We caught up with Matthew on the road with his band My Children My Bride. Here is what he had to say in our Voices series.
Temptations on the road:
For me, I’m a straightedge guy. I don’t drink or smoke or do anything like that. I guess that’s not really a temptation for me because I’ve already chosen not to do that. But for other people, falling into like drinking all the time and every single night, I know that’s a huge thing for friends of mine. Its always there, you’re always at bars or places that serve alcohol. I’ve toured with friends who have said “I’ve basically become and alcoholic”. You drive all day, get to the venue, load in , rarely get a sound check then you just sit around all day. You’re in a new town, you just sit around and drink all day. That’s definitely a temptation for a lot of people. Other stuff being girls, obviously. These girls get all dolled up and come to metal shows and some of them aren’t even looking for anything and some girls are just going out for the night looking to hear live music but band guys get these “tour goggles” where its overwhelming how many girls are there and saying “Oh, you’re in a band! Let’s talk!” It’s definitely always a temptation if you’re out of a relationship and a cute girl is there to see your band and buy merch, why not say hi? We try to remain strong and even if we see another guy in the band talking to her its like “dude, no, she’s gross (laughs) or “She’s not cool”. We’ve been touring the country for so long now that we do have quite a few friends who come and hang out with us so usually our time is taken up by time with people we have a relationship with.
Thought on Porn:
I talked with someone about this recently who was struggling with stuff like that. They were having a really hard time coping with their problem. We’re in 2012 and the internet runs everything. Literally everything is at your fingertips or your phones or anywhere you go you have access to anything you want. As a man, with the entertainment industry, with sex selling, it’s a struggle for anybody with all that being so easily accessible. As a man, that desire is something everyone goes through. Its something that any man struggles with. I’ve definitely struggled with stuff like that in my past whether I was in a relationship or not it obviously affects your outlook and your view of how to treat women and how they needed to treat women, especially going with what the Bible says about how you treat people and women that you love. I think the industry as a whole and capitalizing off women and them exposing themselves for profit is just ridiculous. It’s almost as bad as trafficking in other countries or selling people or women selling themselves. It sucks and that’s not what women were designed for. Its unfortunate that that industry is so overwhelming and so successful. Its definitely something that I always keep in my prayers. I know that XXXChurch was on the Fight the Silence tour and being able to work with Levi and Brandi and being able to talk to people and support that ministry is definitely something that MyChildren MyBride takes a lot of pride in supporting.
For me personally, if I’m in a relationship with a girl then I’ve been pretty good about being accountable. I hold that responsibility of being accountable to the relationship very highliy in my life. I have a lot of friends that come out and a lot of them happen to be female, which is funny. I know in the past some of my girlfriends have had trouble and been like “Why do you know a pretty girl in every city? What’s the deal?” I’m like “I swear nothing is going wrong”. But that does actually help me, having someone in a city who is taking up my time, who I get to spend time with, htat helps a lot more than sitting around a venue trying to talk to girls, or girls trying to talk to me, or whether its Twitter or Instagram or anything, its always somewhere that females are trying to talk with musicians, its just part of the industry. As far as accountability amongst our band, we all try to keep each other and be like “Dude, don’t talk to her” or “I know somebody that talked to her etc”. Every city has the same kind of girls who go to shows and if you don’t know who they are, then someone you know does and its just like stay away from those people who just want the attention from band people.