Have you ever been so overcome with your guilt or your temptation and your own sense of shame that you just want to give up. You keep telling yourself this will be the last time. But you keep ending up at the same place.
You make promises such as
“Like I said last time, it won’t happen again”
You know that you need to give up porn, or anything that you know is ruining your life. But you don’t really want to. Is porn that really big of a problem? What’s the big deal if we keep looking at porn? Does it really make that much of a difference?
Some people would argue it doesn’t. So why waste our time on it. Some would say it spices up our sex lives. Some would say that it hugely affects us. But who is right?
The thing about porn is it is completely selfish and when you look at porn it makes you completely selfish. Think about it. Is there anything more selfish than sitting down in secret to pleasure yourself in front of movies of girls you don’t even know, some of who have been exploited to ‘entertain’ you despite the fact that you may be in a relationship? Maybe you aren’t in a relationship though. Does that make a difference?
I know that I would use that excuse in my mind so many times. I know that when I was single I would think, “well really who am I hurting?” No one was the answer I would come up with. But was that true?
The reason I looked at porn so much was because I didn’t know I was loved. And when you don’t know that, it’s easy to just love yourself and get the comfort and security and purpose that love provides from somewhere else. For me. Mostly porn.
But whether I am in a relationship or not. Or whether you are a Christian or not. Porn does one thing. It distracts us from our purpose.
I wasted so many opportunities and so many chances to live for something bigger than myself. I think back and remember complete days and weeks I wasted. I did that because I had become distracted.
I had lost my focus.
When you really understand that you are loved completely and unconditionally something great happens. You quit having to love yourself. You become free of that. We are human and no matter who you are, you will have doubts about who you are, what you are supposed to be doing with your life, and your direction.
Love sets you free from that. Love lets you feel alive again.
It gives you a purpose and a calling. And whatever it is specifically, ultimately it has to be about loving others. Does porn really provide that? Personally I don’t think so. It didn’t for me and I know it doesn’t for millions of others.
But when we start to love others, porn doesn’t seem so attractive. When we are secure in God’s love and who we are, porn seems less and less likely to help us with…well whatever it is we are searching for.
Maybe it is not something that you can just read about. Maybe God’s love and the amazing feeling that loving others brings is something that you have to live out.
Is that a challenge? Yes.
Is it worth it? Absolutely.
Surround yourself with people who love you and love others and see if porn gives you the same satisfaction.
Surround yourself with a God who loves you forever, no matter what, and see what happens then.