When I was in high school I was kind of a jerk. I never hit anybody or

got in a fight, but I really liked making fun of people. Making fun of

people might even do more damage than fighting, but I’m not too sure,

and if given a choice one should always choose to do neither of them.

I would talk about people behind their backs, even people I liked. In

turn, I would avoid talking to or looking at these kids because I knew

I had talked badly about them, and if they knew, they would probably

be pretty mad. My strategy was to slither around like a mean little

snake and jump into my snake hole at the first sign of confrontation.


I don’t tell this story because I’m stoked on it, believe me I’m not.

I bring this up because it is a good example of a certain aspect of

human nature. When we wrong somebody we want to avoid them. In our

heads we know that when we meet, everything is going to come out and

it’s going to suck. We do this with our parents, our friends, and even

our teachers. If I walk into a class knowing that I blew off the

homework that is due that day, I’m not going go in feeling like a

spring chicken, it’s embarrassing. Unfortunately this carries over

into the way we view and treat God. If I’m doing things that I know go

against what God wants, I will avoid talking to him or thinking about

him. I have found that the sin of lust, especially when it is coupled

with porn, puts the biggest mental barrier between myself and God.


If I look at porn, the last thing I want to do Is put on some worship

music and spend time with God, I feel like I have just taken ten steps

back in my relationship with him. This of course is silly because

looking at porn is no worse in God’s eyes than lying, and no better

than murder. It’s all the same to Him; it’s all missing the mark.

Getting this fact through your head takes a lot of work. One has to

completely reprogram how he or she thinks about God and his view of

sin. This can and should be a good thing. God is not disgusted with

you, he sees all sin as the same, he knows everything that you have

done and will do, and still loves you. In fact he says that when he

was being killed on earth, he looked right at you, saw all of the

filth accumulated during your entire life and “Yes. This is worth

dying for”.


If you are reading this I will go ahead and assume that

you view pornography as harmful in one way or another, and it is, but

I want to encourage you to avoid letting the embarrassment of looking

at porn cause you to shy away from God. Instead, let it cause you to

bring those failures and that dirt right to him, he would love to take

it off your hands. All he wants is room to work in us, and ignoring

him when we mess up denies him that chance. Loving God does not mean

never messing up, it means that we are constantly trying to do better.

God wants to make us perfect, and perfection has to start by doing the

best you can. Don’t forget that God gave us the Holy Spirit to help us

out, to walk behind us and push us toward becoming little god men and

women. When you trip, he will help you to get up and try again, but

you have to try. So have joy! God brings light and freedom and wants

you to have both in full. The return for those who love Jesus is never

ending joy and love, which He gives freely to us if we let Him.