about us and desires to see His children live a life that is pure and holy before Him. He understands that accountability is a gateway to the holiness that He calls us to live at. He will always make a way for Godly things to be a part of our life.
The only way we lose the fight for purity is when we give up. Having healthy Godly accountability in your life will ensure you that no matter how many times you think you fail and disappoint God, you will always have a shining human example of how God refuses to give up on His children and continually reminds us of His promise. The accountability that is never sought will never be found, but it comes as a reward to all who diligently seek Him.