EIGHT REASONS NOT TO...

Point by point criticism...
1. It's never made me or anyone I know feel alone or self-centered. Where is your evidence for this?
2. Did Jesus eat food? I bet he did... what selfish thing to do.
3. Maybe for some people but if you maintain a healthy attitude about it, it'll stay that way; healthy!
4. An elaborate scheme??? Could you finish your thoughts? What do you mean "makes people into objects"??? You mean how the old testament makes women into objects?
5. Your just making stuff up now aren't you?
6. So does food, exercise and pretty much any activity. Don't try to use science in a clearly unscientific argument.
7. Actually its the exact opposite. It helps you perform better when you do have intercourse for a few reasons. One obvious reason, you know your body.
8. I agree with you! But you can have a healthy amount of all those things INCLUDING masturbation.

I know I just wasted my time because I know you don't want this kind of rational thinking on your site but this list just made me sad so I had to do something even if its pointless...

@ Andrew - ummm these aren't my own thoughts, sorry dude....these are from an expert that writes booksss and has degreees, so check out original article linked above....and i dare you to give it up for 20 days....

Point by point to Andrew's point:

1. I can testify that it does. It causes to isolate from other people. Don't believe me. Stop masturbating for a month, and then notice all this energy that you now have. That energy was sucked out by Masturbation, and was intended to grow relationships.

2. Food is a necessity, masturbation is not a necessity. Lots of people don't masturbate. If you see masturbation like your need for food, you may already have a problem. Like Brandon said, give it up for a month.

3. The link between masturbation and ojbectification is obvious. You train your brain to think sex is about getting yourself off through masturbation. Your sex partner becomes a tool to help you climax, not a person you have to relate to during and after the sex.

5. You obviously have never been to a sex addiction support group. I shared this revelation that masturbation when dealing with painful, or anxious feelings, from whatever difficult life circumstances causes you rely on it like a crutch.

6. You don't know your science. Orgasm gives you the highest neurological reward, more than exercise. that is why when you become addicted to the rush of chemicals it is so hard to break the habit. You don't know the research at all, do you?

7. You are a little bit right in that respect that you know your body better. However, once you train your brain through masturbation to recieve the highest reward through the quickest route, you become a lousy lover that can last and relate to your partner at the same time. Why do you think women complain about the fact that so many men don't know foreplay!?

8. There is no healthy amount of soda pop, period. Biting your finger nails shows a lack of self control. God created for adolescents and adults to have healthy sexual release without masturbation. It's called wet dreams. While you should never beat yourself up if you masturbate, masturbation is a trap that is best avoided.

7: should read "you become a lousy lover that CAN'T last and relate to your partner at the same time."

no offense
but masturbation is actually very healthy
http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation.htm

and saying masturbation is lust, thats not true. you can masturbate without lust (ie without porn, not thinking about porn). in fact, its pretty much impossible to not be lustful, and isnt that one of the 7 deadly sins? You honestly cant tell me that you dont ever think about someone like an "object"?

i agree with everything andrew said.

"However, once you train your brain through masturbation to recieve the highest reward through the quickest route, you become a lousy lover that can last and relate to your partner at the same time."
Bullsh*t. I masturbate all the time (and no offense, but I do not plan to stop any time soon) and I am a great lover.

"Why do you think women complain about the fact that so many men don't know foreplay!?"
Assuming that foreplay means touching, does the bible not forbid anything other than a penis to go in a vagina?

@ Bob - just fyi this is the teens blog, do we need to card you? And Jesus says blatantly that looking at a women with lust in your eye, is that same as doing it in your heart.

Just looking? Jesus does not just mean "looking" he means it is about your heart, you think it you do it. So, i conclude that touching etc, is lust....Jesus said do not lust over women you are not married to. Ouch, harsh yea, hard not to do, yea. But i am going to follow the words of Jesus seriously over COOLNURSE.com....

It is not about blurring the line of what i can do, that is just selfish all you are doing is thinking about yourself. What about your wife, kids, and umm God? It is a pursuit to stay away from lust. You have to decide to be on the pursuit or decide to settle. The best things in life are not easy. Masturbation is easy. A cheap substitute. Following Jesus is hard sometimes, it is not all fun and games, or could we say, it is not all masturbation and games..

Quoting a website to back up the assertion that masturbation is healthy is no better than saying "I said so." Plus murder can be good for your health too if the person was stressing you out, but that doesn't justify it. So you'll have to do better than "because it's healthy."

Second, lust does not equal porn, though it might involve it. Just because you're fantasizing about the girl in your chem class instead of the girl on the computer screen doesn't make it right. Jesus said in Matthew 6:27
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
To masturbate while thinking anything sexual is to commit adultery in the heart. If you can masturbate while thinking about pepperoni pizza I applaud you, but I don't envy you 'cause thats just strange.

Third, thank you for your testimony to the fact you are a "great lover." But I would invite you to do a poll among girls and ask, "would you rather have a guy who masturbates four times a day or one who saves it all for you?" and see the responses. Tell your "lover" the honest truth - you're not enough for me so I'm going to masturbate to make up for you.

Finally, 1 Corinthians 6:12 -
All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.
Are you mastered by masturbation? Does it control you? If you can't give it up for a week or a month the answer is yes. Who really wants to be a slave to masturbation?

I have to agree with Brandon in the points that he makes.
From my experience, being a young man and not masturbating is in no way an easy thing (breaking a multiple-year-habit).
My decision to stop was made from hearing two peoples ideas which both make total sense to me. First was from a guy in a Christian rock band who said that seeing as sex is designed for marriage and not before, he did everything in his power to avoid anything that will make him have the desire to have sex, and obviously that includes masturbation. The second was from Mark D from Mars Hill church who explained that the Bible and Jesus speak of Lust as a sin, and porn is pretty much designed for lust, (anything otherwise is new to me), porn is for masturbation. That makes it a voluntary in my eyes (no one else is making you do it!). Now if anyone can masturbate without ANY kind of lust or desire of the flesh, I will be shocked...

My opinion and decision was based on an agreement with another Christian and the Bible.

Thanks for your great work in making people feeling bad about themselves... keep the faith!

Actually...

I myself used to agree with most/all of the points given by the anti-masturbation crowd. But a read of (& pray over) Dr Steve Gerali's well-written book "The Struggle" has changed my mind somewhat.

Point 1. I don't see how masturbation sucks your energy for relating to others. I've had periods of several weeks where I haven't masturbated and haven't noticed this. I do it now - and have had some of the best relationships I've ever had.

I can see that porn really messes up our relationships with others, though.

Point 2: How is thinking about yourself wrong?
Having a 'self' is not the same as 'selfishness' - check out those "Boundaries" books by Dr Cloud & Townsend. Taking care of yourself (in the right way) is not hurting others.

Point 5: Masturbation CAN be used to hide from your problems - but it doesn't have to be. Many many things can be used as crutches, but I don't see how it has to be one. (Yes, I have read the article)

Taking 1 Corinthians 6:12 seriously, I can honesty say it is not an addiction that I can't give up. I don't have to have lust to be aroused and masturbate - though again, porn is totally off-limits.

"My opinion and decision was based on an agreement with another Christian and the Bible."

So is mine - TWO Christians even! Not including Dr Gerali. (Actually, one of them is my mentor, so I'm not just talking to people who I think will agree with me.)

My turn to comment on probably eight of the WEAKEST arguments against masturbation in the history of mankind.

1. Masturbation makes you feel alone and deepens self-centeredness.

-- Is that a proven scientific fact or just a lame observation? Answer... a LAME observation. First of all what is wrong with feeling "alone"? And if whacking off deepens your self-centeredness, then you clearly aren't doing it right. We all need some "ME" time once in awhile. And besides, jerkin it is good for prostate health. I'm not going to risk prostate cancer over worrying if someone thinks I'm a self centered S.O.B. for taking a 5 minute stall break after lunch.

2. Masturbation is all about you. The opposite of the way Jesus lived.
-- SO? What is the problem with it being about me once in awhile? Am I a bad person if I go and donate 5 bags of clothes to Good Will and then go home and rub one out in the toilet? Poor people are still going to get my charitable donation.

3. Masturbation takes you deeper and deeper into porn and sexual fantasy.
-- This is probably the most ridiculous comment yet. First of all, it's the other way around nimrod, second of all... SO WHAT? If people don't have an outlet to vent their sexual feelings in a safe way, would you rather it gets pent up and more sex crimes are committed?

4. God designed people to have spouses not objects. Masturbation makes people objects. It is an elaborate scheme...
-- UH... no "HE" didn't. Marriage is a man-made thing. God designed people to procreate. Now regarding your "elaborate scheme" comment. Did you fall asleep and forget to include the rest of your unfounded string of nonsense?

5. Masturbation programs you to hide your problems.
-- Again.. PROVE IT. What problems?? The fact that I don't get paid enough at work? The fact I don't get laid enough? What?? Masturbation programs nothing.

6. The chemicals that are released during masturbation can make you rely on it to help you with pain, similar to drugs.
-- That is a load of BS and you know it. What if someone else (my wife) is masturbating me? Does that mean she is holding the proverbial crack pipe??

7. Masturbation prepares you for short, quick sex. Far from what God made sex to be.
-- AHHHH so God is into marathon sex is he? Do premature ejaculators automatically go to Hell then? What if I use lubes that numb my penis and I'm able to jerk it for 30 mins... does that prepare me for the kind of sex that God intended? Or is 45 minutes more God's style?? You are a nitwit.

8. Learning about your body is part of growing up. Habits, like biting your nails, drinking too much mountain dew, or being addicted to video games are not good for you, either is a habit of masturbation.
-- How about this... learning about your body is part of growing up. End of statement. Again where is the scientific proof that masturbation is bad for you? You know whats bad for me? Reading the rantings of people who are ignorant as hell preaching moronic BS who have Internet access.

@ stu g

2 you're right - have a self is not the same as self-centeredness. But you're missing the point. The original intent of sex is for one to connect to a wholly Other - other independent person. this is the point of sharing an intimacy. Masturbation does provides sexual release, but at the cost learning to relate to another person - which is the point of sex in the first place!

I also think that Brandon's original post is about masturbation as a response to one's relationship to Pornography. I do believe that people can masturbate without lust (althought much rare - Read Sex, Men and God - by Doug Weiss). But Brandon's post was about masturbation in relationship to porn - lust.

Compulsive masturbation can also be a response to trauma, whether is be physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Sometimes this trauma has happened before we can recall it (ie, I was abandoned by my mom for a week, i Had always had my hands around my genitals since I was a child to and adults as a way a calming myself down dealing with anxiety).

Lastly masturbation can be a healthy part of foreplay in sex. But if you have already developed a habit of masturbating by yourself with porn, or masturbating while recalling lustful images, you have closed yourself off from another person, and your sexual response has become a selfish thing.

Lastly, give it up for a month. See whether you control it or it controls you.

I find it very interesting that those of you who have responded against Brandon's article are apparently angry and using language that would suggest that you are very defensive about this. Why are you getting so defensive? This is supposed to be an open forum. You can disagree all you want, but why do it with so much anger? I would dare to say that your angry because deep down inside, if you claim to follow Jesus, you know that it's wrong and you're trying to rationalize what you desire.

I have found in my life journey, as I battled and overcame masturbation addiction, that when people started to confront me about my problem, or even when someone took a definitive stance against it I would instantly become defensive.

When I was first married, I still struggled with my masturbation addiction, and it affected my marriage. I would become angry with my wife if she didn't want to have sex every single day. I had become more aggressive with her because of my addiction to masturbating. It was all about my need for release and not on loving her.

Does masturbating improve your overall health? Sure. But then again so does sex which the end result is the same.

So, my question to all who oppose the original thought is......

If masturbating is okay then why can't you talk about it openly and without anger to those who disagree with you?

Mookie, most people can't talk about it openly because of judgmental people like some on this website. Nobody likes to be treated by others like there's something wrong with them. If we lived in certain parts of the world, and said things like... "Women should be treated equally with men," we'd be ostracized. Does that mean there is something wrong with that statement? No. But people who feel that way in certain parts of the world will stay silent... simply to avoid the scorn of their less enlightened countrymen.

Also... I consider my own sexuality a mostly private business. I choose who I share it with, and the number of people who make that list is small. Sexuality in general is a topic that many people freak out about, and frankly, it's none of anyone's business except those people who I choose to have sex with.

And have you also considered.... your same argument could be used against religion. You see Dobson's recent rant about Obama's views on the bible? Why was Dobson so mad? Why so much anger?

If the measure is how angry a topic makes people in general, how defensive they get when it's discussed, then religion is suspect #1 on that list. I'd love to hear your answer for why that is.

Uh... mr. mookie wilson... you are FLAWED my friend.

Sex and masturbation do NOT have the same end result. If they do for you, then you are doing something horribly wrong. Masturbation is all about ME, sex is all about HER, THEN it's ALL about ME. And besides... sex is for having children. UNLESS of course I decide to leave my seed on her back or down her throat.

And one last thing... Masturbation "addiction" only becomes problematic if you do it in public and it's not on the set of a porn movie.

Here is 2 cents for you... now go buy a clue.

@Conner,

I'm sorry I find your assertion that people pro-masturbation are defensive because people attack them. There are really three groups of people who come to this site: people who are addicted who are looking for help, people offering help, and people criticizing both groups for asserting that a problem exists in the first place. You're right, no one likes to feel like something's wrong with them. But I would add no one likes to feel invalidated when they have a problem and they get answers like " You don't really have a problem" or " you only think you have a problem because you're part of a religion" etc. I'm sorry to break it to you, but the site is for those who have a problem with sexual addiction as it relates to porn. Many of the people I meet who have this addiction are non-religious. If you follow this thread, you'll realize the only people attacking and insulting anyone personally was Andrew and Andy.

Thanks for an interesting discussion. I'm one who has struggled with masturbation for YEARS and has recently achieved victory (I’m no longer a teen, but hope to offer some insight).

To those of you have think all this discussion about masturbation rather silly or prudish, I would suggest that the issue is not so much about masturbation but rather, where do we stand in relation to our creator - God?

If you're not thinking or concerned about God, then yes - this discussion will seem pointless. But if you are serious about wanting answers to the question about why we exist on this planet - how would our creator have us live, then the question of the rightness of masturbation and pornography take center stage.

In the end I think that those who struggle with masturbation/pornography need to understand that it is not so much that we not to STOP this behavior, it is that we need to START something else. Ending the habit of masturbating to pornography will only be satisfactory if we find something to fill the void that is left. And you MUST seek to fill that void with a satisfaction that is much deeper than what masturbation offers. And that satisfaction will only be found in a right relationship with Jesus Christ.

Recently I have been meditating on Psalm 63. You must remember that God is the creator - the INVENTOR of sexual pleasure. Even for those who don’t masturbate, but are in a committed, loving relationship with your spouse need to understand and grasp onto the idea that sex is merely a COPY of the real thing. If you think that the pleasure of this copy (sex) is great, just imagine the experience of joining with the inventor of all pleasure. Sex is just a sip, just a foretaste of the real thing.

Here is some of Psalm 63:
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6 when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you…
http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Psalms+63

God gives everlasting satisfaction. Cry out to him to satisfy your soul.

Hi all,

This is a difficult subject and needs to be considered in a graceful manner. It hard not to want intimacy especially as we are wired that way, and I think its worth reading C.S Lewis's Mere Christianity as he helps to put sexual desire and our difficulties with it in place with other desires, money, control , food etc .
For me I do not wish to masturbate but if I fail I see it as me trying to buy a fake Ferrari but God doesn't hate me for it.

@ craig - i totally track with you on that...

"For me I do not wish to masturbate but if I fail I see it as me trying to buy a fake Ferrari but God doesn't hate me for it."

Masturbation has always been a hot topic (no pun intended) but it has recently been studied to a greater degree about its link with colon cancer. Studies suggest that regular masturbation, when a partner is not available, actually keeps the colon healthy and a cut the risk of getting colon cancer. But does religion rule over science on this one?

@ Wil

The problem is... the "logic" that is being used in this discussion is downright absurd at times, and yes, you can actually damage the people you intend to help through this kind of "assistance". If I grew up in a household that told me that eating carrots was immoral, a sin, unhealthy, etc., and worse, the community gatherings that I went to perpetuated that idea... well guess what... there's a VERY good chance that I'd feel guilty and sinful if I suddenly had a strong desire to eat a carrot and gave into it.

I use that absurd example to explain how ANYTHING can be turned into the "problem" if you use the kind of logic that's in use on this website.

So now, let's assume that this environment DOES exist where someone thinks eating carrots is harmful... but they have no evidence as to why it's harmful other than how OTHER people react to them when they find out that they eat carrots.... and let's say this person comes to us for advice. What do we say? a) Yeah, you've got a problem, you should resist eating carrots! or b) There's nothing sinful, immoral or harmful about eating carrots and the problem isn't with YOU, it's with the people TELLING you that you have a problem.

Which approach would you take?

You're right that I'm of the category that doesn't think masturbation is a problem. At least, not a REAL problem. I see it as an artificially created problem, perpetuated by one passage in the Bible that is misunderstood.

How could someone say that one can masterbate without lusting? Why would you want to masterbate unless you were sexually aroused in the first place? Quit kidding yourself. It all starts with a lustful thought brought on by sexual images or your own imagination. Cut those out and violla! No more masterbating.

Jon I appreciate what you said about how this is an issue about where we stand in relation to God. You're right....if we don't care about God then this whole issue really is pointless! I also agree with Austin that to masturbate without thinking of anything sexually is impossible.

Let's face it.....what it really comes down to is are we more focused on living life the way we want, or are we more focused on being in a relationship with Jesus where He helps guide us on the best way to live our lives?

As for your response Andy, I'm sorry that I've angered you further that was never my intent. I thought this was a blog about openly discussing things that people are dealing with not a place where we can bash each other behind a computer screen. You're right that sex and masturbation, even though they have the same result (Sexual release), they are quite different. Masturbation is all about YOU and YOUR release, but Sex can be all about YOU and YOUR release as well. I'm not saying that is the case for you, but that is what I was trying to communicate.

And you're right....I AM FLAWED! I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. We are all flawed and it's only by God's grace that we are saved and even have meaning in life. I don't have it all figured out, but God does and that's why I follow Him and that's why I try to live a life that is honoring to Him. Sex/masturbation/etc. is not a human need, it's a desire and a want. It should be something that is reserved for a special marriage relationship. I don't want to share my desire with anyone else, but my wife and that includes sharing it with just myself.
My sexuality is a gift that according to the Bible, is meant for my wife and her only.

I appreciate the 2 cents, but I don't really need them.

No one ever told me it was wrong ever, but I think if you are listening (to God or your concience or the fact that its so readily accepted) you know its not good for you.
I tossed (ahem) and turned with this one until I had a dream (definitely from from God) in which I had sex with my mom - it shocked me a heck of a lot and then God told me that masturbating was the same as this - it was incest (are there any closer family members than yourself?) that dream so shook me up and opened my eyes to how God saw it, that I haven't touched it since (man the puns available to this topic are hilarious!)
Oh and and a big YES to 7, i could sum it up as masturbating = very one-sided sex life.... which come to think of it, you might as well be masturbating.

Connor

I appreciate your response! To answer your post....

I think people respond with anger, when talking about religion, because religion is not God created thing. It's man made. Christianity is based on the Word of God, but it's not Christianity, or the religion of it that gives us salvation....it's all about having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I follow the practices of Christianity, but at the end of the day all that really matters to me is my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. People will respond with anger when they're focused on man and the things of man. If people are focused on God, Jesus and the things that are important then I think you'll see a response, even though it may be different or disagree with your own, it should be filled with truth, grace and love.

I did hear Dr. Dobson's comments about Senator Obama and I didn't get the impression that he was responding with anger. After all, he was giving a response to a few harsh comments that Obama had given him. I think Dr. Dobson was just trying to clear up some of the things that were said in Obama's speech. I'm not even a huge fan of Dr. Dobson, but to say he was responding with anger during that interview....I'm not so sure about that.

I also agree that sexuality is mostly a private issue and should be shared with a small list. Hopefully that list has only one name it....your wife, but that's not exactly what this blog is for. I don't think Brandon or XXXchurch wants people to openly share, this is meant to be a safe place where people who have problems, or want answers, or who want to better understand what God views sex as then they can come and openly talk about it. I'm sorry you feel if people on here are judgemental. I'm sure that's no one' s intent. None of us on here are perfect, but for those who truly follow this Love God and want to help people who honestly want to understand what God says about sex and all it's topics.

In regards to Andrew and others like him:

Guys. First of all, You are not adding anything to this forum by using bumpersticker philosophies and capricious beliefs to berate people who are trying to change their lives. I understand that you disagree, and I did myself for some time. The main point here is that you are hindering other people in an effort that is totally theirs. This website was made as an effort to help people who are fighting something they believe to be an addiction.

Do you really think your negative comments are going to help them? If they don't want to look at pornography or masturbate, why should you stop them?

I appreciate all of your input, but honestly, I don't think this is the place for those comments. If you guys want, I can start up and similar site that is purely for Socratic discussion and debate on important issues like this.

We all want to hear your ideas, but lots of men who come to this site are in an extremely vulnerable emotional state. Please spare them the negativity.

Thank you.

@ Conner,

Thank you for your thoughtful comments, but more importantly, your gracious tone.

I'm sorry that you grew up in such a negative environment where the most benign things could be categorized as bad, or "sinful". However, could it possibly be that while you are presently trying to work out what is bad or sinful for you, by jumping onto this site, you have accidently "collided" with a people who legitmately see masturbation as something out of control in there lives? That Brandon's article reminds you of all those people who never allowed you to work out what you believe and why you believe it? In short, you're trying to work out your experiences out in a context that really isn't meant for that.

Even as a believer, I have had a lot of authority figures try to tell me what I believe and why, and it is pretty destructive. So I sympathize. But I'm pretty sure Brandon nor anyone at X3 is out to "tell someone what to do", or make people feel unnessarily guilty. Jesus came for freedom, and he died to set us free, also from false guilt. I personally took it as a nice reminder of where I've been and where I want to head.

Please remember you're on a site that deals with destructive expressions of sexuality through the use of pornography. Like I iterated before, I have known lots of non-religious people who a) can't stop looking at porn and b) can't stop masturbating in a selfish manner.

Thank you Jonathan!

Reading this thread, it's clear to me there are two (or five) different languages being spoken, only one of which will benefit those Christians who are grappling with masturbation as a sin (regardless of any other reason to or not to do it.)

First, I really don't think it is as necessary as most believe it to be. You are no more or less a man if you choose to or not to masturbate. They have no correspondence. The same goes for pre-marital sexual activity of any kind, or pornography.

Second, For some, it may really be an issue of whether or not they can win the battle against desiring sex from someone else when they aren't married. Lust really is a sin, Biblically, and should not be shrugged off so fast.

Third, I don't believe that masturbation is quite so important an issue as most in the church have made it to be. Is eating too much fatty foods, drinking too much alcohol or cursing inappropriately considered immoral? I think that masturbation falls closer to that level of severity in the kingdom. It certainly doesn't belong to the level of severity that virginity, abortion, and murder do (as some, who write in ALL CAPS! would emphasize.) Clearly addiction to sexual activity is a problem, in any form (even between married people). Clearly if I'm asking whether or not I'm sinning if I masturbate, I'm not going to need anyone to read me yet more studies about my sexual health and it's relation to my addiction to masturbation and pornography (if that is the case).

If after examining your relationship with God, as a Christian first, you feel that masturbation has led you away from where you want to be, why not eliminate it? Sure it may be hard, but seriously, grow a pair! (sorry to be crass)

I pray all the time that the most difficult thing I ever do in my life amounts to more than me not eating that seventh cookie or staying up a little later to read my Bible and pray.

OK. I am assuming that people who read this will read it from a Christian or at least seeker angle. If you are going to rip it apart and blast it, don't do it here. But here are two very good and very pertinent articles on the subject of masturbation and sexual sin from Dr. John Piper. Check em out for some further study if you are interested. If not, that is fine, but we don't all need to hear about it.

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/1984/1941_Missions_and_Masturbation/

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByConference/35/1927_How_to_Deal_with_the_Guilt_of_Sexual_Failure_for_the_Glory_of_Christ_and_His_Global_Cause/

Thanks for being a man keeping the faith Brandon. Guys like me really appreciate the support and identity we can find in men like you.

I know this sounds strange coming from a girl who has had this problem...but those reasons are the same reasons that I have told myself and debated with myself about. It is very empowering to hear it come from someone else.

Rebecca,

I am so happy that you have decided to share in the discussion. I think it's good for people to see that this is not a purely male problem. Bravo, and I hope you continue to put in your thoughts, as we need as much positive care and thought as possible.

In regards directly to the first post by Brandon,

I have witnessed all of these circumstances in my own life and the lives of those close to me. One friend in particular confided in me that he felt that his relationships with women and people in general had been suffering at the hands of his addiction to pornography. I found this strange, because he is not a Christian, nor rather is he religious at all. However, he was able to see that, though in our Postmodern World Porn and objectification of women is considered to be a virtue rather than a sin, it still has terrible effects on a young mind.

I think Point 6 in particular has a lot of significance for young men and women today. The psychological implications of any addictive behavior have been well documented, and when thought of in conjunction with an addiction to pornography, the conclusion is hard to ignore, though I'm sure plenty of people will.

Here is a link to some interesting lectures on pornography and its effects in modern culture, given by leading academics in the field.

http://veritas.org/media/topics/36

I have used masturbation for probably 12 years or so. I am now married and have sex with my wife, but I still masturbate. I want to stop. I'm gonna try to stop today. I don't want to be mastered by anything - like that scripture in Corinthians says. I feel that masturbation has had a negative affect on my relationship with my wife - and when I do it I feel isolated, and I do not want to feel this way. I'm gonna try to stop today and maybe by making this post it will help in some way.

If you disagree with Brandon this strongly, why are you still here? If you don't like what he says, go find someone your itching ears will be satisfied by. I'd recommend any prosperity preacher.

Thanks Brandon. I agree 100% with what you said because it is what I see in my own life. This is challenging.

Wow.......That article really hit me. And also the comment made by Isaac. I've been reading these comments over the past couple days and haven't stopped thinking about Brandon's article. I've been struggling for YEARS with this and have tried to stop COUNTLESS times. Still I'm not going to give up and I truly believe Brandon's words will be pointing me in the right direction.
I identified with everything he said and feel pretty shaken by it. I've heard of this debate before from different people and I'm not here to point out which side is right or wrong. All I know is that for me masterbating hasn't been a good thing at all. It's not good but at the same time I'm so stuck with it. Reading some of these comments has given me an incredible perspective on it. It's a big taboo to talk about sexual stuff in christian circles(at least I find it to be). So I thank all of you for your opinions and XXX church for having the courage and boldness to discuss such topics.
I know I will have victory in this area and in pornography with the Lord's help. In fact I have just cancelled my internet and will now have to use public places to use wireless. I just want to encourage any men or woman reading that want to also gain ground. DON'T GIVE UP. God is so loving and knows what we are going through. Take a step into doing what ever you have to do to distance yourself from porn and he will honor that.
Take care my brothers and sisters!

BC - I totally understand where you are. Posting it on this forum is a great step. I would encourage you to also find at least one other man - and preferably 3 or 4 - to share in your struggle (sin). I was amazed to find how prevalent a problem this is for Christians - men especially.

But find some men to whom you can be accountable - men who will challenge you regularly on your purity. As men we tend to isolate, which leaves us feeling shamed, and hopeless. But (I can't say it enough), find some men that will encourage, exhort you and pray for you.

You might in this fellowship of men find it useful to utilize an accountability tool like the Covenant Eyes software - to help keep you on track.

Again, pursue God with all your strength. Make him your ultimate pleasure. Grace to you!

man, ya'll need to rub one out.
ahahaa

but seriously. i am a healthy, independant, successful WOMAN in the best relationship i've ever had before and i can happily say that i masturbate at least once a week.

the physiological aspects of masturbation seem to far outweigh any sort of clouded thoughts of self-centeredness and doubt. i have good friends, i am charitable, i am kind and do my best in everything i do and i can still enjoy my life and those around me.

i guess i'll just never see eye to eye on this kind of thing. masturbation is healthy and ultimately, in my opinion, is a primary hindrance to rape. men and women who relieve themselves instead of acting on impulse...generally speaking don't rape people. and...man, uh, i might be wrong, but out of those two "evils", i'd say rape is a bit "eviler."

maybe posting on a christian website might be my downfall...but i guess, i'm not outraged or even really give a shit, but really, i feel bad for all those christians out there that don't know when to wank it. i mean...do your d!cks even work anymore?

-meg

@ Meg,

I think it would be polite to read the entire forum before posting comments on it. To the keen observer, most of these men and women who are posting definitely have full us of their nads, junk, members, shlongs, or whatever you wish to call it. They are all here to actively try to circumvent a problem. With the exception of a few people who only post to ridicule or belittle the men and women seeking help, everyone here has used their stuff so to speak.

I honestly don't know why you need to post on here. Normally, I would be fully in support of it, but this IS NOT AN OPINION BLOG. This site is a system designed to help people overcome something that is a stumbling block for them. You are doing them no good by saying they'll become rapists if they stop masturbating. This misconception is completely unfounded. Rape is a psychological crime incited by trauma not the need to get off. I would urge that we keep simple-minded banter off of this site. It is opposite its purpose.

I would be happy to discuss these issues outside of the forum with anyone who disagrees with these ideas, even in person if time permits. Although, I guess I should warn the ladies, I haven't masturbated in a while, so I might be a threat.

Seriously. Anyone who comes to this site simply to hinder men and women seeking purity and the life that God has shown to be more beneficial than constant self-absorbtion should please at least watch their language.

i have been struggling with masturbation for a little over a year now and porn for about 7 months. I have tried to quit at least 20 times but i've never been "clean" for more than 10 days i always seem to fall right back in. I first started when i hit puberty and my reason was i hated cleaning up wet dreams so i figured if i wacked off once or twice a week i wouldnt have to deal with that anymore. God has forgiven me constantly but i still feel that porn/masturbation is driving a wedge between me and God.
As for the argument that seems to be going on here, this is my opinion on it: Im not a post modernist but i think i am going to take that kind of view on this subject. If you sense that masturbation is harming u in any way, physically or mentally, then u gotta find a way to stop. If u take a good long look at yourself and are being completly honest with yourself and you really do not think you have a problem then whatever...
For me it is definantly the first option and i hope in a week i will be able to say i have not masturbrated in a week. your prayers will be appreciated

@ Johnathon

Dude thanks so much for that amazing post! I have to totally agree that this is not a "opinion" site, it's a place where people can come to get help and refresh their purity in Christ. I know it's helped me out more than I would have ever imagined and countless others.

@ Brandon

I just wanted to thank you personally for posting what you felt was necessary for people to hear. It has obviously had some interesting comments but I know many people have gained from it, including me.

you know, i wasnt going to post here because my views are irrelevant to this website BUT, i read half way through and there were people talking about being defensive and how they defensive because they feel scorned. I from personal experience have found that anything a man of faith says is wrong, is usually dealt with in a demeaning manor. Now this is personal experience mind you. So i can see where people would come off as defensive because i can see how they will feel attacked for something that maybe to them isnt wrong. Thats there personal opinion. Which is also another problem ive had with men of faith. Your personal opinion is garbage to them....i wont be returning to this article just so you know. any rebuttal will not be read by me.

I'm going to half to agree with pretty much everything Brandon said because I'm a guy, I've experienced at least 5 or 6 of those things and know them to be true for myself. Any man should already know most of these points are true anyway simply because he is a man. Anyone who doesn't agree with or at least recognize any of these points is just in denial. That would be like saying it feels good to get hit in the groin.

@ Zippo,

Hey man. We will definitely keep you in our prayers, and thank you for sharing with us all. We all know how difficult it is to admit something like that.

Yes you most certainly aren't a postmodernist, because that's not quite the view you described!! Bravo. I think a Postmodernist would say that his problem with masturbating was based on a psychological condition he got from being raised with pseudo-christian morals, and that was the problem to be dealt with. Luckily, you have not been looking at things this way.

It's true, if you find that something is harming you mentally or physically, you should certainly do something about it; however, I feel it is important to note that this should not be the main reason and certainly not the only reason to stop such an action. In this case, to put it simply, it's because it is an action that God has shown us is not beneficial for a life of virtue. What will really help you is to understand why it is bad for you. As at hint: it's not because your Sunday school teacher told you. That is not what makes something right or wrong. I would say that it is wrong simply because it is not the natural way that God has intended humans to feel sexual pleasure. Thinking about it in these terms helps me put everything in perspective. God has DESIGNED us and our universe to act a certain way, and when we go against that it creates dissonance and sin.

You will be in my prayers.

J

P.S. cool handle.

To every1,

It wouldn't matter if u lusted after girls or guys. It wouldn't matter if u lied or murdered. Stole or took God's name in vain. We all have sin and that is what keeps us from God. Jesus Christ paid that price b/c he knew we could not. sin is sin which means there r no degrees of sin. Like committing adultery is not worse or better than lying. We all have sin and the sooner we accept that we can move forward to a better lifestyle. God loves u no matter what. No matter what u have done it is forgiven when u accept Jesus Christ as ur savior and start living 4 Him. That doesn't mean u can do what ever u want and just say i am sorry and it is ok. Yes u will mess up sometimes just don't make a habit of it. When u do mess up u will feel guilt( The Holy Spirit) if u truly have a relationship w/ God through Jesus Christ. When u mess up tell God ur sorry and it will b forgiven. God loves u so start living 2 please Him. I will pray for all the non-believers and 4 the believers. God will guide u if u let Him. God will give u what u need 2 get over ur addiction/s.

" I can do all thing through God who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

I was told about this site a while ago by a fellow Christian, but tonight was the first time I've looked it up. I'm in college, and it was very easy for me to not masturbate or be tempted to have sex, which seems odd considering what typically goes down at big, public universities. I guess I had a roommate (and I wasn't about to play pocket pool with an audience), but more importantly, I had a close knit group of guys who were all living within a few rooms of each other. We all are a part of the same ministry, and even if the topic wasn't directly on masturbating, the community you get from talking with other Christians really blows away any temptation to 'rub one out'. Now that I'm living alone over the summer, though, I've been struggling more and more. I try to justify it with "I need to learn my body for my future wife" or "It's nothing God won't forgive me for" arguments, but I know that I don't want to be ruled by masturbation. I fell tonight, and my body has wanted it so badly that I've even hardened my heart to try and block out the remorse that I know I should feel. I went all of this past school year without doing it, and I saw the benefits - I was less confined by guilt, I was more outgoing, I wasn't afraid for people to use my computer (no more internet history to be ashamed of), and most of all I was more likely to go to God when I was feeling tempted, as opposed to now when I feel like I should go to God after the fact. I want this site to help me, and I thank all of the positive comments on this blog. The Scriptures have helped me to take an honest look at where my heart is right now.

And as a side note, most rapes have nothing to do with the sex itself, it's more of an act of aggression/control.

i will pray 4 u Chris and the rest of us.

Contrary to common belief, I have, in fact, masturbated without the use of images, whether mental or physical. These occasions have been rare (more often than not, lustful thoughts do come to mind). But even after these seldom experiences, I've felt convicted of sin. That may only be a personal conviction... but I would venture to say that if no feelings of guilt result from masturbation, your heart has been hardened - which has been the case for me, at times.

I've seen a common argument for masturbation: that it's healthy. This is, I assume, referring to physical, mental, and/or emotional health. I know my emotional health is wrecked after masturbating, but maybe that's not the case for everyone.

But ultimately, my primary concern is for my spiritual health (my relationship with The Lord) - all others are secondary. At times, this leads me to fast, which is most likely damaging to my physical health. At other times, it leads to a sacrifice of earthly comfort or pleasure, which can hurt my mental health.

But I would be extremely surprised if anyone claimed that masturbation improved their spiritual health.

I myself have been struggling for two-three years with this problem. I look around and in today's modern society I can't help but feel I'm being over exposed to pornography. The most I've gone without masturbation was 21 days and those were agonizingly tough. I give up every second day but I keep going back. Is there a more helpful blog which says effective ways to STOP masturbating? This one just says its bad and I already know that in my conscience but I'm addicted.

When It comes to Masturbation here's just a couple of thoughts:

1. If you're a follower of Christ a good question to always ask yourself is "Would Jesus do this?"
When it comes to Masturbation you need to answer that question.

2. Jesus came to set us free. For a lot of guys masturbation is an addiction. It's taken control and they've become a slave to it.

3. When you have sex with your wife, you're giving. When you masturbate (and lust) you're taking.

4. For the guys who say it's no big deal to fantasize. Do you want other men to masturbate and fantasize about your sister? your girlfriend? your mother? Do you think it's okay to objectify someone else's wife?

5. Final Thought. I know that for many guys they want to stop masturbating and it's a real battle. Let me encourage you that it's totally possible. You can walk free.

Just my thoughts guys...
Have a great day
Steve

A few things I have seen while reading this that I would like to comment on.

The first is about the linked article at the top. "Masturbation can become a gateway for demonic strongholds to develop" was one line in it, does this scream QUACK!! at no one else? While I do take some anti-M arguments seriously, thisis not one of them.

"you know its not good for you" -Actually unless the person 'feels' its not good for them personally, it is. LOTS of medical evidence against that one.

"With the exception of a few people who only post to ridicule or belittle the men and women seeking help" While I am in the 'Pro" crowd, Im not here to ridicule. I think that if people feel they have a problem with this then they SHOULD get help. What I am against is the propogation of the message that 'it is bad and you should stop/be ashamed'

"and i dare you to give it up for 20 days" I have, and for longer. Probably around 50 days since it wasnt a full 2 months. I actually did it because a site like this had a challenge for the 'pro' people. I felt no better or worse over the period, so I just continued on as normal.

I am Christian and believe in Jesus. However I dont believe that masturbation is sinful, harmful, or bad for you. As for biblical references about this subject, the bible as it exists is ultimately a work of man and the church, with material omitted and changed to support the views of those who took all the writings together and assembled it. I follow the teachings and philosophy as a general whole and follow my heart as to what I think is right, not what some clergy thought would be a good change at one time or another.

I don't get this bullsh*t about how masturbation makes you a self-centered selfish a-hole. When I masturbate I think about (well, not just thinking. we do this too) things that pleasure her and make her feel good. Does this make me a bad person because I want my girlfriend to feel good, which in turn makes me feel good?

Btw. Leviticus 20:13 calls for the killing of innocent homosexuals. The bible says a LOT of crazy sh*t, that does NOT mean that christians should go around taking the bible literally. Believe in the golden rule (do onto others as you want done onto yourself) and ONLY the golden rule because the rest of the bible is completely useless and some parts are extremely harmful.

Thank you for these postings.

I struggle with masterbation frequently. I know that it is wrong, but I can't stop. I've realized if I'm busy all day, I don't have time, and I can convince myself to just sleep at night. But if I have time on my hands, then it happens. I want to be done. My plan is to stop in August - kind of psych myself up for it.

Please pray for me, as I pray for you.

Brandon, I could completely agree. I've been struggling now for quite sometime, trying to stop. I know that every time I do it, I get sexual immoral thoughts. Which is of course a given.

But just as you said yourself. If you simply look at a woman with lust, you have already commited adultry in your heart.

Good luck with the tough crowd brother. ;D

God bless

From what I see, no females have written anything. I would like to state as a teenage female who is now struggling with masturbation, I can tell you that it is not easy to stop. Someone said just get rid of the pornographic images you see in your head? Sorry to tell you this but you just can't do that. When a picture or video excites you, the adrenal gland releases a chemical called epinephrine into the bloodstream. It travels to the brain and locks in the picture. You can bring the image to your mind later and feel a sense of arousal. Other chemicals give you a sense of euphoria. After experiencing the thrill,you'll want to feel it again which is why you're led back to porn sites even when you vow you won't look at them again. Masturbation may not be bad for your health but it denies the purpose that God created sexual pleasantries for, and that is to bring new life into the world.

I apologize. I have gone back and read through all the comments and I now see that I am not the only girl who has posted. My mistake.

I am going to make a confession that I am not ashamed to make. Every time I have had sex in my entire life has been out of marriage. Protection was always used in some form or another and I have no children currently. Eventually when you are with a partner for long enough in an honest and open relationship you discuss things like masturbation. At some point in most of my relationships I've discovered, directly or indirectly, whether or not my girlfriends at the time I was dating them regularly masturbated. Most claimed at some point that they didn't (some had no problem admitting that they'd done for as long as they can remember), and most admitted to doing it at some point.

Something interesting I've noticed is that the women I've dated who were the most free about admitting their enjoyment of and frequent participant in self pleasure are also the ones with whom I enjoyed sex the most. My current girlfriend masturbates a lot, even sometimes when we make love. She is the best lover I've ever been with, mostly, I believe, because she knows exactly how her body reacts, and is comfortable to allow it to perform the way it was designed.

Now, I understand that many of you believe masturbation (and sex as it is practiced in the 21st century by most americans) is a sin, and that god will punish you for that. To this point I can not give you any argument (though I strongly disagree). I will say this though:

If you believe the bible, especially in Jesus as a person, you should notice when he himself appears to break his own rules and those of his father. Examine the prostitute that jesus spared from stoning, or the work jesus himself did on the Sabbath (clearly a violation of the 10 commandmens), for example. Jesus here appeared to evaluate the act itself in its own merits. Was this prostitute hurting anyone else? Had the good works performed by Jesus on the Sabbath outweighed the evil of working on the Sabbath?

I propose to you this: If worrying about and constantly struggling to quit masturbation because you think it is wrong (you are not hurting anyone else, remember), simply because you think it is wrong, than perhaps the evil of quitting (I do not think it is evil at all, just to be clear) is a greater evil?

I think we should be proud of our bodies and take advantage of the beautiful pleasures god has given us. He loves us, after all, and designed us to feel that way! Enjoy yourselves folks!

@ Brad

The point isn't that Christians see sex outside of marriage - or even masturbation as "evil". You are correct in saying that masturbation doesn't hurt anyone else - the Bible agrees with you. But the bible clarifies by stating that "...but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." 1Cor 6:18 So you ask - OK - so what if I sin against my own body - what's the big deal?

I would challenge you to consider - what is ultimate evil? Is it murder, rape, genocide? Take a look at Jeremiah 2:12-13: "Be astonished and appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked and shrivel up with horror, says the Lord [at the behavior of the people]. For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the Fountain of living waters, and they have hewn for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns which cannot hold water.

The Real question is not whether masturbation is a sin, the question is why do we exist on this planet? The answer is to enjoy God and glorify him forever. Yes, sex is a wonderful gift. But God has declared that it is solely to be an activity that consummates the covenant of marriage. Outside of that covenant, we sin; we sacrifice the joy of communion with God (the LIVING water), and instead we go after the paltry pleasure of sex for the sake of itself.

Why scratch in the dry dirt (of masturbation) for satisfaction when you can go to the fountain and drink and drink until your soul is satisfied?

God isn't interested in us denying ourselves pleasure - just the opposite - he is for our ultimate pleasure (don't forget who invented sex!) - which is achieved through a restored relationship with Jesus Christ.

God Bless

Well, I really think that masturbation is simple, you do it to fantasize or to have other pleasure.

I found it interesting that people can't even give it up for a couple of weeks; Giving excuses like it is healthy to do it, I don't imagine stuff But.

as some guy was saying, Would Jesus Do it?

and if Im the only guy that suffers from this, when you don't masturbate for some time you get discharges(@ night), so I pretty much think and deeply believe that God created a perfect working Body, and when you Don't masturbate you are still going feel great.

(Personal Believes) When you don't masturbate or waste time in other stuff, and give that time away for like talking to god, and trying to experience him, you can really feel God around you.

When you experience a REAL GOD (and I;m not talking about religion, or churches or any other thing rather than a personal relationship) you don't want to do any other thing that staying in his presence. (When You Really have a personal relationship)

@ Jon V, at the time I posted I hadn't finish reading everything,

And I strongly belive is what you said:
Why scratch in the dry dirt (of masturbation) for satisfaction when you can go to the fountain and drink and drink until your soul is satisfied?

Really try to experience God, and fight for a real experience, just you and him, all alone in your bed.
I can really tell you, when you have a REAL EXPERIENCE with him, you never want to go back even to your normal state.
And Believe me I used to be an atheist, and God like proved me wrong One night.
Fight for the REAL SPIRITUALITY.

@ SkepticNut and SkepticNut I wouldn't touch the spiritual world if I was you, it is pretty real and it isn't pretty as most people think it is.
( PS: Except when You are being used by God, you fell awesome.)

this is a very touchy subject and up for alot of debate as we can see but do you know that throughout the whole bible mastrbation is not mentioned once not once why do you think that is ? because like so many other gifts God has given us eg sex,prophesy,being led away in the spirit and on and on and on its been turned against us and used as a weapon to try and separate us from God but as we all know nothing can separate us from God so if you are struggling with masterbation its ok i struggle too and people are on this site saying God is this and God is that at you . well let me tell you are God is a God of love and regardless what you do he loves you so if you masterbate as long as its not constantly and is effecting you mentally,physically and most importantly spiritually then its ok . yes we are meant to be like Jesus but WE ARENT JESUS so guys stop with the guilt trips please. all my love and blessings in our saviour Jesus . craig

Ok, I'm a devout Christian, but yea I've struggled with masturbation, I love the lord my God with all my heart, its just hard to stop, I've been making a good effort lately, but I have a question, is masturbation with out lust still a sin, and I've read some of the posts that say that doing that is impossible, but thats how I've always done it, just for the feel, but I'm confused, is it bad just to do it like once or twice a month to relive tension that has built up, me and my girl friend are in a Christian relationship, so yea we just leave it to kissing, nothing more, so is would it be bad just to do the "M" word like once a month (with out lusting, not thinking about women or my gf in the nude or any lustful things like that) just to realive some tension that has built up so me and my gf don't end up doing anything that we might regret, if some one could please help me with my situation and pray for me that would be great! thanks...God Bless

Hey folks,

I just wanted to drop in and make sure we are all on the same page. That we all understand that the topic! For me this is not a topic about Masturbation, but Selfishness. Some of you are saying the big M is not a selfish act, and that it’s ok to do so as long as you keep it Healthy. So I ask you what is Healthy, and who determines Healthy? And what does the Big M have to do with Health? So far the only argument I have read about is Colon Cancer....There are many other ways to rid you body of Colon Cancer and those ones have an over all good effect on your whole Health....Read a Holistic book to find out more info on that topic. So what about the Big M? How does it serve as a Healthy life style? You get to know yourself, Sexually and become a better partner? That’s the only other argument (other then Colon Cancer) I have heard?...Man I am not sure that’s a cool thing to do on your own?? To find yourself in some stall, or some Bedroom thinking about crazy stuff!!! I think we would all agree that you would rather have someone else taking part in the Physical action. For me personally I would love to be able to be with someone I am Emotionally, Mentally, and Spiritually (for lack of a better word) connected with before I find out who I am in the Physical... and for me that means Marriage. A total connection of a man and woman coming together to Truly love each other with respect and Sacrifice on each persons part. A healthy relationship that includes all parts of who we are; Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, and Physical (in that order). Where it’s not about what I can get out of this but what I can give in order to fill those needs in someone else. But in order to do that I would need to sacrifice my time to get to know that person on the non physical before the physical. To rob them of just the physical would mean I don’t respect them or myself...and I might as well be a thief who takes what he wants and leaves the damage behind.

The thing that sucks about my life is that I have already played that game. I have already crossed that line. I have already put my body, mind, and Spirit on the line. Now I am trying to figure out how I can get back to that place where it’s all new again. Where seeing a girl not for her body but for who she is....as a person...a human being with feelings and emotions just like me. Its hard to get back to that place....It’s hard to be in a constant battle of Morals and Ethics when you have already opened the box on SEX. You see the world differently....you see it in a single flesh tone rather then the Multi-colored tones of a relationship. When you look around you see objects, or bodies, not the inside parts of who a person really is....So I ask you....Do I have the right to get with that person? To think of them naked? Is it right for me to go home and think about them and Masturbate to their image in my head? Do I have the right to think that this could happen, that they might want me? Or Is masturbation like a Video game where you are the controller of what happens without any ones interference? Where they don’t have the choice to reject you? To tell you that you’re not attractive? To tell you that they don’t want to be with you? Is Masturbation a safe house for our pleasure? Again I look at it from all sides...Why do I masturbate? What does it do for me on an Emotional, Mental, Spiritual plain???.....It gives me Physical pleasure...and that’s it!!!!! it does nothing but damage the other aspects...I can not give myself what I want from someone else, when its only me in the room...If that was the case then I would not need you....But that would be a Fantasy as we all need each other. We need people in our lives and we need to respect them for who they are not for what they are. Open you Eyes to the fact that Masturbation is not about someone else, but about you!!! It is you gratifying yourself, and your needs...in a safe zone of your control. It has nothing to do with any one else.

I present this scenario to you not as a gag, or a joke but more of theoretical way of looking at what would you do, and how far would you go? Lets say you were involved in an accident that caused you to lose, either both of your arms, or your genitals. If it was just your arms how far would you go to Masturbate (self gratification)? How far would you go to sexually gratify yourself? Sure you could always find another way....But how far would you go? Sex Shops, prostitution (you would not be able to gratify yourself with out some sort of a contraption, or someone else’s help). Or what if you lost your Penis, or Vagina, how then would you gratify yourself? Just take sometime to think about it? How far would you go to get what you think you need, or want in order to feel satisfied? Is there more to life then your needs and wants....and what are you doing with your life....and where is it focused???

For me I believe that there is a Higher standard of Living. That it is not about Gratifying Myself ...but that its about Reaching out to others. Its about Living a life of Sacrifice...and not selfishness. Its about getting a bigger Vision as to the real injustices in this world. If you are Masturbating try to figure out why, and for who? If you want to stop...think about a staving Kid in a third world country with nothing to eat or drink, while you sit in your nice chair watching Porn. This world is not here just or you...Get off your butt and do something about it. Respect the ones around you. Don’t cast stones if you ain’t prepared to get hit by one.