YOUR Story: The Next Step.

My path to cleanliness began after I broke up with my first real girlfriend after about 4 months of serious dating. I was feeling absolutely horrible after we broke up but no matter what I did, I couldn't stop missing her. After months of praying and loneliness (and porn) I listened to God and He told me that it wasn't her, it was my lust for her. Seeing this rearranged my priorities and while I have always been in love with God, I have been in love with only Him ever since (I'm satisfied, what more can I want?). The whole experience put me back into His grace like never before, and it taught me true love in relationships. No longer am I tied down and depressed, and no longer do I suffer from the weight of my lust. True love is the answer= unconditional love.

hey when i watch porn and im done i dont feel bad and i go to church what is wrong

quick story: after many months of masturbating, God somehow got that desire out of me and I've been clean for 8 months. it's possible to stop.

This is going well so far; keep it up.

@S.B.G - Thanks so much for sharing your story. Such an encouragement for those that are going through their dark places. In a world that is so based on lust rather than the real deal, truer words can never be spoken about love.

@Sam - Going to church isn't the answer. Being the Church is. The difference is that church is all about people, not buildings, so when one person is up, we are all encouraged. When one is down, we are all down.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. - Romans 12:15

So Sam- my encouragement to you would be to not try to get through this on your own, but rather on the strength of a loving church family who cares desperately for you and wants to see you conquer this and succeed in life.

@Anonymous - Again, how incredible are the stories of this thing being conquered!!!

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Greetings,

I am no longer a teen but my experience with porn began at the age of 6 when I and my friend discovered the 'top shelf' on the way to School. I battled through my teenage years. I got married this year and 'crashed' after two months of marriage at which point I read an article on here which challenged me to come clean.

First, I spoke to my wife, then to my Pastor and his wife, then to two accountability partners and I got involved with a 12 step recovery programme at my church. There is a scripture that encourages us to 'confess our sins, one to another'. I am here to tell you after three months of sobriety (from porn), this stuff really works!

Thank you Jesus and xxxChurch.

I am a youth pastor at a church and I have been addicted to porn for a few years now. It all started when my god sister sexually abused me and I let it happen but I have never been the same ever since. Every time I look at porn I know the Holy Spirit is telling me not to do this. But you know the flesh, it feels satisfying at first. Afterwards I feel guilty. I want to tell my family and church family but I know how some people in the church can look at you and gossip as if you're not human and you don't have weaknesses. Please pray for me that I be delivered from this wicked and evil sin that destroys your relationship with God.
Grace & Peace, Denzel

I struggled with masturbation when I first got married. I talked to my husband a couple of times but after that he didn't want to know about it. It went on for years because I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I felt as a christian I shouldn't be doing it but didn't know how to stop. As Denzel says, it feels satisfying at first, but then you feel guilty and ashamed and that doesn't go away.

Eventually I got so sick of it ruling my life I really earnestly cried out to God to show me what to do and he led me to James 1:13-15. I realised that it all started with the thought, which led to the desire, then the act and death (I was miserable). God was saying if I stopped at the thought then it could be conquered. So I began, with his help, to do that. I wasn't successful every time but I counted the times I was successful as making me stronger the next time. And gradually, very gradually I began to win. And with each win it became easier to say no the next time, to stop that thought in its track, give it to God (2 Cor 10:5) and replace it with another thought, preferrably a bible verse but definitely something in line with Phil 4:8. Trying not to think about it never worked but replacing the ugly thought with a godly one really helped a lot.

And now? It is no temptation at all, it has no hold over me and I am free of its tyranny. I am so grateful to God for that.

So if you are struggling, keep struggling, don't give up. It may take a long time but with God's strength & encouragement from others who have been there you can win over it.

Blessings,
Mary

@Denzel- good point, we all are human and have weaknesses.

And how many guys have experimented with masturbation? Probably the vast majority of Christian men. Yeah it was us that took it to far and have to deal with the consequence of addiction- but when they judge us, it could easily have been them.

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Hey guys, Lets just say these past couple of months have been complete hell. I've been looking at porn and masturbating for almost four months now, and I've tried to get rid of it, I've tried to end the struggle. I've gotten to the point of only once a week, but It just got worse from there. Now its back worse then every with a couple times a day. Like today a typical friday night, hanging with the guys, when the conversation just moves to porn, and with 3 computers in the room, It just sounded like such an easy escape. So everyone just kinda did their own thing and eventually we got talking about names of the porn stars we liked. I always hate looking at the names because it always reminds me that God made that person, and that special name, and now we are lusting over God's own daughter, now how wrong is that? I don't know about you but that in itself just really bugs me. The struggle has been crazy hard and I cant seem to lose it, Its attached to me like a leach you cant burn off, It even follows me wherever I go. I try to lose the feeling by using drugs/other things as a way out, but it never works, It just makes it worse than it already was. I need more than this. I need more than anything on Earth has. Most importantly I need God. It would be great if someone out there would just pray for me, It would be greatly appreciated. My name is Travis and I'm 16 years old. Thanks for listening. I need help, I cant do this anymore.

ok i am a sinner and i dont feel bad about it y is that

Hello Travis,

I'll just give you the short version for now: Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Gal. 5:16).

Jesus can deliver you, as he did me, by filling you with his Spirit (2 Cor. 3:17), but you must first make the sacrifices that he demands of his followers.

The guys you hang with are a bad influence on you and taking drugs for a thrill is not righteous.

Look, I’m not naive to think that all you have to do is to get rid of your carnal friends and all your sexual temptations will go away. Yet, deliverance by God’s power is waiting for you, but you have to be willing to make the hard changes in your life necessary to get God’s grace to overcome the lusts of the flesh, and I have the scriptures to back up this claim if you’re skeptical. Gal. 5:16 is just one of them. Maybe the best of them. It applies only to born-again believers, though.

Peace

Victory in Jesus

that's great to hear anonymous! i've been clean for over 5 months now, and although i have urges from time to time, i don't give in to those urges. i agree; it IS possible to become clean and free from this sin

Hulk, in the new testament, in Romans 7 Paul describes sin as a way of nature, and without the law of the holy spirit in your life, sin does not yet feel like sin. Sin and the Holy spirit truly begin to combat one another as you recognize Jesus as your Saviour and begin to pursue his willl in your life.

I masturbate. I'm 13 years old. Like everyone said it feels good to the flesh but after I just kinda feel something. It's like watered down guilt. In 6th grade (I'm in 8th now) we really the book Preparing For Adolescence by James Dobson (I think thats who it's by) and he wrote in there that it's a natural male instinct and in his view there is nothing particularly wrong with it. I've been kinda using that book as an excuse ever since 6th grade. I've looked in the Bible for scripture about masturbation but I've never found anything. Please. I need help.

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Oliver: I know that if you live in the Light and walk with Jesus the darkness will not effect you, however that doesn't mean you won't be tempted, I've tried so hard to get back in the Light. It's not easy because I've taken such a detour from the narrow path to heaven, to the wide path to hell. It just seems impossible right now. I know it Isn't and God is there to love me no matter what. And honestly thats what gets me through. God still loves us no matter what, but we have to strive for him always, even if it means giving up what seems fulfilling for the flesh. I want to live with the fruits of the spirit, and fulfill my spiritual life. Right now I'm on the road to recovery. Thanks for all your help =] It means a lot.

Hey guys, Im a 17 year old senior that has watch porn since i was 11 and every time i would watch porn i would feel horrible with myself and wanting to change but feel like i am just pathetic and really want to change

Hello Travis,

You say that you took a detour from God. Well, I took a detour from God that lasted over 22 years. Fortunately, you don’t have to go that far. Don’t stop pursuing Jesus until you have the victory, because there is a real victory to be had. I know this because I have it. But I am no one special to God. The promise is to all God’s children.

To partake in the promises of God for deliverance, one must first be born again, and get baptized if you haven’t already. Don't be afraid to declare yourself a believer in Jesus (but don’t be obnoxious in how you do it either). Love the brethren. And try every day to do good to people. That is VERY important. Jesus told a Pharisee how to overcome his ravenous inner life, and that advice applies to you and me and all believers:

But rather give alms of such as you have and, behold, all things are clean to you (Luke 11:41).

And what does victory look like? It’s about having the Holy Spirit fill you and take away the most of your temptations so that you are able to walk away from temptations in victory. I liken it to God turning down the volume on our lusts. Sure, we will always have some lusts so long as we live in this flesh body, but by God’s grace we can overcome them.

Yes, Travis, God loves you, but he also has overcoming power to give you as you obey him in loving others.

Don't give up trying and don't give up hoping. In the New Testament we find a lot of do’s and don’t’s. Just increase the do’s and decrease the don’t’s and you’ll find your victory. One of the do’s is to be generous to others, and one of the don’t’s is to not be greedy.

If you’re interested in more information, you can read my long post under Men Confession/My Struggle. Or just ask me.

Peace

Victory in Jesus

Hi Everyone,
I've been in a constant struggle w/ any kind of sexual videos on youtube to masturbation. I've been having a load of problems in my life and nothing seems to end. A couple years ago I was extremely sick. We dont know what it was, but I was having EXTREME headaches, but I never saw a doctor. I prayed (along w/ Mel, my youth leader) that I would overcome the sickness and I did. It strengthened me and encouraged me and my faith in God grew so so soooo much, because I was almost sure I might die from the sickness. Then after that the sexual problems kicked in around the age of 14. I kept working super hard to keep my thoughts pure. I did a great job also. I never dated any guy or even liked a guy because I made sure my heart was on God. It would go up and down w/ my thoughts. Sometimes I would have a good month or so then others I would crash and burn basically. It gradually got worse. One day I was on youtube and was watching a music video, then on the side i saw another video and got curious...then the curiosity turned to addiction. I just couldn't kick it. After a LONG while it got better. Then I got sick again, this time w seizures. The seizures were only happening a couple months ago. I decided to have the elders in my church pray for me. I was healed a few days later. Then the sexual addictions came back. Only now it's worse. I've been addicted to anonymous chat. It started out innocently, but turned into sexchat which led to masturbation. Now on top of it all I'm dealing w anorexia...please someone talk to me...I need help getting through. I also couldn't find anything in the Bible saying that masturbation is wrong...please help a daughter of the King...

was up everyone my names tyler and i just became a christian about4 months ago i use to sell and do drugs four the past couple of years i before weent to church when i was lil but i strayed from God grew up in a home where i got beat up on only met my real dad once and my step dad left me and my bro when i was 8 had to be the man in the house and stuff. got mixed up with the some lost kids at an early age my house was drug friendly God never really crossed my name then couple years gone by got involved with a gang my friends all ended up in jail some way i was on top rappin had ya fix got into fights with my moms boyfriends moved out left my family found out the guy was a thief got even more serious with the drugs meanwhile entangled with pornagraphy ever since i was little my cousin molested me and i thought that God wouldnt take me, anyways one day someone slip me some bad stuff the ones who i thought was my bros didnt know where i was for a week mentally insane i realized that i was about to die didnt know what to do my whole family saw me in this state thought of suicide to end it but God had a different plan he spoke to my heart i was completely broke down andabout to die but he saved me and showed me mercy and told me that he still loves me. for the next couple weeks i was still mentaly disoriented but knew that God is with me went to a retreat shared my testimoney helped alot of the people but it wasnt me it was God he used me there only at 15 years old he used me for so much and continues but right now God is making the changes in me to bring me closer to him i stumbled into porn a couple weeks later and have been fighting it and prayin i just want to know if yall can help me im poor in money but rich in spirit i cant afford much but if you could help me in anyway pleaze reply Much Love and i want you to know whoever is reading this that God loves you and he wants a relationship with you so if your in what seems like a dead end situation remember nothing is impossible with Christ may God bless all of you

@ Rachael: I would really like to talk to you and try to help in some way. I don't have tons of answers but I want to help.
@ praizdaLord: Your story is awesome, keep going like this, I'm so glad you can experience God's love.

I love seeing the compassion that can only be found in grace, also found on here, in the written pages of our deepest and darkest trials. It's not the fact that we are just seeing and reading the story of other people's lives; but that we are together being written into them. When I think of how Jesus would approach this life, this dark escape, I have to think he would joy in the triumphs we are proclaiming here. It's the little man conquering the big guy. It's as if a family is being shared alive. And for that, I, along with others, are forever grateful.

As I sat in service this past Sunday AM, our pastor spoke the words from 1 Corinthians 10:13 that I often repeat myself: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." It's not that we are just united in our struggle against sin; but that we are more united in the common bond of Jesus, and we are all promised the shared opportunity to defeat whatever comes against us. As one, believers and with our Lord, we triumph. Beautiful.

Peace and Joy When You've Made Mistakes

This is a sermon that my youth pastor gave this past summer about Peace and Joy When You've Made Mistakes, if you need Peace and Joy you should listen to this. Just click on the listen link on the left side. Or download it and listen to it later.

http://www.ncctk.com/about-us/sermon-archive/peace-and-joy-when-youve-made-mistakes-week-5-lynden/

@ xsharky that would be great how can we get into contact?

Hearing all your stories is so inspiring! All the ones who are free Praise God! I am tearing up here! Seeing my fellow brothers & sisters being victorious gives me such hope and encouragement! Praise the name of Jesus! :)

I've struggled with masturbation since the age of 12. I've struggled with reading written pornography online since the age of 17. I struggled with cyber sex online from 13-15 and then over the past couple of months. I am a week and a half free of all these things now! Praise God! I am taking each day in victory! I have more to my story to I've been free of cutting for 3 1/2 years now! I'm working on putting my self esteem back together and finding my identity in Christ! He is doing wonders in my heart right now! I beat a struggle of wanting to try weed, smoke, and drink, but Praise God, I never did!

To all you struggling - there is hope! Our God will provide a way out for you! Don't give up, don't lose hope! My heart breaks for you & our Fathers heart breaks for you! He still loves you! He will never leave you or forsake you! SEEK HIS FACE! Don't turn away! It will be hard, it's hard for me, but He will set you free! Believe! Trust and lean on the Lord for strength! Just tonight, I was IMed twice for cyber sex and the Lord intervened, I blocked the IMs, right when I was feeling weak! My Lord provided! Please know there is hope! Your Father is praying for you. He's there. He's believing in you. And every time you say no, every time you give up things for Him, he is so proud! Some of you - it may mean giving up relationships or friends or telling your parents or even downloading those accountability softwares....DO IT! Don't hesitate.

If you need prayer or would like to talk more, please contact me at brkthesilencexxx@aol.com!

I will give you my facebook, myspace, or twitter...whatever. Because I believe God wants us all to stay strong together! I will be praying for you all! God will help you through, He will lift you above these raging storms!

Kari

My path to sexual sin started when I was 11 and my brother started grooming me for sexual abuse. I was exposed to pornography, written stories of pornography, and sexual acts by the age of 12, and didn't even try to get help until I was 15. Now I'm nearly 17 and I've struggled a lot with pornography and masturbation addictions. Through no fault of my own I was led to the sin, but by all means, it was I who chose to stay there. I finally opened up about 9 months ago to my youth group leader's wife and have been striving for accountability and purity ever since.

I know all too well the feelings of guilt and shame and uncleanliness that come after the physical high. I know all too well the brokenness that comes after you realize what you've done yet again. Likewise, I know all too well the joy in God's unending grace, love, and mercy for me. It's astonishing to me that even when I was still sinning - and by all means, I'm still fighting this fight, so don't perceive that wrongly - God seeked after me. We are that precious to Him. As astonishing as it is to me that God seeks after us, it is heartbreaking that we blind our eyes and deaf our ears and refuse to listen and surrender. We lead ourselves to the slaughter while He's doing everything He can to try to save us.

I've had periods where I've had 4 months of victory, then fallen and had 0 days of victory for months. I have no innocence when it comes to this struggle, but I'm praying and hoping this one is going to last and God has restored my innocence.

I'm so thankful that as a girl, I can come in her and find peace, knowing I'm not the only one that's ever dealt with it. Knowing other people are like me, and I don't have to listen to "yeah but guys have it so much harder, we don't struggle..." when all I want to do is yell YES, WE DO! Thank you for providing a place of shelter and comfort.

Rachel,
My battle with lust began on YouTube too. I was 12 and just curious. Slowly I begin to dabble in more intense stuff. I masturbated first at 15. After I did, the urge was harder to resist, I watched porn whenever I could, and the thought of masturbation was always on my mind. It comsumed me. That is why it is a SIN, It diverts your devotion from God to yourself. Masturbation becomes an idol(Exodus 20: 2-4). Lust is also a sin. I beleive lust and masturbation go hand in hand. James 1:15 says "then when lust hath conceived it bringeth forth sin, and when it is finished death." It is ok to be tempted but when we lust and dwell on temptation it leads us to sin. Masturbation is the result lust. Rachel, I understand how masturbation can bring that release from life's struggles, but in the end the release becomes a struggle itself.
I'll keep you in my prayers, remember to get back up if you are knocked down. It is worth the fight.