THE BIG M WORD

It is awkward to talk about, some think it is gross, some think it is weird. Yes it is the big M word. Let's be honest masturbation and porn go hand in hand.

Jesus says do not look at a women lustfully or you basically have sex (adultery) with her in your heart (Mat. 5:27). I think Jesus tells us this because he knows how challenging this is and wants us to take his words dead seriously.

The above verse does not directly address the big M. However, there is some definite stuff Jesus is calling us to. Basically Jesus is saying do not lust. Lust is thinking about a person sexually you are not married to. Masturbation is 99.9% coupled with lust. Therefore the big M, is a big no in Jesus' words.

Often when Jesus says something that is really challenging, like do not lust. We try to bend the rules. Well what if I am thinking about the person I am going to marry. Or what if I am thinking about soccer or checkers. That is not the point. The point is Jesus is saying the best possible way to live on this planet, right here, right now, is lust free. The best possible way to live is masturbation free.

Though this subject is one that is dead serious, I have found that one of the best way to talk about it, is with a bit of humor. When I was in high school, me and couple buddies decided to take the these words of Jesus seriously. We saw the below video. We found it hilarious. And simply every time we saw each other we would ask if we had killed any kittens lately. It is a simple and funny way to keep each other accountable. And our girlfriends never knew what we were talking about.

If you feel like you can't stop. Do not set big goals of two months or a year. Take it one day at a time. Quit cold turkey and find some people to hold you to it. Stop killing the kittens, it is the best way to live, right here, right now.

JOEY wrote on June 12th 08 at 11:43AM

Masturbation...great fun but an addictive distraction . The point is it objectifies the person you are using to sexually stimulate yourself. Much better to enjoy a relationship with that person and totally enjoy that persons company, wit, all that they have to offer. Sharing is a great gift from others, sexually and non-sexually. If you ask them they may just be lusting after you also! Then you can get past the lust and into sharing. I'm not advocating sexual relations , but humans will be humans and they are champion sexual animals. best to do it SAFE and with RESPECT. just an opinion. JOEY P.S. Oh ya, I'm a recovering SEXADDICT! I know what I speak of!

Jordan wrote on June 12th 08 at 01:51PM

Brandon you continue to amaze me. I just read your "THOSE MOMENTS" blog yesterday and subscribed to the rss feed. I read through all your previous blogs and was challenged.
I haven't been witnessing like I should since the school year got over. It's so easy to get out of the habit of focusing on Jesus and just working my butt off... Well your blogs, as well as one other blog I subscribed to yesterday, have brought me back.
They smacked me in the face and showed me what I've become.
Masturbation is something I have struggled with since I was 12. I can do it without porn and have been porn-free for several months now. I just can't seem to get rid of this sin. But your [brilliant] idea of taking it one day at a time just may work. I've always told myself I could do it for a month. And it never happens. I just fall back into the habit after a couple of days and then become discouraged.
Thanks again Brandon!

korey wrote on June 12th 08 at 05:14PM

I'm not posting to hate on any one. I'm just sayin if you test God he'll show that he's there and he loves you. I'm not tring to sound like i'm angry at someone and have chip on my sholder,but test him and you will see. Also i agree with the praying plan. No one here can change their lives for God but God. So lets keep them and each other in our prayers.(We need Christ in or lives just as much.) I'll also try to sound less mean too. (Sorry about that lol.) Peace and Love

schmidtty wrote on June 13th 08 at 11:29AM

sorry korey, but i disagree with you: you should never test God. Faith should be enough to get you through something difficult like this. I have been struggling with masturbation since 6th or 7th grade, (i am now a freshman in college) and it has been one thing that has really separated me from God. I have always been really embarrassed to admit to what i do, its perverted and wrong, in God's eyes and in society's, but the Lord can do anything, and if you just keep your eyes on him and your hands doing his work, there is little that can stop you. it just takes focus, discipline, and lots of faith.

Jordan wrote on June 13th 08 at 10:49PM

I agree with you schmidtty. I have exactly the same situation as you. I started in around 7th grade and still struggle with it. I'm 19 now and I still have the same problem. I've taken Brandon's advice though...: I'm keeping faith in God and taking it one day at a time.

korey wrote on June 14th 08 at 01:44AM

No, your getting me completly wronge i agree with you totaly and faith should be enough 4 me, you and, all who follow Christ. What i'm sayin is if your a person hell bent on sayin that God is not real and he doesn't know ,than test God. But i'm thinkin of the story in the bible where a scarred mans cuntry is getting attacked by an army and is hiding away.God says to go make an army and he is not sure if it hGod or not. So he tests God With a cloth.God show him hes there and the man does what hes told. But know that i'm thinkin about it agin i'm not sure that I have all my facts strait. (Let check my facts and i'll get back to you. )

wesley wrote on June 14th 08 at 10:40PM

could it not be argued that, albeit, to lust after one in such a way is simply saiting ones immense for such a connection until one may share it with the one he loves?

could it not be argued that perhaps, yes masturbation is the inferior of the two, it is still one avenue for one to aid in controlling ones lust? to eradicate lust in one self is simply an impossibilty. but if keeping it at a minimum is your goal (which you haven't explained the reasoning to except by quoting some excerpts of the bible) that prohibiting masturbation is not the way to do so as it will only created a dam of repressed feelings to cause unwellness in ones being until it spills over in a negative way.

just my thoughts.

Marcus wrote on June 15th 08 at 05:47PM

I to have gotten hooked on porn and masturbating. it is a hard addiction to come over. But it is not impossible. I reacently went to a youth camp and found out that four of the freinds i made while i was their were also hooked. so then we began to pray on it,(God how can we over come this we have tried before and have failed how may we overcome this.) He spoke to us that night sayin that we are to hold each other accountable to the word of god. So every night we call each other and ask have you been talking to god lateley, or did you read your bible today. And we'll get to talking about what god has done in are live's or the challenges we come against. And any time we feel the erge to look at porn or masturbate we will call each other to talk us out of it and to be the reasoning voice of god for us. GOD works through us and he is our rock. So to my freinds from ONE WEEK COLLIDE™ 2008... Thank You for being there for me. and ultimately thank you god for giving freinds and being my ROCK.

Ethan wrote on June 15th 08 at 06:29PM

Masturbation has been the hardest thing for me to get over. One way i got over it was saying my favourtie bible verse. Prayer was another big one. BUt the person who helped me the most was actually my girlfriend. I knew that if i countinued my actions I was being unfaithful and ever since we've been dating i haven't since she was my cure and i hope you all find yours someday

brandon wrote on June 15th 08 at 06:37PM

@ Marcus - that is awesome. it is so possible but you can't do it alone like you say...keep it going with your friends. Do you guys call it "killing kittens" ? Just wondered...seriously a lot easier to say in the hall at school than, masturbate...

@ wesley - the bottom line for me is what jesus says...i understand if you have another perspective. other reasons: well, who wants to have 2 minute sex when you get married? masturbation will condition you to have short sex, i have have a friend, who recently got married... who have had to work through how he conditioned himself by masturbating while looking at porn.

your body adapts to what you do, just like you when you get in shape for sports. so training you body for 2 minute sex, i would rather not..

Phil wrote on June 16th 08 at 10:39PM

Thats hilarious!!! Ill think of that whenever Im tempted.

rebecca wrote on June 26th 08 at 01:01AM

Oh, my gosh....the kittens! ahahahaha....that was ridiculous, XD. but very funny, I enjoyed that (I hope you guys aren't serious in that you believe that God kills kittens...). But yes, my pastor recommended this site to our entire church and i must say that it very refreshing to have all of these resources here to help people in need, (i.e. me). but yeah, keep up the great work...and save the kittens! :)

Dave wrote on June 30th 08 at 07:01AM

Hey All,
I just wanted to really encourage everyone out there.... ive been a Christian for 4 years now and pretty much the whole time ive struggled with masturbation. Im now 19 and id been addicted since i was about 12. About 3 or 4 months ago i hooked up with a mate and we became accountability partners and i would seriously reccomend this to any one who is struggling. Having someone who you can pray with and talk to about anything is a real help. Id tried to quit before and failed time and time again. Now everytime i get the urge i pray for a focus on God and that my thoughts will be captive before Him. Anyways ive been clean since i got my accountability partner and its awesome! Keep praying and have faith! God is always there and he will help you get over your struggles!

Jim H wrote on July 12th 08 at 12:12PM

k. so i've heard a very convincing argument from Christian psychologist (sp?), author, speaker, and leading expert in male sexuality Dr. Doug Weiss that masturbation can be done purely (without lusting or committing sin). he said that there are a few men who naturally are just this way and the rest of us men find it hard to believe they exist.

anyway, my point is, he said that there is are ways that ANY man can begin to masturbate purely and says that this is probably still not better than abstinence, but that at least pure masturbation is not sin.

I am interested to read all ya'll thoughts on this. thanks.