BOB FROM XFANZ
On Dirty Little Secrets Show #60, we spoke with Bob from the adult entertainment industry. If you have not listened to it, get it now. Bob posted a blog on his site and sent us this email we wanted to share with you. We want to say thanks again to Bob for coming on our show and after reading this email want to make sure we definitely gave him a chance to share everything he wanted to even the stuff we talked about after the interview was done. Thanks Bob for keeping us in check.
Bob Preston here, from XFANZ again. I listened to the new XXXChurch podcast, and I wanted to follow up with you guys.
• Early in the podcast, I mentioned that the United States was seeing a drop in sex crime rates. One of you asked me where I had heard that, and I didn't answer. I wanted to apologize and make clear that I wasn't ignoring the question -- I just didn't hear it.
The best numbers on this subject come from the U.S. Department of Justice's Bureau of Justice Statistics. Please note that these numbers include attempted and completed rapes: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/glance/rape.htm
• I also wanted to follow up on the closing segment of the show. After I went off the air, the two of you took the time to dismantle some of my arguments. Fair enough -- I had listened to a few of your podcasts before appearing on this one, so I knew what I was getting into.
But with respect, you both built several straw men that I would like to clear up here:
1. Craig, I believe you said that Ron Jeremy would defend "all" of porn -- referring to extreme hardcore porn -- while I wouldn't. I believe you said that at dinners, Ron might say, "Yeah, I might try to shut this stuff down over here," but that he would never say that in a debate.
I would never say that. I didn't say it in our podcast, and I wouldn't even say it at dinner.
In our podcast, however, I did say this in reference to extreme hardcore porn:
"There is not a fine bright line, and when it comes to -- this is where the free speech part of it kicks in, and I am nothing if not a first-amendment hawk, however, that is not going to stop me from promoting the good stuff over on this side of the not-very-well defined line."
Encouraging the production of the kind of porn I like doesn't mean I wouldn't defend the right of other people to make extreme porn that I hate. Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis put it better than I ever could: "The best remedy for bad speech is more speech, not enforced silence."
But in this case, I concede that I wasn't totally clear on this subject, which veers into a whole fascinating array of free-speech issues.
2. Craig, I believe you said that I would agree with Ron Jeremy that what XXXChurch does is good. With respect, one or both of you made that assertion during the podcast and then immediately asked me a question. You never directly asked me what I thought of the XXXChurch mission.
That said, I'm still surprised you attributed that opinion to me, given my laundry list of grievances with Christianity, my diametrically opposed views on sexuality, masturbation and pornography, and the fact that I said, "I don't agree with everything you do."
Suffice it to say that my feelings about XXXChurch are far more mixed than "What they do is good" -- but like the free-speech issues involved with extreme porn, that's a whole other fascinating discussion.
3. J.R., I think you said that because I wouldn't tell my mother what I do for a living (even if she were mentally healthy), that means what I do is bad. The exact words were, "The reason this guy would have a hard time telling his mom, or telling anybody what he does for a living is because what they're doing, it just is not cool."
With respect, that's a dreary kind of "gotcha" rhetoric that I encounter from time to time, in and out of the adult industry. It's not unique to Christians, and I've even employed it myself. Besides the faultiness of the logic behind that argument, I roundly disagree with you.
But as with my first two points, I'll leave my more detailed answer for another time. I'll be so bold as to say it's a pretty interesting answer.
I'm looking back at my e-mail now and chuckling at its length. Gentlemen, I know you're busy, and if you've read this far, I thank you.
Of course you guys know I back xxxchurch and all, but it is true... sometimes who do adapt things to try to get our point across.
I love the way Bob brings correction in a very non argumentative fashon, and I think his dialog style is great!
I also understand where XXXCHURCH is coming from - again, I think this was a tremendous podcast - very well done, and very mature all the way around.
Good job guys!
Just dropped in and saw some great comments. I'd like to respond.
1. Philip, you said: "I think there is some relevance in the fact that he wouldn't tell his mother. After all, there has to be a reason he wouldn't tell his mother. If porn is perfectly ok, why wouldn't he tell his mother?"
Philip, in my e-mail to Craig and J.R., I dismissed this argument as "gotcha" rhetoric. Here's what I'm getting at:
I have several friends who are journalists and lawyers, and not all of them tell everyone what they do for a living, because a lot of people have a lot of wrong-headed conceptions about journalists and lawyers.
(Side note: I have a very good friend who is an *evangelical Christian,* and he *very seldom* reveals this to people. I realize that a religion isn't your job, but the comparison seems apt.)
Does their hesitance to tell someone what they do for a living automatically mean what they do is bad? No -- it just means that we're not always ready, willing or able to argue -- in some cases loudly -- for what we believe in.
But why is J.R.'s argument "gotcha" rhetoric?
I mentioned on the podcast that I've told all three of my siblings what I do. My best friends are also all well aware of what I do -- but that apparently doesn't matter. I haven't told my mother. Gotcha!
This argument bugs me not only because J.R. ignored how forthright I've been about my profession, but because I suspect that if, for example, I had told my mother but not, say, my sister ... or one of my brothers ... or anyone ... that the "gotcha" would have still kicked in.
2. Scott, you asked me what my "laundry list of grievances of Christianity" is. No problem.
Let me be clear: I have the greatest problems with evangelical Christianity -- the current conservative strain of the religion that has sprung out of the Protestant wing. I have issues with Catholicism, too, but my problems tend to be the same, regardless of sect.
My main problems are:
1. The idea of the personal god. Specifically, the idea of a god you pray to or ask for stuff, or who intervenes in earthly affairs.
2. The idea of original sin.
3. The ideas of heaven and hell.
4. Biblical literalism.
I'll refrain from launching into detailed analyses of what's wrong with these ideas, but that's a start.
3. Jay, thanks for the kind words, and likewise. What I like about exchanges like these (and what I like about how Craig and J.R. have been handling my nascent involvement with XXXChurch) is how we've opened up a marketplace of ideas.
